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Description
A mother-artist panel led by artist, mother and Senior Director of Exhibits at the Desert Botanical Garden, Laura Spalding Best, with local artists to hear about the experiences of balancing their art practice and motherhood.
Panelists include Ashley Czajkowski, Gloria Martinez-Granados and Sami Lange.
A
Foreign
buddy,
thank
you
for
coming
here.
Thank
you
to
our
panelists
and
our
moderator.
This
is
our
panelist
artist,
Moms,
making
art
and
raising
children.
My
name
is
Lauren
I'm,
the
adult
programs
coordinator.
So
one
of
the
reasons
that
we're
pulling
this
program
artist
moms,
is
because
we
have
an
exhibit
picturing
home.
That's
going
to
be
closing
August
13th.
A
So
if
you
haven't
seen
it
go
check
it
out,
it's
in
the
exhibit
hall,
but
in
picturing
home
we
have
artist
mom
Dorothea
Lang,
who
was
a
documentary
photographer
and
arguably
has
photographed
the
most
famous
picture
in
American
history,
the
migrant
mother,
and
we
wanted
to
go
ahead
and
highlight
the
challenges
and
the
wonderful
art
that
comes
from
being
a
mother
and
being
an
artist.
And
so
she
lived
from
1895
to
1965,
worked
with
the
farm
Security
Administration
and
has
Doc
committed
some
important
work.
A
So
these
wonderful,
ladies
here,
are
doing
the
same
thing
today
and
we're
going
to
go
ahead
and
we're
going
to
highlight
moms.
This
doesn't
mean
that
we're
not
gonna
We're
Not
Gonna
acknowledge
all
the
other
caretakers
fathers.
Grandparents,
anybody
else
who
takes
care
of
children.
That
is
all
wonderful
work
as
well,
but
we're
just
highlighting
our
moms
today.
B
B
My
work
really
looks
at
the
Sonoran
desert
landscape
resources
in
the
desert.
I
do
oil,
painting,
unfound
objects,
I
do
mural
work
and
public
art
as
well.
I've
also
worked
in
the
arts
and
culture
sector
for
about
17
years,
I
was
formerly
at
Scottsdale
Museum
of
Contemporary
Art,
as
the
exhibitions
manager
for
about
16
years
and
I'm,
currently
senior
director
of
exhibits
at
Desert,
Botanical,
Garden
and
I've
been
at
that
for
a
little
over
a
year.
B
Now,
I
have
two
amazing
kids,
I'm,
the
one
that
doesn't
have
my
fam
with
me
today.
So
my
son
is
home,
sick
and
my
daughter's
at
a
sleepover,
because
it
was
the
first
week
of
school
this
week,
but
I
have
a
nine-year-old
son,
Malcolm
and
I'm
I'm,
a
new
mom
to
a
teenager.
My
daughter
just
turned
13.,
so
our
daughter,
Rosie
is
is
13.,
so
we
just
started
fourth
and
eighth
grade
Wild,
that's
a
little
bit!
I.
Think
that's
enough
about
me.
A
C
A
lot
of
my
work
centers
around
the
idea
of
the
human,
animal
and
kind
of
our
interconnectedness
with
the
rest
of
our
environment
and
rewilding
the
human
and
then
in
the
medium
I
work,
primarily
it
with
photography,
but
I,
really
an
expanded
kind
of
expectation
of
that.
So
I
do
a
lot
of
video
and
installation
work,
work
with
historic,
photographic
method.
So
a
lot
more
tangible
kind
of
work
as
well
and
yeah
I'm
excited
to
be
here.
I.
Think
that's
good!.
A
D
So
yeah,
my
name
is
Gloria
Martinez,
granados
I'm,
an
interdisciplinary
artist,
I'm.
Also
a
mother.
My
daughter
is
here
today
Rihanna
she
turned
18,
so
not
such
a
young
kid
anymore,
but
definitely
someone
who
continues
to
encourage
me
to
be
not
just
a
better
artist
but
a
better
person
and
she's.
My
finest
art
critique
that
I
can
have
around
I
work
in
interdisciplinary
Styles
I.
D
I,
think
that
the
process
of
working
with
different
materials
also
allows
me
to
be
more
expressive
within
my
work
and
kind
of
finding
a
way
of
understanding
what
it
is
that
I'm
trying
to
say
most
of
my
work
is
about
my
experience.
Growing
up,
undocumented
I
was
born
in
Guanajuato
Mexico
and
my
family
migrated
to
the
United
States,
so
I'm
raised
in
South
Phoenix
Arizona,
which
is
also
something
that
is
profoundly
expressed
through
my
work.
A
E
E
I
was
trying
to
see
if
there
were
any
patterns
that
we
do
as
working
mothers
that
we
can
change
or
more
impact
by
awareness
about
how
we
look
at
our
time.
So
themes
of
time,
themes
of
border
crossing
and
different
domains
and
sort
of
the
general
experience
of
what
it's
like
being
a
working
mother
are
themes
that
show
up.
E
So
mine
are
right
back
there
in
the
basketball
uniforms,
because
you
know,
as
a
mother,
you're
constantly
headed
everywhere,
so
we're
going
to
a
basketball
game
right
after
this
and
I
will
also
say
one
more
theme
we
got
here
the
day
covet
hit
so
I've
been
here
for
three
years.
We
got
here,
March
17
2020.
B
I'm
going
to
lead
us
through
three
kind
of
separate
topics
for
that
for
our
panel
today
and
I
mean
I
think
they
go
from,
maybe
maybe
a
little
of
the
harder
stuff
to
a
little
bit
of
a
more
positive
messaging
and
awful
stuff.
