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From YouTube: Celebrate Recovery Month 2017
Description
Arlington County Behavioral Health Div. and Arlington Peers Helping Peers in Recovery present their annual Celebrate National Recovery Month event. This year's theme is "Join the Voices for Recovery: Strengthen Families and Communities". Recorded on Sept. 27 2017 at Busboys and Poets in Shirlington.
A
Good
evening
my
name
is:
Elizabeth
shook
Talley
and
I'm
the
wellness
and
recovery
manager
at
the
behavioral
health
care
division
and,
on
behalf
of
the
behavioral
health
care
division
and
the
Department
of
Human
Services,
along
with
peers,
helping
peers
in
recovery.
I
would
like
to
welcome
you
all
to
this
very
special
program.
As
we
celebrate
national
recovery
month,
I'd
like
to
bring
up
our
Director
of
Human
Services
and
either
Friedman
to
come
and
say
a
few
words.
B
B
Thank
you.
It
was
just
a
few
years
ago
Elizabeth
and
I
were
discussing.
You
know
we
got
to
do
something
a
little
more
interesting,
we're
not
gonna.
Do
it
at
the
library
again
or
have
a
boring
speaker
tell
us
about
recovery.
We
know
what
recovery
is
about
right
right,
we
live
it.
We
can
speak
about
it,
we
can
sing
about
it.
We
can
story,
tell
about
it.
We
can
fill
our
hearts
with
laughter
and
and
have
a
beautiful,
intimate
setting
here
where
we
can
all
join
together
and
share
important
parts
of
our
lives.
B
So
we
are
very,
we
feel
very
fortunate
to
be
able
to
unite
with
all
of
you
tonight
to
have
this
special
moment
together.
I'm
not
going
to
bore
you
with
all
these
many
more
details.
We
have
a
special
proclamation
which
was
signed
by
the
county
board
in
honor
of
national
recovery
month.
So
I'm
gonna
ask
delegate,
Patrick
Hope
to
come
up
and
tell
us
the
Reta
good.
C
Evening,
everybody,
and-
and
thank
you
so
much
for
being
here-
I'm
Patrick,
hope,
I'm
a
delegate
in
the
Virginia
General
Assembly
I,
represent
part
of
of
Arlington
and
I.
Also
send
you
greetings
from
from
Richmond.
I
will
tell
you
that
that
since
I've
been
in
elective
office
for
eight
years,
you
see
all
different
kinds
of
CSB
s
and
Department
Human
Services
across
the
state,
but
I
have
to
tell
you
bar
none
Arlington,
County,
CSB
and
Department
of
Human.
Services
is
one
of
the
best
in
the
entire
state.
C
And
so
I
want
to
congratulate
Anita
Freeman
for
her
leadership,
but
not
just
Anita,
not
it's
not
just
because
of
Nita.
It's
the
people
behind
me.
It's
the
stuff
that
you're
gonna
hear
tonight
and
everyone
here
in
this
room
that
makes
the
Department
of
Human
Services
and
the
CSB
one
of
Arlington,
one
of
the
best
in
the
Commonwealth
and
so
I'm
here
also
to
extend
some
greedy
UNS
from
the
Arlington
County
Board
and
they
have
put
together
a
proclamation,
a
2017
national
recovery
month,
Proclamation
and
I'd
like
to
read
it
to
you.
C
Those
affected
can
overcome
their
disease.
That's
probably
the
most
important,
whereas
here,
whereas
we
must
encourage
relatives
and
friends
of
individuals
with
mental
and/or
substance.
Abuse
disorders
to
implement
preventive
measures,
recognize
the
signs
of
a
problem
and
guide
those
in
need
to
appropriate
treatment
and
recovery
support
services
and
whereas
treatment
in
recovery
of
people
who
struggle
with
sudden
Sabu's
disorders,
not
only
give
them
a
new
opportunity
at
life.
It
improves
the
welfare
of
our
entire
community.
C
Now,
therefore,
I
Jeff,
a
set
chair
of
the
County
Board
of
Arlington
Virginia,
do
hereby
recognize
September
of
2017
as
national
recovery
month
in
Arlington,
County
and
I
call
on
all
Arlington
ian's
to
support
the
recovery
needs
of
those
afflicted
by
addiction,
and
it's
signed
by
J
pecet,
the
chair
of
the
Arlington
County
Board.
So
it's
I
bring
you
greetings
on
on,
beat
im3
greetings
on
behalf
of
the
Arlington
County
Board,
but
of
the
entire
Arlington
delegation
to
Richmond
I.
Thank
you
all
for
coming
out
tonight.
C
B
A
The
behavioral
healthcare
division
at
Arlington
County
provides
comprehensive,
comprehensive
mental
health
and
substance
use
services
to
adult
residents
of
Arlington
County,
including
counseling
therapy,
emergency
and
psychiatric
services,
and
much
more,
please
see
the
back
of
your
program
to
access,
see
how
to
access
our
services,
and
then
there
are
also
some
brochures
on
the
back
table.
As
you
came
in,
you
may
have
been
greeted
by
some
of
the
staff
at
one
of
our
contractors,
who
is
our
partnering
organization
for
this
program,
which
is
Arlington's
peer-run
recovery
center?
A
Some
of
you
may
be
wondering
just
what
is
a
peer-run
Recovery
Center,
well
Arlington,
peers,
helping
peers
in
recovery
is
a
safe
stigma,
free
place
for
those
experiencing
mental
illness,
substance
abuse
and
homelessness.
The
center
is
run
by
peers
or
people
who
have
lived
experience
with
mental
health
or
substance
use
disorders.
