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From YouTube: The Words We Use
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A
Hello,
hello
and
welcome.
My
name
is
angie
antoniak.
I
am
a
school
social
worker.
I
would
like
to
take
a
moment
for
you
to
really
think
about
when
you
are
in
communication
with
someone,
whether
it's
a
child,
whether
it's
your
child,
whether
it's
a
co-worker,
significant
other.
What
you
want
that
person
to
experience
so
first
pick
a
person
who
do
you
want
to
picture?
What
do
you
want
their
experience
to
be
when
they
are
communicating
with
you
in
one
word?
What
do
you
want
their
experience
to
be.
A
Okay,
I
hope
you've
had
a
chance
to
think
about
it,
perhaps
jot
it
down
or
just
keep
that
kind
of
word
in
mind
an
example
from
here
at
school.
When
I
work
with
some
of
my
co-workers,
we
talked
about
this
question
of
what
we
want
people
to
experience
when
they're
in
our
building,
when
they're
here
at
marley
glenn.
Some
of
the
words
that
came
up
in
that
context
were
acceptance.
A
A
This
word
down
is
because
we,
as
the
speaker
we
as
a
part
of
a
conversation
as
a
communicator,
we
make
other
people,
feel
things
experience
things,
and
we
can
see
that
on
the
other
person's
face
in
their
body
language,
in
their
response
to
us
as
parents
and
as
caregivers,
we
have
a
tremendous
amount
of
control
over
our
communication.
A
We
are
role
modeling
for
our
kids
and
they're
learning
from
us.
They're
learning
more
about
what
we
do
from
watching
what
we
do
than
the
actual
words
that
come
out
of
our
mouth
and
you
will
find-
and
you
know
you
may
observe
this
when
you're
out
at
a
restaurant
or
shopping
or
at
a
park
in
a
school
at
work.
A
People
bring
in
energy
people
bring
something
to
a
conversation
and
it
will
affect
how
that
conversation
goes.
I
think
about
this
with
my
own
children,
if
we
are
really
intense
and
stressed,
and
both
communicating
in
that
way,
perhaps
in
a
really
loud
tone
of
voice
with
tense
bodies,
it's
going
to
increase
the
stress
and
again,
kids,
look
to
us
as
guides
for
how
should
I
feel
about
this
situation.
A
So
I
find
myself,
especially
when
I'm
with
young
children
or
in
a
pre-k
classroom
the
more
gentle
and
calm.
I
am
regardless
of
the
chaos
around
me,
the
more
it
brings
down
that
environment
to
be
a
positive,
connecting
learning
environment,
and
that's
what
often
we
want
at
home
too,
rather
than
if
we
meet
our
kids
anger
everybody's
going
to
get
angry
right
if
we
meet
our
own
child's
anger
and
frustration
with
anger
and
frustration
ourselves.
A
Rarely
rarely
does
that
settle
down
more
likely,
it
becomes
more
explosive
and
it's
often
better
to
just
even
walk
away
and
schedule.
Another
time
to
talk
when
both
parties
are
feeling
a
little
more
calm
so
again
to
bring
it
back
to
how
we
started
today.
With
that
word,
what
do
you
want
someone
to
feel
when
they're
with
you
do
you
want
them
to
feel
happy
and
open
and
accepting
and
cooperative
that's
another
one
right
important?
It's
going
to
start
with
role,
modeling,
calm
and
neutral.
A
Often,
what
we
bring
to
a
situation,
especially
with
younger
people
with
kids,
is
what's
mirrored
back
at
us
and
so
to
be
really
aware
of
our
tone
and
our
body
language
and
our
facial
expressions
is
very
important,
and
I
remember
reading
once
a
long
long
long
time
ago,
when
my
my
teenage
young
adult
children
were
so
so
little,
was
that
a
greeting,
how
you
greet
your
child,
your
co-worker,
your
partner,
your
friend,
that
first
greeting
sets
the
tone
really
for
the
day
or
for
your
conversation
or
for
your
time
together
and
for
us
to
be
really
aware
of
our
greetings
to
one
another.
A
Making
eye
contact
smiling
simply
saying
I
am
so
happy
to
see
you
today
can
really
start
things
off
on
a
good
note,
you
may
point
out
wow,
I'm
feeling
really
good
that
you're
here,
I'm
so
happy.
Do
you
see
my
smile,
but
again
it's
a
greeting.
It's
a
good
morning.
A
It's
I'm
glad
to
see
you
but
to
really
really
kind
of
shape
that
greeting
around
a
happy
moment
and
a
smile
and
a
good
morning
or
a
good
evening
or
a
hello,
and
one
of
the
keys
that
I
have
to
bring
up
as
we're
talking.
A
Is
this
these
days
we
all
are
in
our
phones,
and
we
are
role
modeling,
that
and
for
that
first,
greeting
of
the
day
with
whomever
it
may
be,
to
not
be
looking
at
a
phone
to
be
making
eye
contact
and
smiling
is
really
going
to
set
you
up.