But
you
can't
avoid
the
stigma
and
adversity,
that's
inherent
to
the
relationship
between
being
an
artist
and
being
a
mother.
So
the
first
question
I'm
going
to
pose
to
our
panelists
is:
what
do
you
see
as
the
main
challenges
to
balancing
both
art
and
kids.
C
I'm
happy
to
start
I
feel
like
it's
I'm,
a
good
person
to
start
with,
because
I
think
that
I'm
still
working
in
the
transition
of
this
and
finding
a
balance
I
have
to
be
totally
honest.
This
first
set
of
questions
I
I
had
a
moment
of
like
deep
imposter
syndrome
where
I
was
like
I,
don't
know
how
to
do
this
yet.
C
Like
I'm
I,
don't
know
if
I,
if
I
have
figured
this
out
so
I
think
for
for
me,
one
of
the
things
that
is
really
difficult
is
finding
the
energy
I.
Remember.
Interestingly,
I
was
making
work
even
in
grad
school
like
10
years
ago
long
before,
I
was
a
mother
when
I
thought
I
never
would
be.
I
was
making
work
about
ideas
of
the
maternal
and
maternal
energy
and
what
that
is
like
and
I.
Remember
watching
a
video
that
by
Tracy
Emin,
who
is
a
a
well-known
artist,
really
vulnerable
work.
C
But
it's
different
like
the
making
is
different
and
the
way
that
they
weave
together
is
really
beautiful,
but
I
can't
do
both
at
the
same
time,
or
at
least
I
haven't
figured
out
how
to
do
that.
So
I
think
that
it's
it's.
It
goes
really
deep,
like
the
stigmas
and
it's
also
written
into
our
society
and
art.
History,
like
I,
was
reminded
in
a
book.
I
was
reading
recently
about
the
piece
by
the
gorilla.
C
Girls
called
something
about
being
a
woman
artist,
the
advantages
of
being
a
woman
artist,
and
one
of
them
is
the
opportunity
to
choose
between
your
career
and
motherhood.
And
so
it's
interesting
that
it's
just
it's
like
woven
in
and
it's
it's
an
expectation
that
it's
one
or
the
other,
so
yeah
I'm,
still
I'm
still
figuring
that
out,
but
but
I
think
that
energy
like
finding
that
energy
to
do
both
is,
is
really
challenging.
E
I
think
one
thing
I've
really
sort
of
transitioned
over
the
last
almost
10
years
of
motherhood-
is
that
I
used
to
feel
like
a
balance.
Was
this
thing
that
you
would
be
able
to
look
at
tangibly
like
within
a
day
or
within
a
week,
and
last
year,
I
had
a
really
significant
life
event?
I
was
hit
by
a
truck
last
July
I'm,
going
on
my
13-month
anniversary.
It
was
like
total
loss
of
control
I,
my
wonderful
husband
who's
sitting.
E
There
had
to
clothe
me
and
dress
me,
and
my
mom
made
me
like
literally
hundreds
of
burritos
I
mean
like
all
I
would
do,
is
eat,
but
it
was
like
I
couldn't
do
a
studio
practice
for
three
months:
I
couldn't
get
out
of
bed.
I
was
just
icing
15
hours
a
day
and
so
I
lost
my
whole
studio
practice.
And
what
was
interesting
about
that
time
was
had.
It
happened
10
years
ago.
E
You
know,
and
so
it's
like
just
this
acceptance
that
there's
some
really
nice
sweet
times
coming,
but
they
just
might
not
be
today,
and
so
just
that
kind
of
constant
reminder.
Looking
back,
you
know,
and
all
of
us
have
been
practicing
long
enough,
like
we
can
look
back
over
the
decades
and
now
see
this
cycle
that
keeps
occurring,
and
so
that's
the
one
thing
that
kind
of
I
never
even
think
about
balance
I'm,
just
like
when's
the
good
season
coming.
D
I
think
for
me
and
my
experience
with
motherhood
and
art
it
kind
of
just
came
to
me.
I
became
a
mother
at
a
young
age.
I
was
21
years.
Old
I
was
still
in
college.
I
was
back
then
in
nursing
school.
So
after
I
graduated
nursing
school
I
wasn't
able
to
become
a
nurse
because
of
my
immigration
status
so
that
career
just
kind
of
went
down
the
drain.
D
So
yeah
I
agree
with
you
all
when
we're
talking
about
trying
to
find
a
balance
that
there
really
it
doesn't
exist,
the
only
constant
is
always
going
to
be
change
that
continues
to
happen
so
I
I,
think
for
me
and
art
I
came
at
it
a
little
bit
backwards
where
I
started
out
in
the
art
scene
and
vending
at
different
local
events
through
the
valley.
So
then,
when
I
was
able
to
go
back
to
school,
it
was
kind
of
a
joke
within
my
daughter
and
I,
where
I
was
like.
D
B
I
love
that
I
think
it's
really
good
to
acknowledge
too.
Just
like
as
a
career.
It's
there's
one
is
like
kind
of
the
there's,
a
lot
of
confidence
and
power
just
in
identifying
as
an
artist
A
lot
of
people
are
hesitant
to
do
that
when
there's
so
many
artists
out
there
in
the
world,
but
then
as
a
career,
which
I
think
oftentimes
can
be
more
outwardly
categorized
as
like
a
hobby
or
you
know,
but
there's
there's
a
lot
of
stigma
there,
but
that
it's!