They
have
been
there.
The
center
helps
people
overcome
challenges
in
a
welcoming
and
supportive
environment
that
emphasizes
recovery.
The
participants
benefit
from
a
greater
sense
of
inclusion,
awareness
of
recovery
and
personal
responsibility.
A
This
service
complements
the
services
that
the
behavioral
health
care
division
that
provides,
and
there
also
more
information
in
the
back
if
you're
interested
in
learning.
So
when
we
speak
of
recovery
in
terms
of
mental
health
and
addiction,
we
hear
different
meanings
and
often
I
hear
that
it's
not
entirely
clear.
What
we
do
know
is
that
it's
different
for
everyone
and
that
we
are
all
on
our
own
journey.
We
also
that
know
that
it's
not
a
linear
path,
the
definition
that
is
widely
accepted
from
the
substance,
abuse
and
mental
health
services,
administration
or
Samsa
states.
A
That
recovery
is
a
process
of
change
through
which
individuals
improve
their
health
and
wellness
live
a
self-directed
life
and
strive
to
reach
their
full
potential.
Reaching
our
full
potential
is
what
many
of
us
are
striving
for.
Those
of
us
who
deal
with
mental
health
and
addiction
issues
are
no
different
from
those
without
in
terms
of
what
we
want
out
of
life.
The
theme
for
the
recovery
month,
2017,
is
join
the
voices
for
recovery,
strengthen
families
and
communities.
A
For
this
specific
event,
we
chose
to
focus
on
the
community
and
just
having
the
venue
for
an
event
such
as
this.
At
a
restaurant
in
the
community
for
the
community
highlights
the
theme,
but
also
the
individuals
who
will
be
speaking
this
evening
will
be
weaving
into
their
stories.
What
or
who
in
the
community
have
has
helped
them
on
their
journey.
Each
year,
recovery
month
invites
individuals
in
recovery
to
share
their
personal
stories
and
successes
in
order
to
encourage
others.
A
Sharing
personal
stories
and
successes
encourages
others
to
do
the
same,
which
can
hate,
help
break
down
the
barriers
that
have
led
to
much
stigma
and
discrimination
for
far
too
many
years.
Tonight
is
an
attempt
to
diminish
this
and
to
see
people
as
the
in
devote
individuals.
They
are,
and
not
their
diagnosis,
just
as
our
participants.
I,
too,
have
lived.
A
Experience
and
mine
happens
to
be
with
a
mental
health
issue
and
I've
been
an
advocate
for
many
years,
both
in
my
personal
life,
as
well
as
my
job
here
as
the
wellness
and
recovery
manager,
Arlington
County
values
the
perspective
of
lived
experience
in
a
management
role,
with
the
purpose
of
helping
to
make
our
system
even
more
recovery.
Oriented
the
importance
of
sharing
our
stories
is
something
that
is
very
near
and
dear,
but
tonight
is
about
the
nine
individuals
on
this
stage
and
they
will
be
sharing
their
stories
and
their
talent.
A
We
have
some
really
amazing
people
here
who
are
courageous
enough
to
step
up
and
speak
out
about
their
recovery
in
regard
to
their
own
lived
experience
with
mental
health
and
addiction
in
order
to
help
educate
the
community,
as
well
as
to
help
people
understand
that
we
can
and
do
the
healthy,
productive,
fulfilling
lives
in
the
midst
of
being
in
recovery.
I
do
want
to
make
a
disclaimer
that
some
of
the
things
you
will
hear
this
evening
are
difficult
difficult
to
hear,
but
these
are
people's
stories
of
recovery
and
sharing.
A
D
D
Some
of
you
already
might
be
uncomfortable
with
what
I'm
talking
about
and
I
could
go
on
into
more
detail,
but
I
won't
because
I'd
rather
delve
into
why
we
are
all
so
uncomfortable
to
talk
about
mental
illness
and
try
to
remind
you
all
that
the
connection
that
I
feel
so
many
of
us
have
forgotten.
It
angered
me
before
my
attempt
and
still
does
to
this
day
when
people
say
a
person
was
selfish
for
trying
or
sadly
succeeding
and
killing
themselves.
It
wasn't
selfishness
that
drove
them.
D
D
The
frustrating
belief
I
have
is
that
if
we
just
realize
how
much
alike
we
all
are,
it
would
heal
so
much
of
the
pain
we
feel,
but
fear
tends
to
rule
us.
All
fear
is
telling
you
not
to
listen
to
me
or
that
I'm,
a
loser
for
giving
up
or
not
being
tough
enough
fear
wants
you
to
think
that
you're
in
control
fear
tells
you
that
you
don't
fear,
tells
you
not
to
listen
to
the
stories
about
depression
or
the
mentally
ill,
because
either
oh,
that's
so
sad
or
well.
D
I
can
relate
because
it
doesn't
affect
me
personally.
Fear
wants
us
to
live
in
our
own
bubbles,
because
the
second
we
connect
with
someone
else,
the
second
we
have
compassion
or
understanding
for
another,
is
when,
for
a
brief
moment,
we
see
that
we
are
all
connected
for
most
of
my
entire
life
I.
Listen
to
that
fear.
It
took
me
down
an
angry
and
destructive
path.
It
was
only
when
I
stopped
listening
to
fear.
D
D
Because
I
was
because
of
that
stupid
stigma
of
fear
and
embarrassment
had
built
up,
so
damn
much
I
was
afraid
to
even
ask
friends
for
help
or
even
use
Google,
but
after
my
suicide
attempt,
I
stopped
giving
in
to
the
fear
all
the
time
and
in
the
past
two
years,
I
can
say:
I
finally
have
a
job.