A
For
some
positives
and
some
cooperation
so
think
of
your
greetings,
think
of
how
you
do
that:
how
do
you
walk
into
your
child's
bedroom
or
when
they
walk
into
your
bedroom
start
with
a
smile,
and
I'm
glad
to
see
you
some
other
ideas,
some
other
ways
to
go
along
some
concrete
tips
here.
So
we've
talked
about
greetings
the
other
thing
so
important.
That
is
a
positive
and
the
words
that
we
use
a
simple.
Thank
you
to
anyone
in
your
world
really
for
anything.
A
A
You
is
a
big
deal
and
is
really
gonna
change
that
interaction
and
change
it
for
the
better,
not
that
it
was
gonna,
be
a
horrible
interaction,
but
it
really
again
sets
things
on
a
positive
tone
and
imagine
being
a
little
one,
especially
a
little
child
or
a
young
child,
or
a
teenager
even
and
being
appreciated.
So
hey.
I
really
appreciate
the
way
you
open
the
door
for
me.
A
Thank
you
or
thank
you
so
much
for
coming
downstairs
today,
or
thank
you
so
much
for
for
your
smile
when
you
came
home
or
thank
you
for
helping
me
clear.
The
dishes
without
me
asking
the
simple
process
of
saying
thank.
You
is
a
big
deal
and
it's
a
great
way
to
compliment
someone
a
co-worker,
hey
thanks
for
you
know,
helping
me
with
so
and
so
today,
whatever
it
might
be,
but
we've
talked
about
greetings
and
we've
also
look
my
fingers
disappeared.
A
We've
also
talked
about
thanking
and
gratitude,
because
that's
a
real,
positive
and
a
great
way
to
start,
even
if
you
have
a
tough
conversation
with
a
child,
even
if
that
child
has
just
done
something
that
has
made,
you
feel
really
really
angry,
it
might
be.
You
know
thank
you
for
stopping
kicking
the
wall
or
thank
you
for
quieting,
your
screaming,
whatever
it
might
be.
A
thank
you
is
a
great
sentence,
starter
with
anyone.
A
A
If
you're
having
an
ongoing
behavior
issue,
whether
it's
at
bedtime
morning,
time
meal
time
homework
time,
your
child
refuses
to
do
anything.
A
You
know
bigger
behaviors
screaming
kicking
walls
whatever
it
might
be.
The
best
way
for
a
brain
to
learn
a
new
behavior
is
through
positive
reinforcement
of
the
behavior
that
you
want
catch
them
being
good.
A
Hey.
I
really
like
how
you
quieted
down
and
looked
at
a
book
instead
of
screaming
hey.
Thank
you
so
much
for
not
calling
your
sister
a
bad
name
or
the
opposite
of
that,
which
is
probably
a
little
more
effective,
would
be.
Thank
you
so
much
for
being
kind
to
your
sister
again
that
positive
and
we
incorporated
the
thank
you.
Did
you
notice
that
that
positive
lights
up
a
pathway
in
the
brain
like?
Oh
I'm
supposed
to
do
this
more?
A
Sometimes
our
positives
have
to
be
a
little
bigger,
hey.
I
noticed
today
that
you
finished
all
your
homework
before
5
p.m.
Let's
go
pick
out
a
treat.
Let's
go,
have
a
special
walk.
Let's
go
have
a
snack,
I'm
really
proud
of
you
for
making
that
choice,
and
so
then,
that
child's
brain
lights
up
like
oh.
A
A
A
What
does
my
behavior
need
to
be?
What
is
the
consequence
with
our
children
when
there
is
something
that
needs
to
get
done?
We
can
either
scream
and
yell
take
out
the
trash
it
stinks,
but
what's
that
usually
going
to
get
met
with
either
the
child's
brain
is
going
to
be
scared
of
the
volume
of
the
screaming
the
child
may
get
angry.
A
The
child
may
refuse
to
do
it.
The
child
may
do
it
sure,
but
we
also
might
be
creating
a
little
fear.
There's
a
lot
of
children
where
screaming
is
not
effective
and
it's
actually
really
scary
and
it
sets
the
brain
into
a
fear
state
rather
than
screaming
another
option
again.
Another
way
to
use
our
words
to
make
a
difference
is
to
use
when
then
sweetie.
When
you
take
out
the
trash,
then
you
can
invite
your
friend
over
or
when
you
take
out
the
trash.
A
We
have
talked
about
positive
reinforcement
and
keeping
you
know,
catch
them
being
good
and
then
fourth,
we
just
talked
about
using
the
sentence
structure.
When
then-
and
I
guess
we
started
with
the
overall
umbrella,
I
guess
this
is
really
important
as
well.
So
we
have
these
four
strategies,
but
the
overall
message
is
to
stay
calm
and
neutral
and
smile,
because
that
will
set
the
tone
of
your
communication
and
don't
hesitate
if
you
are
feeling
angry
and
frustrated
and
feel
like
that's
spilling
over
that's
okay,
that
happens
to
all
of
us.