B
You
know
different
people
in
the
in
the
art
world,
if
you
don't
fit
sort
of
the
the
narrow
stereotypical
idea
of
what
an
artist
is
which
pretty
much
for
every
art,
mother
I,
think
sits
outside
of
that
and
we're
seeing
like
this
slow
change.
But
a
lot
of
that
change
comes
from
support
from
each
other.
That's
one
of
the
things
that
I
find
the
like.
We'll
talk
about
this
a
little
bit
in
a
little
bit,
but
the
most
support
or
good
advice,
I
guess
from
other
artist.
B
C
C
E
And
so,
when
I
was
doing
my
research
on
border
crossing
between
the
different
domains,
there
were
three
different
types
of
boundaries
that
came
up
temporal
or
time,
physical
and
psychological,
and
what
I
found
was
I
started
tracking.
All
of
my
time,
I'm
really
into
time
use
surveys
like
super
into
them
and
so
I
started
tracking.
All
my
time
and
I
started
looking
at
it
in
two
different
ways.
Psychologically,
where
is
my
head
versus
physically
aware?
E
Is
my
body
and
then
comparing
those
two
things
and
seeing
what
didn't
work
and
one
thing
that
I
found
was
I?
Have
a
really
nice
Studio
space,
my
master
bedroom
and
our
home
is
actually
my
studio
space
me
and
my
husband
sleep
in
the
little
room.
That
was
his
idea
and
I'm
grateful
for
it
and
so
I
have
this
like
luxury
luxurious
space
and
I
have
two
flat
files
and
I
built
a
huge
four
by
five
foot
standing
work
table
with
my
kids.
E
I
was
like
one
of
our
projects,
and
so
it
is
a
space
that
I
can
make
anything
that
I
want
with
my
paper
quilts
in
any
size
that
I
want
and
store
anything,
but
what
I
found
was
when
I
walked
into
that
space.
If
I
do
my
grading
in
that
space
or
I,
do
my
other
work
or
I
leave
my
laptop
in
there,
then
I
walk
into
the
space
and
it's
the
churn
and
so
I
now
separated
physically
I.
E
Do
all
my
work
a
couple
virtual
days
as
an
academic
librarian
I,
do
all
that
work
at
the
kitchen
table
and
some
of
those
small
choices
of
just
like
where
I'm
physically
going
to
practice
have
made
a
huge
difference.
So
for
my
studio
practice,
I've
taken
over
the
laundry
room
and
the
master
bedroom
and
I'm
happy
with
both
of
those
scenarios.
D
D
The
other
aspect
of
it
too,
with
my
studio
space
when
we
purchased
our
home
I,
didn't
even
realize
that
it
didn't
have
a
dining
room
like
I.
Just
like
was
thinking
it's
close
to
Central
Phoenix,
you
know
where
I
need
to
be
close
by
my
daughter
was
going
to
school
at
the
Arizona
School
for
the
Arts,
so
everything
that
we
needed
was
in
Central
Phoenix
and
the
house
was
there.
D
So
the
first
thing
we
did
was
we
bought
this
shed
like
a
storage
shed
and
I
converted
that
into
a
silk
screening
print
Studio,
my
family
came
over.
We
cut
things
up,
we
you
know
insulated.
Did
the
drywall
put
a
AC
unit
and
the
idea
of
it
is
that
I
can
invite
friends
to
come
over.
So
that's
also
been
something
that
we
often
do.
My
husband's,
also
an
artist.
D
My
father-in-law
is
an
artist,
so
I
feel
like
I've,
pretty
much
been
in
this
Arts
Community,
where
everybody
who
I'm
surrounded
by
is
either
part
of
my
practice
supports
my
practice
or
is
just
a
loving
person
that's
around
and
to
me
that
Community
just
becomes
a
very
important
aspect
of
it,
whether
it's
expressed
within
the
art
or
not,
it
still
does.
Have
you
know
it's
it's.
D
So
that's
kind
of
where
I'm
at
in
my
home
and
recently
I
have
also
started
renting
out
space
with
two
other
artists,
one
of
them
being
my
father-in-law
and
another.
One
being
a
long
time
friend
my
friend
Emily
Costello,
we
were
in
the
Phoenix
fritas
together,
so
I
feel,
like
my
studio.
Space
is
kind
of
expanding
right
now
and
I.
Don't
really
know
what
that
means,
but
because
I
do
have
so
many
practices
that
I
dabble
into
it's
kind
of
a
chaotic
mess
that
works
for
me
right
now,.
B
I'm
gonna
I'm
I'm
gonna
jump
in
on
this
one
as
well,
because
I
think
it's
like
that
at
a
very
number
one
asked
question,
but
when
you're
like
oh
wow,
you're
you're,
an
artist
and
your
mom,
how
do
you
do
it?
It's
just
like
kind
of
over
and
over
again,
and
some
of
it
is
just
like
real
boring
like
well,
it's
in
the
studios
in
the
living
room.
It's
like
really
abrupt.
B
If
you
come
to
my
house
and
you
open
the
front
door
you're
in
it,
and
you
know
it's
half
of
the
living
room's
face
and
when
I
was
a
younger
artist,
I
had
a
studio
off
of
Grand
Avenue
like
right
when
I
was
out
of
college
and
I
had
it
for
a
few
years.
It
was
cool.
You
know
no
kids
at
that
time.
So
it
was
like
all
about
art,
community
and
everything,
but
I
realized
really
quick
with
the
family.