I,
love,
I'm,
working
on
a
science
fiction,
graphic
novel,
I
hope
the
world
gets
to
see.
D
D
In
how
we
feel
at
times,
it
would
have
been
more
dramatic
if
I'd
said
it
all
together,
but
we
must
stop
waiting
for
someone
else
to
fix
us
waiting
to
be
healthy
is
like
waiting
in
line
for
a
carnival
ride
that
everyone
around
you
seems
to
have
been
on,
and
they
all
seem
to
love
it,
and
you
want
to
get
on
it
too,
and
you
wonder
how
they
got
on
and
where
they
got
a
ticket.
And
then
you
get
bitter
and
sad
at
everyone
around
you,
because
they
have
it
all
figured
out.
D
D
Let
us
reach
a
point
when
someone
says
that
they're
depressed
you
don't
say
to
get
over
it
or
oh,
you
were
doing
so
good
until
now,
you
just
listen
to
them,
talk
to
them
and
start
to
figure
out
ways
to
start
the
healing
process.
Let
us
not
look
at
mental
illness
as
a
stigma,
but
as
a
reality
that
all
of
us
have
in
some
form.
Please,
let's
talk
to
each
other.
D
Let
us
see
how
much
we
are
all
alike,
rather
than
focusing
on
differences
that
are
minor
and
pointless,
because
whatever
sex
race,
religion
or
anything
else
that
others
make
us
feel
different
for
just
remember.
We
are
all
human
and
we've
all
done
that.
Weird
half
silly
run
half
walk
when
crossing
the
street
when
the
lights
about
to
change
another
one
of
the
I'm
gonna
be
late.
D
Let
us
stop
and
put
ourselves
in
other
people's
shoes.
Let
us
stop
allowing
the
word
hope
to
be
looked
as
a
bad
four-letter
word.
Let
us
all
look
at
one
another,
and
rather
than
pointing
out
our
other
weaknesses,
we
see
the
strength
than
all
of
us
rise
every
day
to
keep
fighting
back
and
learn
from
that.
Let
us
see
that
us
versus
them
has
never
and
will
never
be
the
long-lasting
answer.
D
Because
I
can't
do
this
alone,
and
neither
can
you,
but
the
beautiful
thing
is
we
don't
have
to.
We
are
all
connected.
So
let's
stop
fighting
that
connection
and
come
together
as
one
stop
listening
to
fear,
but
ultimately
remember
that
none
of
us
are
ever
truly
alone
talk,
listen,
learn
and
love
one
another.
These
are
just
words,
but
together
we
can
make
them
a
reality.
Thank
you.
E
E
These
are
my
personal
top
ten
supports
for
recovery
number
ten
hospitalizations
I
attempted
suicide
twice
once
at
19
and
once
again
at
50
each
time
I
was
hospitalized
and
my
recovery
journey
was
rebooted
number
nine.
The
past
is
the
past.
I
learned
that
holding
on
to
old
anger,
bad
situations
and
negative
feelings
were
not
healthy.
For
me,.
E
Memories
and
feelings
do
resurface,
but
I
try
and
put
them
back
in
the
past
where
they
belong.
Number
eight
electroconvulsive
therapy
ECT
when
I
was
46,
I
worked
for
an
excellent
company
and
had
a
good
job.
However,
my
work
pressures
and
my
mental
health
collided
I
went
on
short-term
disability
for
seven
months.
I
had
a
series
of
ECT
treatments
and
I
was
able
to
return
to
work,
I'm,
not
sure
which
was
most
beneficial,
not
working
or
the
ECT
number.
Seven
correct
diagnosis
drive
treatments
at
nineteen.
They
called
it
a
crisis
of
Independence.
E
They
then
came
depression,
followed
by
unipolar
depression,
a
bunch
of
other
disorders
came
and
went,
including
a
DD.
Now
my
disorders
are
bipolar
too,
and
a
generalized
anxiety
disorder
number
six
better
living
through
chemistry,
in
other
words,
prescription
medication
meds
are
like
my
safety
net
I
still
get
depressed,
but
not
as
deeply
and
not
for
as
long
meds
call
my
anxious
thinking
and
feelings
and
make
it
easier
to
cope
with
life.
My
cocktail
of
meds
now
includes
two
antidepressants:
a
mood
stabilizer
and
two
anti-anxiety
drugs.
E
Number
five
talk,
talk,
talk,
talk,
talk
therapy
in
combination
with
meds
or
the
foundation
of
my
wellness.
Cognitive
behavioral
therapy
helps
me
reframe
my
distorted
thoughts
and
feelings.
I
keep
adding
strategies
to
my
recovery
toolkit
and
pull
them
out
when
I
need
them.
Group
therapy
is
quickly
becoming
my
favorite
peers,
meet
to
share
commiserate
and
learn
from
each
other.
I
participate
in
online
peer
support
groups.
E
Eventually,
I
was
ready
to
venture
out
from
the
safety
of
my
peers
to
the
community
at
large,
I
took
painting
classes
and
woke
up
my
right
brain
I
participated
in
art
group
and
annual
art
shows
at
the
Arlington
Behavioral
Health
Division
I
sold
my
art
there
and
at
other
venues
in
2015
I
joined,
Del
Ray
artisans
in
Alexandria.
My
work
has
been
displayed
there
in
their
group,
shows
I,
taught
workshops
there
and
shared
my
artistic
techniques
and
point
of
view
I
even
co-curated.
The
show
in
May
I
got
a
plot
at
a
community
garden.
