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From YouTube: Living with Patrick
Description
Fresh out of college, Carol and Tom Skelly married and moved to Arlington VA. In 1987 their second child Patrick was born and by his 3rd year they realized something wasn't quite right with him. The family's future would have to change, and Carol would become the advocate she didn't plan to be.
A
It's
really
wonderful
to
see
some
of
these
kids
with
intellectual
disabilities
grow
up
and
kind
of
take
their
place
in
the
community.
I
came
to
Arlington
when
I
was
first
married.
We
were
married
right
out
of
college
and
we've
lived
in
Arlington
ever
since
my
daughter
was
born
in
1985,
and
my
son
Patrick
was
born
in
1987.
A
Patrick
is
actually
very
Placid,
easy
baby
in
comparison
to
our
daughter,
who
was
kind
of
colicky
and
nervous
and
high-strung,
but
he
was
you
know
a
pleasant,
smiling
little
guy
I
think
we
probably
had
very
fairly
conventional
expectations.
We
wanted
to
continue
with
our
careers
and
raise
our
children
and
I
think
the
everyone
has
high
expectations
for
their
children.
A
A
A
A
It
was
very
frightening
at
first
and
I
think
we
and
other
parents
who
go
through
this.
You
know
it's
a
loss
and
I
think
you
feel
you
know
something
of
the
similar
to
the
stages
of
grief.
You
know
anger
guilt
denial,
all
of
those
all
of
those
emotions
coming
over
you
at
once.
We
had
different
expectations
about
the
future,
and
you
know
there
was
a
lot
of
just
fear
of
the
unknown.
A
A
My
husband
and
I
were
very
much
on
the
same
page
and
we
were
lucky
in
that
regard.
I'm
I
know
other
families
where
that
hasn't
been
the
case,
and
sometimes
it
causes
it
can
cause
friction
in
a
marriage.
In
terms
of
the
way
that's
affected,
my
daughter,
it
was
very
difficult
to
explain
to
her
what
was
happening
to
Patrick
and
I.
A
Think
that
made
it
hard
for
her
because
he
didn't
respond
to
her
either,
just
as
he
wasn't
responding
to
anyone
else
and
I
think
she
she
felt
rejected
by
that
there
was
a
long
learning
curve.
It
isn't
something
you
can
understand
just
by
observing
it
requires
training
and
education
in
order
to
really
figure
out.
A
What's
going
on
in
the
middle
school
years,
I
began
to
focus
on
what
would
happen
to
Patrick
when
he
became
an
adult
and
at
that
time
I
and
some
other
parents
founded
a
group
in
Arlington
called
C
Pass
which
stands
for
concerned
parents
for
Arlington,
Adult
Services,
and
it
was
a.
It
was
a
network
of
parents
who
were
interested
in
looking
ahead
and
educating
themselves
about
what
resources
were
going
to
be
there
when
their
kids
became
adults.
A
B
A
C
A
Daughter
now
that
she's
grown
up
is
much
more
engaged
with
Patrick.
She
has
a
much
deeper
and
more
nuanced
understanding
of
the
situation
and
she's
concerned
about
him.
So
much
doing
generally
I
think
he's
doing
pretty.
Well
he's
been
swimming
thing.
You
know
we
went
through
a
couple
of
weeks
where
he
really
slept
a
full
night,
only
one
out
of
every
three
nights,
but
then
this
last
week
he's
been
fine,
so
you
know
I,
don't
I,
don't.
B
A
B
A
A
fairly
structured
life
as
a
result
of
trying
to
meet
his
needs
when
Patrick's
happy.
You
know,
there's
no
happiness
like
what
you
see
with
him,
the
things
that
he
enjoys.
He
really
enjoys
we're
able
to
teach
him
to
unload
the
dishwasher
and
that's
actually
a
big
help,
because
I
can
be
doing
something
else
in
the
kitchen
and
the
problem
is
that
he's
he's
so
enamored
of
putting
the
dishes
away.
That
he'll
put
the
dirty
dishes
away
too,
if
you
leave
them
on
the
counter.
A
A
A
Patrick
works
at
mvle
and
he
does
mailroom
work,
it's
a
good
environment
for
him.
It
provides
structure
and
engagement
and
he's
gotten
a
lot
of
good
support.
Their
school
and
county
support
for
transition
from
the
school
system
to
adulthood
has
improved
quite
a
bit
as
a
result
of
advocacy.
Well,
I
became
an
advocate
because
there
are
always
things
that
need
to
be
changed
to
make
life
better,
not
only
for
Patrick,
but
also
for
other
children
and
adults
with
special
needs.