B
That
I
would
never
be
able
to
make
my
work
without
an
in-home
studio,
and
it's
not
you
know
it's
there's
no
lines.
It's
not
separate
I
hope
to
have
that
when
they're
a
little
bit
bigger.
But
you
you
learn
that
like
interruptions
and
disruptions
really
aren't
interruptions
and
disruptions
like
you
just
you
know
pick
up
after
that,
I
think.
B
D
Yeah
so
like
I
mentioned
earlier,
when
I
was
a
young
mother,
I
also
became
part
of
a
group.
Collective
group
Collective
called
The
Phoenix
fridas,
and
it
was
a
group
of
women
who
identified
as
Latina
indigenous
Chicana
and
to
have
just
a
group
of
women
right
that
really
identified
with
me
in
a
way
that
I
had
never
experienced
community.
D
It
was
something
that
gave
me
a
lot
of
fortitude,
not
just
for
me
and
my
own
personal
Expressions,
but
you
know
when
we
got
together,
we
would
have
these
craft
nights
and
we
would
just
kind
of
talk
about
what
was
going
on
during
our
week
and
what
our
kids
were
up
to.
You
know
what
schools
each
person
had
their
kid
in
what
the
kids
interests
were,
what
types
of
materials
we
were
wanting
to
experiment
with,
what
kinds
of
you
know
practices?
Can
we
learn
skills
from
one
another,
so
it's
always
been
community.
D
That
has
been
something
that
continues
to
help
me
just
become
a
better
person
and
to
have
someone
to
reach
out
to
and
ask
for
help
it's
it.
You
know
Role
Models
I
think
come
in
different
forms.
Of
course,
my
mother,
my
mother-in-law,
they're
someone
that
I,
often
look
to
and
family
but
I,
feel
like
people
in
the
community
are
always
like
the
best
resources.
D
D
You
know
we
would
do
these
festivals
on
Frida,
kahlo's
birthday
and
people
would
be
like
who's
Frida
Kahlo,
so
it
was
I
think
during
that
time
it
was
definitely
something
that
I
can
look
back
on
and
see
how
much
that
influenced
me
as
a
person,
a
mother
and
a
creative
now
and
when
it
comes
to
just
people
that
I
look
up
to,
they
are
often
people
that
are
within
Arm's
Reach.
It's
someone
that
I
can
have
like
right
there
at
that
moment
when,
when
I
need
them,
the
most.
E
E
Chachi
kale
is
one
of
my
favorite
artists,
who
I
followed
for
a
long
time
and
she's
a
local
artist,
and
she
was
my
first
Phoenix
Art
friend
and
I
owe
just
like
a
huge
immense
sense
of
gratitude
for
her
for
coming
into
a
state,
I
wasn't
familiar
with
and
then
being
immediately
quarantined
and
seeing
what
it's
like
to
not
have
Community.
You
know,
because
I
came
from
a
California
art
community,
where
I
knew
a
lot
of
other
artists
and
I
had
a
lot
of
women,
friends
and
then
all
of
a
sudden.
E
It's
this
Global
pandemic
and
I
know
no
one
and
I'm
working
in
another
industry,
and
so
it
just
like
having
her
friendship
really
got
me
through
a
lot
of
hard
times,
but
then
I
also
started
branching
out
and
looking
at
other
things.
I
wanted
to
read
or
looking
more
at
resilience
and
there's
a
podcast
I
became
obsessed
with
and
I
didn't
know
what,
day
or
time
it
was
during
the
pandemic
at
all.
But
I
can
tell
you
every
Tuesday
every
other
week
at
2
pm
I
knew
that
that
this
podcast
would
drop,
and
it's
called.
C
Yeah
I
think
my
when
I
was
thinking
about
this
question.
My
initial
answers
were
kind
of
straightforward
and
I'll
mention
those
people,
because
they're
important
people
but
I
I
have
two
really
important
artist.
Mothers
in
my
life
that
have
become
really
strong,
Role
Models
one
as
Betsy
Schneider,
who
I
teach
with
and
I
meet
with
during
the
school
year
during
the
Academic
Year
meet
with
every
week,
and
so
I
was
able
to
talk
with
her
every
week.
C
We
got
less
work
done
and
more
talking
done,
but
it
was
really
important
for
me
and
you
know:
I
was
able
to
talk
with
her
through
my
pregnancy
and
into
my
postpartum
and
now
and
just
her
support
and
that
sort
of
community,
because
we're
meeting
virtually
was
maintained
all
through
the
pandemic,
and
it
was
amazing,
another
artist's
mother
that
I've
worked
with
in
the
past.
That
I
really
look
up
to
is
for
Solis
and
she
is
a
painter
and
she
also
created
the
creative
push
project
which
I
worked
on
back
in
2016..
C
C
But
I
think
through
this
conversation,
thinking
really
about
Community
I
feel
like
that.
Community
aspect
is,
is
the
most
important
part,
so
those
two
women
are
part
of
my
community
but
I'm
just
now.
Thinking
about
how
other
people
in
my
community
have
also
been
really
supportive.
My
husband
is
also
an
artist
and
I.
Have
a
wider
group
of
friends
who
are
artists?
Like
we've
been
you
know,
both
my
husband
and
I
are
artists.
C
We
also
have
been
like
just
surrounded
by
artists
since
we've
been
living
here
and
it's
been
interesting
to
see
those
Dynamics
change
with
my
artist
friends
who
are
not
parents
but
I
had
a
moment
where
two
of
my
artist
friends
came
over,
who
were
not
mothers
and
we're
just
all
kind
of
lamenting.