E
I
work
in
the
garden
for
a
couple
of
hours,
almost
every
day,
I
meet
and
chat
with
tho
gardeners,
as
we
tend
to
our
plot
I'm.
Finally
brave
enough
to
share
my
mental
illness
with
some
of
the
new
people
in
my
life,
it's
a
huge
relief
not
to
hide
anymore
number,
2,
f,
ft,
furry
feline
therapy
in
2012
I
adopted
pip.
My
cat
I
was
well
enough
to
take
care
of
someone
else.
I
get
out
of
my
own
headspace
when
I
take
care
of
someone
else
or
help
them
later.
I
set
up
a
cat
sitting.
E
Business
now
I
get
all
the
cat
therapy
I
need,
along
with
some
extra
income
and
now
my
number-one
support
for
recovery,
family,
Robert
and
I
he's
right.
There,
Robert
and
I
met
in
1999.
We
are
very
good
friends.
Once
I
received
an
invitation
addressed
to
me
and
my
family
I
asked
Robert.
If
he
wanted
to
go
with
me,
I
said
you
could
be
my
brother
without
skipping
a
beat.
He
said,
I
thought
I
was
your
brother.
E
We
love
each
other
unconditionally.
Together,
we
navigate
tough
times
and
celebrate
happy
times.
Robert
is
the
family
I
never
really
had.
In
conclusion,
I
am
always
learning
about
myself
and
recovery.
I
started
taking
classes
towards
becoming
a
peer
recovery
specialist.
This
past
Monday
I
will
be
in
recovery
for
the
rest
of
my
life.
Mental
illness,
in
my
opinion,
cannot
be
cured,
but
just
managed.
Thank
you
for
listening
and
coming
tonight.
F
G
Everyone
thank
you
for
being
here.
Torture
is
one
way
I
have
connected
with
others
in
the
community.
Allen
County
Library
has
Porter
workshop,
where
you
can
write
and
read
original
poems
in
an
informal
group,
I
express
myself
through
my
portrait.
I've
met
many
wonderful
people
and
made
lasting
friends
here
who
these
trenches
I
have
been
able
to
get
support.
In
times
of
crisis,
I've
been
able
to
celebrate
the
good
times
with
my
friend
portrait.
Writing
is
very
therapeutic
for
me.
G
I
have
reached
a
level
of
good
recovery
and
I've
been
able
to
see
myself
to
recognize.
I
have
self-worth,
and
now
I
will
read
two
short
poems
that
I
wrote
myself
like
this
one
that
you
all
know
this
is
the
first
time
I've
ever
done
this
in
a
setting
such
as
this,
so
I
appreciate
you
all
give
me
positive
energy.
G
The
first
poem
is
entitled
beasts
or
not.
It
came
one
day
like
a
flash
of
light
set
up
council
just
for
a
long
night.
He
asked
no
questions.
I
was
alright.
He
saw
her.
Not
she
never
knew
is
coming,
but
it
had
to
go.
He
stolen
her
life
about
much
of
a
fire
he's
taking
so
much
and
give
him
her
zero
she's
the
left
battle,
Jews,
who
scared
of
her
tomorrow,
he's
still
here
nine.
They
said
not
good
to
think
about
asking.
Also
how
I
know
you
see
I
journey
down
the
Stars
everlasting.
G
I've
been
alone
and
I've
challenged
all
yet
I
didn't
hear
just
the
same.
There's
no
need
for
shame.
There's
no
one
to
blame.
There's
someone
Harry
help
relieve
me
from
all
this
misery
and
pain,
I've
struggled
to
find
wisdom
and
insight.
That's
my
mission,
be
it
alright
at
journal
in
light
in
day
and
night
through
what
I
said,
I'm
in
need
of
some
support
and
a
little
come
from
out
of
satellite
there's
a
long
weekend
to
come
home
to
the
real
person
bird
seed
and
now
I
accept
these
because
I
sell
the
hidden
me.
H
H
H
Otherwise,
when
I
was
in
fourth
grade
in
elementary
school,
I
was
in
a
class
where
the
teacher
was
teaching
us
watercolor
and
I
was
very
artistic
and
I
did
very
well,
but
I
asked
one
of
the
kids
in
the
class
for
a
couple
of
his
paintings
and
I
took
that
home
and
showed
it
to
my
parents,
thinking
that.
Well
maybe
this
would
be
good
enough
and
when
I
was
10,
I
took
some
money
out
of
the
the
cleaning
lady's
purse.
H
To
make
myself
feel
better,
and
with
me
these
days
we
are,
there
is
a
tremendous
focus
on
substance,
abuse
and
alcoholism,
which
is
is
over
long
overdue
in
terms
of
society
addressing
those
issues.
For
me
it
was
compulsive
behaviors.
The
first
thing
that
I
used
was
work.
I
was
always
good
at
school,
I
became
a
lawyer
and
I
was
working.
I
worked
for
a
big,
firm
and
and
joined
the
Securities
and
Exchange
Commission
and
eventually
became
their
director
of
Equal
Employment
Opportunity,
but
even
with
all
that,
even
with
the
accolades
I
never
felt
good
enough.
H
At
the
same
time,
my
dad
had
introduced
us
to
the
joys
of
gambling
and
I
used
gambling
to
escape
from
myself.
I
was
always
running
away
and
then
I
started
using
shoplift
things,
because
I
had
a
little
shop.
You
know
in
the
Manteca
mall
and
I
wanted
people
to
have
what
they
wanted.