Similarly,
about
our
you
know,
lack
of
studio
time-
and
you
know,
I
was
really
getting
kind
of
intense
about
not
being
able
to
have
the
time
and
I
was
like
I.
C
Just
haven't
been
able
to
make
anything,
and
one
of
them
looked
at
me
and
said,
but
you
did
make
something
and
she's
right
over
there
and
she's
not
done
yet,
and
I
was
just
like
it.
Just
struck
me
and
I
was
really
I
was
so
grateful,
especially
as
a
non-parent
for
that
recognition
and
thinking
about
you
know
that
that
that
Creative
Energy,
you
know
that
that
for
art
making
and
parenting
is,
is
activated
and
it's
working,
even
if
I'm
not
like
making
a
tangible
prod
product.
B
E
Yes
to
all
of
the
above
I
think
I
think
it's
just
sort
of
a
beautiful
woven
life.
You
know
I
think
it's
this.
It
kind
of
I
mean
when
I
have
good
mothering
days.
I'm
like
on
fire.
You
know,
I'm,
like
I'm
gonna
go
die,
500
things
I'm,
not
even
gonna,
make
a
formula
like
you
know.
Let's
just
do
this
and
you
know
I
just
spent
like
four
hours,
cutting
those
500
shapes,
so
I
mean
it's
like
there's
like
a
freedom,
but
then
on
the
on
the
other
side.
E
On
the
days
when
mothering
is
hard
or
your
kids
are
sick
or
you
know,
like
everything
didn't
go
well
like
I
have
shorts,
I
need
to
change
into
in
the
car
and
they're
wet,
because
I
forgot
to
put
them
in
the
dryer
like
and
I'm
gonna
go
in
wet
shorts
to
a
basketball
game.
After
this
you
know
like
those
little
moments
where
you're
like
oh
how
annoying,
but
it
just
it
feels
like.
Okay
I'll
go
into
the
studio
and
that's
my
self-care.
E
You
know
it's
like
and
then
there's
bad
days
in
the
studio
where
you're
like
forget
this.
It
goes
in
the
trash
and
then
you
go
like
take
the
kids
to
Dave
and
Buster's,
or
you
know
it's
like
I
think
you
kind
of
have
to
like
move
it
back
and
forth
to
like
make
each
one
kind
of
make
the
day
a
little
bit
better.
That's
been
my
experience.
C
Do
a
lot
of
conceptual
work.
So
I
oftentimes
have
you
know,
ideas
and
then
I'm
sort
of
like
illustrating
those
ideas
and
it
changes.
You
know
in
the
process,
but
it's
been
a
long
time
since
I've,
just
like
sat
down
with
some
materials
and
just
like
played
and
experimented,
and
so
that
I
think
that
being
a
mom
has
helped
inspired
my
art
practice
in
that
way
and
then
also
to
Sammy's
Point
like
when
I
take
those
moments.
C
D
Yeah
I
mean
I
I,
keep
coming
back
to
this
whole
Community
thing
right
because
it,
it
really
is
a
huge
part
of
you,
know,
I,
guess
if
there's
a
way
to
measure
my
success
as
a
mother,
it
always
reflects
back
to
community
one
example
that
I
always
give
is
my
daughter
when
she
was
two
years
old.
She
just
could
not
sit
still
I
mean
she
would
not
be
a
kid
that
sits
down
and
eats.
D
There
was
a
second
showing
and
she
went
back
to
the
second
showing
and
sat
through
the
whole
second
showing
so
that
you
know
my
light,
bulb,
went
off
and
I
thought
all
right,
theater
classes
for
this
kid,
like
you
know
it
makes
sense.
So
I
found
this
organization
called
Rising
Youth
Theater,
her
first
performance
with
them
was
when
she
was
eight
years
old
and
now
she's
working
for
them.
D
So
it's
it's
such
a
full
circle
to
reach
at
such
a
young
age
within
community,
and
whenever
you
know
people
complimenting
compliment
me
on
my
daughter
and
tell
me
I
did
such
a
great
job
raising
her
I,
don't
take
the
full
credit,
because
it's
I
know
that
it
wasn't
just
me.
It
was
definitely
all
the
artist
friends
like
my
friend
here,
Jose
Benavides
who's
in
the
audience
today,
and
every
other
artist
friend
that
has
been
around
I
feel
that
with
kids
just
being
in
that
type
of
environment,
it
really
connects
you
to
other
individuals.
D
Oftentimes.
Our
society
pushes
the
whole
stranger
danger
idea
idea,
but
it
kind
of
cuts
you
off
at
the
same
time,
so
I
think
making
those
connections
to
Unknown
People
in
safe
spaces
is
something
that
we
greatly
need
because
it
like
the
proverb,
says
right:
we
we
it
takes
a
village
to
raise
a
child,
and
it
really
does
I
couldn't
have
done
it
myself.
D
I,
like
I,
said
I
was
21
years
old
when
I
had
my
daughter
and
just
having
all
of
that
support
has
made
me
a
better
mother,
not
to
undercut
my
you
know
my
energy
that
I
put
into
raising
my
child,
but
it
definitely
wasn't
just
me.
It
was
a
whole
lot
of
support
system
that
I
had
around
and
then
my
daughter
also
being
integrated
into
an
art
school
where
she
wasn't
just
learning
academics.
She
was
also
you
know,
playing
piano
singing
in
the
choir,
be
being
part
of
the
the
theater.
D
I,
don't
know
what
you
would
call
it.