So,
instead
of
coming
up
with
a
business
plan
and
figuring
out
an
effective
way
to
do,
this,
I
just
simply
gave
things
away
to
people
again
wanting
to
take
care
of
everybody
like.
H
Unfortunately,
and
and
the
mental
health
part
of
things
is
that
I
started
in
college,
I
started
experiencing
depression
and
and
started
going
to
therapy,
but
it
was
never
adequately
diagnosed
or
addressed
in
the
next
25
years.
Kept
going
to
therapy
kept
working
like
a
maniac,
kept
shoplifting
and
kept
gambling
and
kept
running
away.
H
Ultimately,
I'm
like,
unlike
the
the
accolades
and
the
tangible
benefits
of
success
that
you
get
when
you're
an
attorney,
the
shoplifting
led
me
to
be
arrested
after
three
times.
The
judge
finally
said
this
cannot
continue
and
I
served
16
months
in
Arlington,
Detention
Center,
but
even
that
didn't
address
the
underlying
issues
that
were
prompting
me
to
try
and
run
away
from
myself.
H
So
when
I
got
out
I
laid
low
for
about
six
months,
I
went
to
a
terrific
program,
which
is
an
organization
of
friends
of
guesthouse
that
provides
transition
with
people
who
for
women
who
are
coming
out
of
jail
and
prison
and
created
a
foundation
for
me
to
move
forward.
Yet
without
dealing
with
those
underlying
issues,
I
kept
running
for
the
next
six
years,
I
continued,
even
though
at
this
point
I
had
had
to
give
up
my
law
license.
I
continued
looking
closely
behavior
2016
the
switched
violence.
H
H
I
am,
I
found
the
help.
I
got
from
Arlington
behavioral
health
to
be
priceless,
I
kind
of
joked
that
I
spent
thirty
years
going
to
private
practitioners
and
putting
wings
on
people's
houses,
but
the
therapists
Rachael
fielding
who
I
saw
there,
helped
me
finally
address
the
issues
of
all
the
negative
messages
that
I
was
giving
myself
24/7
and
helped
me
start
turning
those
around
and
challenging
them,
and
seeing
that
my
perceptions
were
distorted.
H
H
D
I
Good
good
good,
we
start.
Let's
do
something
fun.
Can
everybody
turn
to
somebody
that
they
don't
know?
That's
right
next
to
them,
and
just
say
hello,
just
please
do
it
that
you
don't
know
just
say
hello,
okay,
so
we're
all
here,
we're
not
on
our
phone
or
any
of
that
stuff.
We're
all
here
right
now,
good
what
I'm?
What
I
was
asked?
Thank
you
for
having
me
here
tonight.
Elizabeth
asked
me
to
come
in
chair
I'm
gonna,
be
the
your
token
alcoholic
drug
addict
for
your
viewing
pleasure
tonight.
I
Okay,
so
Elizabeth
wanted
me
to
come
and
share
my
experience,
strength
and
hope,
with
being
in
recovery.
I've
been
working
this
program
for
about
nine
years.
Just
over
nine
years,
it's
been
a
wonderful
experience.
It's
awesome.
All
I
had
to
do
was
burn
my
life
to
the
ground.
It's
amazing
and
she
also
wanted
me
to
talk
to
you
guys
about
what
it's
like
to
be
a
peer
recovery
specialist
which
is
an
honor
just
as
it
is
being
here
tonight.
I
Okay,
this
is
something
I
get
to
do,
because
I'm
sober
today
when
I
was
out
there
ripping
and
running
and
destroying
stuff.
No
one
was
asking
me
to
share
my
experience,
strength
and
hope
with
them.
Okay,
so
this
is
a
gift.
My
story
is
very
simple:
okay,
my
alcoholic
abusive
drinking
and
behavior
got
so
bad
that
I
had
to
reach
out
for
help.
Just
like
everybody,
just
did
I
had
to
reach
to
a
complete
stranger
and
accept
the
help
you
know.
I
had
seen.
I
People
who
were
in
recovery
and
I
had
hope
that
it
would
work.
For
me,
too,
you
know
hope
is
the
main
ingredients
to
all
of
all
recovery.
So
when
I
made
that
call
and
I
said,
I
need
help.
You
know
and
I
called
somebody
who
I
did
not
know
at
all,
and
this
guy
did
two
things
for
me
that
day
and
they
were
within
hours
of
each
other.
I
He
said:
you're
gonna
be
okay,
and
you
sort
of
tell
me
all
this
stuff
that
I
was
gonna,
have
to
start
doing
like
going
to
90
meetings
in
90
days
and
call
him
every
day
and
tell
him
what's
going
on
and
got
it
out
the
open.
You
know
honest
which
I
hadn't
been
in
years
and
then
he
said,
I
will
be
there
tonight
at
your
work
at
7:00
o'clock
and
later
that
day
he
was
there.
This
complete
stranger
showed
up
at
my
work
in
his
car.
I
did
not
know
who
he
was.
I
He
was
the
only
guy
waiting
for
me
in
the
parking
lot
kind
of
waving
at
me
or
whatever
and
before
I
got
into
the
car
I
leaned
into
the
window,
and
that
was
the
first
thing
he
did.
He
said
he
would
be
there
and
he
was
there
and
when
I
got
there,
that
night
and
I
leaned
in
the
window
and
I
had
to
tell
him
I
was
like
look.
I
I
find
your
whole
approach
a
little
bit
much
these
things
are
outlandish,
I
mean
meanwhile,
I
have
no
nothing
to
lose,
except
everything
right
and
your
whole
attitudes.
You
got
a
chill,
you
know
honestly
and
any
kind
of
laughs
he
laughs.
You
know
and
I
said.
I
asked
him
of
the
magic
question
and
he
gave
me
the
magic
answer.
I
said
what
would
you
have
done
if
I
would
have
just
hung
up
on
you
and
he
looked
me
dead
in
the
face
and
I
said
I
would
have
found
somebody
else
to
help.
I
Okay,
so
the
seeds
of
recovery
and
service
to
others
were
planted
right
than
in
there.
He
would
have
found
somebody
else
to
help
who
wanted
to
help
over
the
years.
I
have
had
the
pleasure
and
the
honor
of
sponsoring
other
men
I
currently
sponsor
like
three
guys
it.
They
are
the
bright
spot
of
my
life,
the
recovery.
You
know
working
the
program,
the
way
it's
directed,
not
you
know
my
way.
I
You
know
my
sponsor
would
say
things
like
you
know
just
for
today
try
to
just
be
a
normal
person
just
for
today
just
try
not
to
quit
your
job.
When
you
get
frustrated,
you
know
just
stuff
like
that.
You
know
one
day
at
a
time
like
we've,
all
it
wasn't,
a
show
from
the
70s
is
actually
a
day
a
slogan
and
and
what
and
then
he
would
kind
of
bust
me
a
little
bit
and
I'd
say
you
know
if
I
could
just
figure
this
out.
I'll
be
okay,
he
would
say
if
I
could
just
figure.
I
This
out
is
about
one
of
our
AAA
slogans.
Okay,
if
you
could
figure
this
out,
don't
you
think
you
would
have
already
done
that
by
now
and
I
was
like
yeah
you're
right.
You
know
things
like
that.
Helped
me
he
humbled
me.
They
grounded
me.
They
kept
me
in
line
the
recovery
process
that
I
went
through
and
I'm
still
going
through.
You
know
today,
one
day
at
a
time.
I
do
this
every
single
day,
because
my
life
depends
on
it
and
it's
a
great
life
has
led
me
to
my
job,
which
is
a
peer
recovery.
I
Specialist,
no
Elizabeth
and
I
went
and
took
the
training
together.
It
was
one
of
the
greatest
things
they
ever
got
to
be
a
part
of
you
know:
I
I
get
to
work
at
a
CSB
over
in
Mary
field.
It's
the
front
lines,
I
see
people
coming
in
and
it's
mental
health
stuff.
It's
substance,
use
I,
love
it
it's
not
an
alcoholic
or
a
drug
addict.
You
have
a
substance,
use
issue,
it's
wonderful!
It's
like
so
politically
correct!
Isn't
it
isn't
it
great,
so
good?
I
I
love
it
and
I
get
to
actually
talk
to
these
people
instead
of
comparing
out
oh
I.
Never
did
that.
Oh
I
never
did
that
I
get
to
go
I
get
it
woke
up
in
the
morning
drink
a
bottle
of
whatever
decided
to
quit
your
job
at
eight.
That
makes
complete
sense
to
me.
You
know
and
I
relate
in
and
I
relate
in
and
I'm
in
and
that's
all
I
do.
That's
I
get
paid
to
relate
into
people
who
are
in
crisis.
I
It
was
explained
to
me
and
I
don't
care
where
you're
from
or
what
your
deal
is.
We
all
come
from
some
kind
of
trauma:
okay,
I,
don't
care!
What
your
trauma
is.
Your
trauma
is
your
trauma.
My
trauma
is
my
trauma.
Through
the
recovery
process,
I
was
able
to
get
down
to
the
root,
causes
and
conditions
as
to
what
that
was
so
that
I
can
move
through
it.
So
that
doesn't
own
me,
you
know
I'm,
not,
then
we're
as
sick
as
our
secrets,
all
these
catchy
little
phrases
that
saved
my
life.
I
J
Good
evening,
everyone,
my
name,
is
Chuck
I
would
like
to
share
a
story
before
you
I
like
to
tell
you
about
why
it
is
like
the
majors
good
question:
there's
a
disability,
it's
a
battle
to
overcome.
I
was
born
in
Arlington
Virginia
I
am
turned
on
here.
Joan
I
have
a
disability
in
the
mental
illness.
The
type
of
disability
is
from
mental
retardation,
but
it's
often,
though,
as
they
interred
that
disability
I
have
maybe
the
question
my
mom
has
mental
illness.
J
J
The
first
night
was
tough
trying
to
find
somewhere
to
sleep,
so
I
slept
at
Central
Park.
The
next
day.
I
got
a
million
a
homeless,
shelter.
I
stayed
there
for
a
whole
week.
At
the
end
of
the
week,
people
tell
me
to
come
back
home
and
I.
Remember
that
this
person
from
that
shelter
said,
if
you
don't
fix
your
problems,
your
problems
won't
keep
on.
Following
you,
I
got
back
on
the
bus
and
went
back
to
our
anything
man.
I
look
back
home.
That
was
the
first
time.
J
I
was
hospitalized
I
spent
one
month
in
the
hospital
and
then
I'm
going
to
jail
for
five
months.
I
know
I'm
never
going
to
get
out.
They
believe.
God
was
on
my
side.
When
I
got
out
the
doctor,
they
will
be
as
having
major
compression
having
major
depression
feels
like
I'm
in
the
doctor.
It
feels
like
there's
no
light
at
the
end
of
the
tunnel.
We
see
this
past
summer.
J
J
If
I
don't
get
a
lot
of
sleep,
that's
when
this
suicidal
dogs
come
in
right
now,
I
am
thankful
from
my
treatment
thing:
I
try
to
stay
busy
and
active
by
hanging
out
with
friends
and
going
to
Panera
and
hearts
with
a
big
important.