Ensemble
classes
she's
the
first
one
to
go
into
the
performance
arts
in
our
family.
So
we're
like
learning
new
language
too,
but
yeah.
It
wasn't
just
me
it
Community
does
have
such
a
big
impact
in
the
way
that
individuals
are
formed.
So
to
me
that
was
the
the
force
that
not
only
allowed
me
to
be
a
better
mother,
but
also
what
I
needed
as
a
creative
to
be
able
to
express
the
ideas
that
I
have.
B
I
think
it's
you
know,
I
mean.
Hopefully
everyone
hears
a
similar
experience,
but
I've
always
appreciated
my
family,
but
I
really
appreciated
them
after
I
had
kids
I
have
amazing
in-laws
that
live
here.
My
parents
are
in
other
states,
but
my
my
mother-in-law
is
an
angel
and
you
know
not
just
like
kind
of
helping
with
care
and
even
just
being
in
the
same
room
while
someone
else
is
playing
with
your
kid
or
helping
feed
them
or
whatever,
but
caring
about
like
every
stage
of
the
way.
B
B
Have
you
seen
we?
We
all
have
different
stages
and
different,
so
Gloria
kind
of
came
to
your
art
practice
after
you
already
had
your
daughter
in
some
right
and
Ashley's
an
artist
before,
but
now
just
has
the
new
baby
and
Sammy.
Like
studies
this,
it's
incredible.
It
should
really
be
the
moderator
of
this
panel
I'm
interested
to
know
because
I
know
my
answer
for
this.
Do
you
see
yourself
or
have
you
adapted
your
practice?
B
C
Is
the
short
answer
everything
has
changed,
I
feel
like
one
of
the
things
so
conceptually
I'll
start
there
I've
really
been
thinking
a
lot
about.
You
know
before
I
had
my
daughter,
I
was
thinking
about
maternal
energy
and
I
was
also
thinking
about
the
human
animal
and
I
was
when
I
was
reflecting
on
these
questions.
Before
this
panel
I
was
remembering
how
I
had
a
studio
visit
with
a
photo
critic
and
theorist
who
was
didn't
actually
give
me
any
good
feedback.
C
I
thought
at
the
time,
but
after
I
talked
about
my
work
and
I
showed
my
work.
He
didn't
really
give
any
feedback,
but
he
looked
at
me
and
said
you
know
I
remember
when
my
wife
was
giving
birth
to
our
child.
She
just
looked
at
me
and
made
a
sound
that
was
so
animal
and
that
story,
even
though
it
was
not
I,
didn't
think
it
was
helpful
for
me
at
all
in
the
studio
visit.
C
C
C
That
fracture
time
right,
the
but
yeah
the
maternal
body
is
such
an
interesting
space
and
to
consider
that
I
think
a
lot
about
connecting
like
the
maternal
body
with
the
environment
and
thinking
that,
like
a
woman's
body,
is
the
first
environment,
every
human
experiences
that
just
blows
my
mind
to
think
about
like
and
how
yeah
so
conceptually
I'm.
Just
like
all
these
things
that
I
was
like
teasing
at
in
my
work
before
are
really
starting
to
make
connections
and
like
Pathways
for
new
work
in
a
real
practical
sense.
C
I
mentioned
you
know
getting
back
to
play
and
materials
I'm
been
really
inspired.
One
of
the
projects
I've
just
started
working
on
I,
don't
even
know
if
it's
a
project,
yet
I
don't
want
to
call
it
a
project
because
then
it'll
like
I'll
get
to
in
my
head
about
it.
You
know,
but
I've
got
I
got
this
Kaleidoscope
for
her,
that
you
can
put
like
nature
objects
in
and
I've
just
been
having
the
best
time
like
she
doesn't
care
about
it
at
all.
C
But
I've
been
having
the
best
time
like
making
new
videos
with
weird
things
that
I
find
in
the
environment
and
it's
really
fun
and
another
project,
so
I've
really
been
reinvestigating
childhood
too,
and
one
of
this
other
like
super
slow
projects,
I've
started.
It
requires
building
a
Victorian
dollhouse.
Now
I
got
this
like
a
month
after
I
had
her
and
I
was
like
cool
I'm.
Gonna
I'm
gonna
build
this
in
like
three
months
and
then
I'm
gonna
plant
seeds
in
it
in
the
spring.
C
I
have
maybe
like
the
very
base
level
of
this
thing
built
and
I've
only
been
able
to
build
it.
Thankfully
Community
to
an
artist
friend
of
mine
who
has
come
over
and
I'm
like
okay.
If
you
want
to
come
over
and
hang
out,
can
we
just
like
build
this
dollhouse
and
that's
all
we've
been
doing,
and
it's
been
really
great
but
but
yeah
so
practically.
C
E
I
can
think
a
cup
of
a
couple
ways.
My
practice
has
changed.
One
is
that
I've
always
been
an
artist
who
has
just
a
million
ideas
like
I
can
make
art
every
day
all
day
long
until
I
die
and
I
would
still
have
thousands
of
ideas
left
of
stuff
to
do,
and
so
I
think
there's
this
acknowledgment
of
like
okay,
a
I'm,
probably
midlife.
E
Think
too,
that
I
think
being
an
artist
is
hard
not
just
from
the
mothering
standpoint,
but
I
thought
it
was
hard.
Pre-Kid
too
I
think
it's
hard
to
make
work
to
put
it
out
in
the
world
to
be
confident
about
it.
All
the
time,
I,
just
I,
think
it's
hard
and
and
I
think
that
I
used
to
think
I
had
to
have
my
brain
on
in
a
certain
way,
all
the
time
like
I'm
in
the
studio.
E
E
The
next
day,
I
can
start
taping
them
down.
So
there's
a
little
bit
of
like
I,
don't
know
where
that
is
at
play,
and
then
there's
a
little
bit
of
sort
of
a
mental
shift
of
like
I
just
need
to
have
a
list
of
15
things.
I
know
I
need
to
do
next,
instead
of
think
about
it
at
every
single
stage,
because
I
know,
I
will
have
blocks
of
time
and
those
quiet
hours
are
the
decision
times
and
then
all
those
little
fractured
moments
are
the
moments
where
it's
like.
Okay,
300
are
getting
dyed.
D
D
And
now,
whenever
I'm
doing
a
project,
I
actually
hire
her
to
do
the
work
for
me
and,
of
course,
I
give
her
credit
and
I
pay
her
as
well,
but
I
feel
like
with
my
art
practice:
she's,
definitely
a
huge
particle
of
it,
whether
that's
just
in
providing
feedback
being
around
and
supporting
me
by
bringing
me
something
to
drink
something
to
eat,
while
I'm,
busy
and
I
can't.
You
know,
tend
to
myself.
She
comes,
and
she
shows
me
these
ways
of
love
right
and
also
just
her
connection
to
other
relationships.
D
Now
it's
we
talk
about
it.
Often
now,
when
we
go
out
together,
we
meet
people
that
we're
both
friends
with
which
she's,
like
that's
kind
of
weird
mom,
like
you
know,
because
they're
I'm,
older
or
they're
younger
or
whatever
it
is.
There
really
isn't
an
age
Gap
right.
It's
like
multiple
ages,
multiple
Generations
fit
into
art
and
I.
Think
having
those
types
of
friendships
are
also
something
that
that's
greatly
important
for
any
individual.
D
B
Swear
wonderful
answers,
I
like
what
you
said,
Gloria
bottom.
One
thing
that
I
definitely
find
among
artists
is
there's
not
really.
It
never
feels
like
an
age
Gap,
whether
it's
like
an
emerging
artist.
That
you're
like
have
I,
not
seen
your
work
before
and
you're
like.
Oh
it's
because
you're
21
or
something
and
then
I.
Remember
one
time.
B
It
was
like
you
know,
it's
funny,
I,
never
think
about
that,
but
there's
something
that
happens
with
the
kind
of
an
art
community
that
does
feel
that
way
like
it's.
You
know,
I,
don't
know
I
feel
like
we
all
relate
to
each
other
in
that
way,
even
if
you
have
more
of
like
maybe
a
mentor
or
a
kind
of
relationship,
but
in
that
secondary
part
is
like
the
the
timeline
of
being
an
artist,
a
lifelong
timeline.
You
know
it's
not
something
you
retire
from.
B
That's
something
I
I
still
like
Carrie
with
me
a
lot
and
it
came
from
I,
don't
even
know
what
the
quote
was,
but
it
was
more
like
I'm,
you
know
seeing
a
portrait
of
like
Alice
Neal
and
like
when
she
was
in
her
80s
or
something
like
that,
and
a
self-portrait
and
I
was
like
a
student
at
school
and
thought
like.
Oh,
that
makes
me
kind
of
calm
down.
I'm
a
pretty
go,
go
kind
of
person
and
it
makes
you
be
able
to
take
a
breath
and.
A
B
Okay
well,
however,
many
hours
of
artwork
I
can
fit
in
the
rest
of
my
lifetime
is
what
it
will
be,
but
I
have
the
rest
of
my
lifetime
to
continue
making
that
work-
and
you
know
I
only
have
this
time
with
with
my
kids
at
any
age
that
they're
at
so
I'm
gonna
make
this
my
last
question:
are
we
okay
on
time,
Lauren,
yeah?
Okay?
B
But
there's
there's
a
lot
that
we
knowingly
miss
out
on.
You
know
a
lot
of
a
lot
of
art.
Events
are
not
really
made
to
bring
your
children
to
them
and
a
lot
of
art
events
happen
at
bedtime
and
there's
there's
a
lot
of
things
that
are
just
kind
of
systemic
in
the
art
world,
but
I
wonder
if
everyone
could
maybe
give
an
example
of
something
that
they're
or
an
example
of
like
the
trade-off
of
something
that
you
know.
B
E
A
couple
things
like
that
that
just
you
know,
there's
like
that's
the
bottom
of
the
list,
so
I
do
my
daily
walk
and
then
I
don't
exercise
no,
but
I
think
that
one
thing,
that's
really
beautiful
about
being
an
artist
mother
and
particularly
with
my
space
right
now,
is
that
my
studio
is
really
open.
The
kids
are
welcome.
It's
a
even
though
it's
my
space
and
my
paper
quilts
are
all
over
on
the
wall
and
it's
my
stuff,
there's
always
a
space
for
them.
They
have
their
own
drawer.
E
They
have
their
own
supplies
like
when
I'm
up
early
I
lay
stuff
out
for
my
kids
when
they
get
up
on
school
days
to
come
in
and
do
what
they
want
to
and
that
Cycles
like
we're
in
a
cycle
right
now
where
my
kids
are
like.
No
thank
you.
I
would
rather
lie
on
your
floor
and
talk
to
you
while
you're
trying
to
read
something.
E
But
there
are
months
where,
like
they'll,
just
be
super
into
Lino
cuts
and
then
they
won't
be
and
then
they'll
be
super
into
watercolors,
and
then
they
won't
be,
and
so
that's
something
that
it's
just
beautiful.