The
County
provides
I
also
go
to
the
edge
program
for
young
adults,
and
we
love
Kevin,
who
is
in
relation
to
me.
Kevin
is
a
peer
support
specialist
who
works
at
the
county
when
Kevin
came
with
my
life,
that's
when
I
knew
that
God
wanted
me
to
be
a
peer
support.
J
J
What
keeps
me
alive
is
doing
the
things.
I,
love
and
I
love
the
Baltimore
Ravens
last
year,
I
got
to
meet
my
hero
and
inspiration,
Wayne
Lewis
of
the
Baltimore
Ravens,
and
also
got
to
meet
half
of
the
team.
I
realized,
like
God
created
me
like
this
and
I
learned
how
to
accept
that.
I
have
with
disabilities
and
a
mental
illness.
J
K
Good
evening,
everyone-
it's
not
honor
and
a
privilege
to
be
here
tonight.
I
am
first
of
all
a
mother,
three
away,
a
teacher
and
a
writer
and
a
woman
who
really
really
believes
in
God.
Members
of
my
family
all
suffer
from
depression
and
different
levels
of
anxiety
and
me
trying
to
be
the
supermom
running
around
trying
to
fix
everything
wasn't
and
now
that
I
was
suffering
from
depression
too,
but
I
was
on
functional
depressant
just
going
around
night.
K
You
know,
sitting
by
myself,
I've
had
more
and
more
and
more
so
I
couldn't
really
think
about
it
face
of
reality.
Sorry,
it's
a
little
hard,
but
all
this
time
my
family
was
falling
apart.
I
had
so
many
sleepless
nights,
so
much
dysfunction
was
going
on
one,
so
many
things
I
couldn't
understand
and
just
at
the
breaking
point,
and
especially
at
night,
it
got
really
really
worse,
but
my
support
came
in
three
folds.
Thank
you,
God,
first
of
all,
my
friends,
some
who
are
here
tonight.
K
K
They
were
lifesavers
a
shout
out
to
my
therapist,
Laura,
Ballard
and
and
the
therapy
she
goes
far
and
beyond
her
job
and
all
the
other
staff
members,
the
respect,
the
confidentiality,
the
sincerity,
but
most
of
all,
they
shall
love
and
they
have
embraced
my
family
and
myself
and
I
just
don't
know
what
I
would
do
without
them.
So
this
is
why
I
want
to
share
some
poetry,
that
I
wrote
and
the
name
of
it
is
a
journey
to
healing
point.
K
K
Everything
is
going
wrong.
I
tried
to
make
it
right,
but
see.
I
was
imposing
my
own.
Will
I
wasn't
walking
by
faith?
I
was
walking
by
faith
and
just
a
mass
right
here
that
you
wear
in
a
masquerade,
I
cling
to
it,
I
wore
it
each
and
every
day,
I
had
to
wear
it
to
keep
from
having
to
take
the
pain
away.
In
so
many
ways,
that's
God.
K
What
is
this
season
going
to
end
God
gently
answered
and
said
it
begins
within
God
told
me
that
I
couldn't
help
anybody
in
my
family
that
the
hill
and
first
had
to
begin
with
me
and
I
trusted
God
that
this
would
be.
Then
the
revelation
was
so
clear,
limiting
clear.
My
eyes
could
finally
see
my
ears
could
finally
hear
the
road
to
recovery.
It's
not
far.
It's
near
now,
I'm
on
my
way
to
the
journey
of
healing,
so
path
is
not
easy.
K
It's
hard
sometimes,
but
knowing
that
be
and
my
family
will
be
heal,
makes
the
struggle
so
divide
the
spirit
of
depression.
I
will
not
have
in
my
possession
again
I
say
the
spirit
of
depression.
I
will
not
have
in
my
possession
and
this
year,
mass
I
don't
need
it
anymore,
because
I'm
getting
strong
and
stronger
every
day
to
face
reality
or
as
for
me
and
my
family,
we
claim
the
victory.
Thank
you.
F
F
That's
my
counselor
out
there,
Aaron
whitehead,
so
community
service
board,
Arlington
Department
of
Health
Services,
has
been
a
great
resource
for
me.
I
have
been
connected
with
some
peers
who
I
see
out
in
the
audience
today
and,
to
be
frank,
one
of
the
biggest
pieces
of
advice
that
I
got
from
my
counselor
was
that
in
all
of
my
self-importance,
the
way
I
once
and
frankly
continue
to
see
them
as
disabled
is
the
way
that
the
people
in
my
church
community,
the
young
adults
there
see
me
and
it.
F
It
sucked
so
I'm
thankful
for
my
father
I'm
thankful
for
my
family
I'm
thankful
for
having
a
financial
situation
that
allows
me
tremendous
healthcare
opportunities,
I'm,
not
completely
dependent
on
DHS
and
so
I
will
speak
more
to
having
a
private
psychiatrist.
Who
has
been
with
me
for
four
years
now,
I.
F
F
The
other
side
of
this
cousin
of
schizophrenia
is
I,
also
have
a
mood
disorder
so
trying
to
come
up
with
something
to
write
here,
fluctuated
a
lot
and
I've
been
really
behind
in
school.
The
last
five
weeks
I
haven't
shown
up
to
a
lot
of
classes.
I,
don't
sleep
well
or
I,
sleep
in
or
I,
wake
up
and
I,
don't
go
to
I,
don't
go
to
school;
I,
don't
go
to
work.
I
have
a
lot
of
hate
in
my
heart
and.