I
love
getting
little
notes
on
my
studio
table,
I
love
when
my
son
was
two
or
two
like
two
and
three
I
cut
a
lot
of
circles,
and
so
I
would
get
these
really
wonky
ugly
glorious
circles
and
it'd
be
like
this
Square
Circle
I'm
like
well
I!
E
Didn't
do
that
you
know
so
it's
like
it
was
a
little
gift
from
my
little
kid
you
know,
and
so
that's
something
beautiful
that
inspires
me
every
single
day.
The
your
example
about
the
art
openings,
I
think
I've
been
to
one
since
I've
been
here
for
three
years
and
that
you're
right,
it's
the
Bedtime
thing.
It's
that's
the
one
thing
that
I
do
give
up
and
I
do
think
that's
a
way
to
build
community,
and
so
that's
something
that
I've
really
missed.
E
I
haven't
solved
that
dilemma
yet
because
your
other
point
about
you
know
this
is
their
time.
I
just
really
want
to
take
in
every
single
stage
like
it.
It
goes
so
fast
and
10
years
from
now
they'll
be
in
college
and
I.
Don't
want
to
look
back
and
think.
Oh
gee
I
finished
that
paper
quilt,
but
then
I
missed
these
things
with
them,
so
I'm
throwing
down
the
kid
time
right
now,
and
that
means
I
choose
my
paper
quilts
more
selectively
for
right
now.
C
She
was
like
how
are
you
and
then
I,
just
like
word
vomited
her
like
about
all
these
things
that
I
was
dealing
with
and
she
just
sat
back
and
then,
after
a
minute,
she
was
like.
It
sounds
like
you're
asking.
If
you
ever
get
your
identity
back
and
and
she
said
to
me,
she
was
like
you
will
and
then
she
said
you
know
your
life
is
actually
really
long
and-
and
so,
when
you
know
when
I
had
my
child
I
was
just
like.
This
is
my
job
now
like
and
thinking
about.
C
But
but
yeah,
like
someone
said
you
know,
you
only
have
like
18
Summers,
with
with
your
kids
like
when
they're
little
and
like
just
breaking
it
down
like
that,
I
was
like
I
was
like
yeah
I
need
to
be
here
in
this
space
right
now,
and
that
feels
really
important
to
me
missing
out
on
Art
openings.
Yes,
a
friend
of
mine
just
recently
was
like
I
got
Sylvan
Esso
concert,
tickets,
I
got
one
for
you,
and
I
was
like
yeah
I
can't
go
to
that.
C
D
It's
so
for
me
again,
coming
into
it
a
little
bit
backwards.
It
was
it's
kind
of
nice.
Looking
back
now
and
seeing
how
something's
worked
out
themselves.
I
was
doing
a
lot
of
table
vending
back
in
the
day,
so
I
feel
like
those
kinds
of
spaces,
are
definitely
very
family
friendly
spaces.
So
at
the
time
I
was
making
jewelry
which
I
could
make
at
home
and
then
go
and
bend
it.
So
then,
my
daughter,
you
know,
being
six
seven
eight
years
old
I
would
tell
her.
D
If
you
help
me
sell
I'll,
give
you
a
cut,
so
it
gave
her
these
great
skills
on
being
able
to
talk
to
people
doing
math
packaging
stuff
up
so
I
can't
even
see
it
now,
right
being
that
age
and
taking
her
to
an
exhibition.
It's
yeah
there's.
Definitely
that's
not
a
kid-friendly
space,
but
I
also
feel
like
that's
what's
great
about
art
that
there
are
so
many
paths
within
it.
D
So,
there's
choices
that
we
can
make
one
personal
one
that
I
I
cannot
partake
in
at
this
point
in
time
is
traveling,
so
traveling
outside
of
the
state
for
residencies
would
just
be
something
that
I
just
can't
do
at
this
point
in
time.
Financially,
it's
not
something
that
I
could
sustain
within
my
practice.
D
Traveling
out
nationally
is
out
of
the
the
picture
because
of
my
DACA
status,
so
I
feel
like
again
there.
That's.
The
beauty
of
art
is
that
there
are
those
different
choices,
and
it
was
actually
one
of
the
reasons
why,
instead
of
me
choosing
to
go
back
into
a
healthcare
field,
I
chose
to
go
into
a
creative
field,
because
it
is
I
mean
the
the
degree
itself
doesn't
really
get
you
a
whole
lot.
D
Let's
be
honest
right,
but
I
think
it's
the
creative
aspect
of
it
and
those
skills
that
we
learned
within
it
that
really
allow
us
to
think
outside
of
the
box
and
to
look
for
different
solutions,
so
the
it's
very
challenging,
but
at
the
same
time
there's
options
that
I
feel
that
in
other
systemic
careers,
it
just
doesn't
exist.
So
I'm
grateful
for
that.
B
That's
a
good
point
too,
and
there's
such
a
I
mean
there's
a
pretty
good
history
there
of
of
women
and
and
different
groups
of
artists,
creating
new
space.
When
there's
you
know
when
you're
talking
about
there's
so
many
different
Pathways
there.
So
sometimes
what
we
know
can
be
very
sort
of
excluding
is
what
is
a
very
narrow
view
of
like
what
the
like
kind
of
supposed
art
world
is,
which
is
slowly
shifting
as
well,
but
it's
like
rooted
so
deeply
in
a
lot
of
things
that
are
probably
not
going
to
see
radical
change.