F
F
He
said,
keep
it
to
a
mind
on
men,
so
the
mind
in
many
indigenous
and
ancient
civilizations
or
even
currently
in
Hindu
Buddhist
culture
means
the
heart.
Mindfulness
is
heartfulness,
is
the
actual
translation
and
after
four
years
of
isolation
in
Berkeley
California
in
my
early
20s
and
loss
of
hair,
I
came
to
have
a
split
between
my
heart
and
what
we
call
in
America
our
mind
and
I,
experienced.
F
Just
psychotic
thoughts
or
words,
and
it's
really
hard
for
my
mom
to
hear
and
I
talked
to
my
dad
a
lot
about
it
and
it's
kind
of
weighing
on
his
spine
and
it's
time
for
me
to
take
responsibility
for
my
own
mental
health
and
I've
made
a
lot
of
progress
over
the
last
four
years
coming
home.
Medication
has
helped,
even
though
it's
very
resistant
to
it.
It
helps
me
see,
what's
possible,
I,
don't
recognize
that
as
a
cure.
It
certainly
doesn't
calm.
F
F
I'd
like
to
also
thank
all
of
you
at
the
moment
for
listening
to
me
out,
I
was
hoping
I'd
break
out
into
tears
and
tell
you
guys
everything
that
I
hear
inside
myself,
but
maybe
that's
not
the
point.
I
hope
to
at
Mason
that
I
now
currently
attend
to
start
a
Nami
chapter,
National
Alliance
on
Mental
Illness,
the
shirt
I'm
wearing
I
didn't
want
to
get
too
dressed
up.
You
dressed
up
for
you
guys
so
I
could
wear
this
t-shirt.
Nami
has
been
a
big
help
just
reaching
out
for
all
the
resources.
I
can
and.
L
L
Thanks
for
letting
me
share
some
of
my
anxiety
with
you,
this
is
my
brain.
Every
single
day,
overthinking
constantly
focused
on
calming
down
from
every
small
emotional
trigger.
It's
a
little
of
what
it's
like
to
be
me.
So
Who
am
I.
My
name
is
Dominique
and
at
the
age
of
18,
I
was
diagnosed
with
three
major
mental
illnesses,
borderline
personality,
disorder,
PTSD
and
bipolar
disorder,
all
which
stemmed
from
the
constant
turmoil
and
trauma
that
I
dealt
with
from
the
beginning
of
my
childhood.
L
Until
just
a
few
years
ago,
every
day
since
being
diagnosed,
I
have
diligently
worked
towards
having
a
normal
life.
I
came
from
a
dysfunctional
family
who
constantly
berated
me
with
negativity
left
me
to
fend
for
myself
and
still
they've
done
nothing
wrong.
I
was
emotionally
physically
and
sexually
abused
by
the
people
that
I
cared
about
most
and
I
believe
that
it
was
because
I
was
not
good
enough.
Smart
enough
pretty
enough.
L
What's
funny,
though,
is
that
if
I
had
not
tried
to
give
up
and
leave
this
world
I,
never
would
have
gotten
better
I
never
would
have
been
able
to
have
friends
who
gave
me
the
family
have
always
been
looking
for.
I
never
would
have
graduated
from
college.
I
never
would
have
found
a
counselor
who
has
helped
to
place
me
in
a
more
stable
mindset,
stable
home
and
stable
character.
L
Despite
my
past
and
my
diagnosis,
I
pulled
through
because
I
know
how
to
work.
I've
been
working
with
my
counselor
with
for
almost
five
years,
she's
been
there
for
me,
because
I
showed
her
that
I
wanted
to
be
there
for
me,
despite
not
having
the
tools
to
do
that.
When
she
met
me,
I
was
a
scared.
Little
girl
trying
to
work
in
the
shadows
of
those
who
believed
to
be
better
than
me.
I
was
easily
misled,
manipulated
and
used
now,
almost
five
years
later,
I'm
stronger
than
I've
ever
been,
and
why?
L
Because
I
do
my
best
to
make
every
appointment
apply
every
month,
and
my
counselor
gives
me
to
work
with
my
diagnosis:
I
take
control
of
what
I
can
and
I
reach
out
for
help
when
I
know
I'm
going
to
fall,
I
accept
my
mistakes.
Take
responsibility
for
my
actions
and
I
make
sure
I
don't
continue
to
repeat
my
mistakes
if
I
can
help
it
I
put
in
the
work
to
pull
through
and
complete
my
goals,
no
matter
how
hard
it
is.
L
It's
not
easy
living
with
mental
illness.
We
constantly
have
to
fight
invisible
battles
that
no
one
may
recognize
this
for
when
we
finally
win
two
Outsiders,
whose
brains
are
recognized
by
society
as
normal,
it's
normal
to
make
it
through
the
day
without
a
breakdown
or
suicidal
thought,
or
physical
injury
made
by
oneself
to
us,
the
individuals
constantly
outcasted
by
society,
our
community
and
friends
and
family.
We
have
to
constantly
remind
ourselves
to
be
proud
that
we
could
accomplish
a
normal
day
and
never
beat
ourselves
up
if
it's
not
normal.
A
Thank
you
all
so
much
for
coming
out.
Thank
you
to
all
of
our
presenters
and
I
really
hope
that
you've
been
inspired
this
evening
and
that
you've
seen
some
great
examples
of
recovery
and,
on
your
way
out.
Please
pick
up
an
inspirational
glass
stone
that
as
a
reminder
of
the
courageous
individuals
that
you
heard
this
evening
and
the
inspiration
of
hope
for
recovery.
Thank
you.