►
From YouTube: EmpowerUs, sponsored by Chronosphere
Description
EmpowerUs, sponsored by Chronosphere - Moderator: Heather Joslyn; Speakers: Aparna Dhinakaran, Elenore Bastian, Sophia Vargas, Colleen Coll
Attendees who identify as women, non-binary individuals and allies are invited to join this special event and program, sponsored by Chronosphere. With women and non-binary individuals being minorities in tech, it’s especially important for these groups to know how to drive influence and gain respect and notoriety amongst their male peers. We will ask questions to our panelists (all women or non-binary) about how they have overcome the challenges of being a minority within their space, and how they have been able to avoid imposter syndrome.
A
B
Going
to
take
it
away
thanks.
Thank
you
very
much
thanks
thanks
gibbs
welcome
everybody.
I
know
that
you're
here,
because
you're
interested
in
our
subject,
which
is
not
just
imposter
syndrome,
but
also
how
women
can
carve
out
more
influence.
Women
and
non-binary
folks
can
cover
up
more
influence
in
the
tech
industry,
and
I
know
you're
here
because
you're
interested
in
that
and
also
you've
submitted
your
vaccine
card
and
your
id
and
your
birth
certificate
and
your
mother's
maiden
name
and.
B
So
thank
you
for
going
through
all
that
to
be
here
today.
So
one
thing
again,
my
name
is
heather
joslin,
I'm
the
new
stack.
I
was
previously
with
a
cloud
native
consultancy
called
container
solutions
and
I've
and
I've
learned
a
lot
about
the
tech
industry
in
the
last
few
years,
and-
and
one
thing
I
have
learned
is
how
few
women
and
non-binary
folks
are
in
it.
Even
though
we
are
women,
are
you
know,
half
of
the
workforce?
B
More
generally,
the
the
latest
stack
overflow
developer
survey
found
that
women
make
up
just
five
percent
of
professional
developers
around
the
world
and
in
the
us
they
make
up
just
over
nine
percent
of
of
developers
that
that
nine
percent
includes
non-binary
non-gender,
conforming
folks
as
well.
So
that's
pretty
pretty
you
know
startling,
and
so
what
we
want
to
do
is
talk
to
some
some
women
who
are
in
women
non-binary
people
who
are
in
the
tech
industry.
B
Who
can
talk
about
what
they
see
as
not
just
the
obstacles
which
we've
but
how
they
deal
with
it
and
what
they
would
recommend
and
and
what
and
as
we
mentioned
because
of
covet,
it's
a
little
trickier
but
we'd
like
you
to.
If
you
want
to
write
questions,
we're
going
to
we'll
be
gathering
them,
and
we
can.
We
can
answer
questions
at
the
end
of
our
discussion.
B
If
you
have
stories
you
want
to
talk
to
at
the
end,
we'll
have
a
little
bit
of
networking.
If
you
want
to
talk
to
people
here
about
you
tell
your
stories,
I'd
be
happy
to
hear
your
stories
as
well,
and
I'm
sure
our
panel
would
as
well,
but
we
won't
be
able
to
go
around
with
a
microphone
like
we
we
have
in
in
the
past,
and
things
like
this,
but
we're
really
happy
you're
here
and
I'm
gonna.
Let
have
each
of
our
panelists
introduce
themselves,
starting
with
sophia
vargas.
D
Hello:
everyone,
my
name,
is
sophia
vargas.
I
am
currently
a
program
manager
at
google
in
our
open
source
programs
office,
which
is
a
very
generic
title.
So
I
prefer
research
analysts
because
it's
a
little
bit
more
aligned
to
the
work
that
I
do
in
terms
of
looking
at
market
and
industry
trends,
as
well
as
looking
at
our
contribution
analysis
and
some
of
our
systems.
D
E
Call
hello,
everybody
happy
wednesdays,
it's
wednesday
right,
okay,
I
am
colleen
call.
I
have
been
with
the
new
stack
for
about
a
year
and
a
half
as
their
digital
marketing
manager
media.
Whatever
you
want
to
call
me,
I'm
in
events
and
I
handle
the
podcast
and
live
streams.
I
love
my
title,
but
I
always
get
it
wrong.
So
I'm
so
sorry,
my
apologies,
but
I've
been
in
tech
for
about
about
almost
five
years
and
it
before
that
I
was
in
hospitality,
but
it's
mostly
marketing
and
storytelling.
E
But
when
I
got
into
tech
it
was
just
one
of
the
most
amazing
challenges
and
it
was
in
biotech
and
just
working
with
software
developers,
and
just
yes,
just
getting
in
that
community
has
just
been
wonderful.
So
when
I
got
this
opportunity
with
the
new
stack
about
a
year
and
a
half
ago,
I've
just
been
amazed.
This
is
the
best
company
I've
ever
worked
for
and
the
culture
is
awesome
and
and
it's
very
challenging.
E
F
Yeah
hi
everybody,
I'm
eleanor,
I'm
an
engineering
manager
at
chronosphere
and
I
manage
the
platform
team.
So
the
platform
team
is
everything
about
how
users
interact
with
the
product.
So
we
have
support
the
web,
the
ui,
the
cli,
the
api
things
like
that
chronosphere
is
a
metrix,
an
observability
company,
but
I
was
a
web
engineer,
so
I
came
into
chronosphere
really
knowing
nothing
about
metrics
and
observability
and
data
and
yeah.
It
was
really
challenging.
I'm
excited
to
talk
about
it.
G
Yes
hi,
my
name
is
crystal
kirkland.
I
am
a
product
marketing
manager
at
a
rise,
ai
machine
learning
company,
and
I
was
a
part
of
the
initial
crew
at
arize.
My
background
lies
at
the
intersection
of
humanity
and
technology
from
the
school
of
information
at
uc
berkeley,
and
I
am
a
greeny
to
tech.
I've
only
been
in
it
for
a
year,
so
fresh
eyes.
F
Yeah
great
question,
so
I
think
so
I
had
a
web
background
right.
I
was
building
web
apps
and
then
I
moved
to
chronosphere,
which
is
all
about
data
and
observability
and
metrics,
and
I
really
knew
nothing,
and
so
I
entered
this
team
last
december
so
coming
up
on
a
year,
and
I
was
like
okay,
how
do
I
exert
influence
on
this
team
that
I'm
managing
and
I
was
like
you
know-
I
know
nothing
so
where
do
I
even
begin,
so
it
sort
of
really
started
was
like
okay?
What's
what
does
success?
F
F
I
need
to
be
successful
and
what's
realistic,
like
I
don't
need
to
be
an
expert
in
this
space
to
be
successful
as
a
manager,
I
can
focus
on
what
I'm
passionate
about,
which
is
people
and
culture
and
process
and
building
a
business
that
is
inclusive
and
fun
and
a
work-life
balance,
and
so
that's
what
I
am
good
at
and
that's
what
I'm
an
expert
in
and
sort
of
can
ramp
up
on
the
other
things
as
I
go.
So
that's
sort
of
how
I
overcame
that
obstacle
is
just
being
really
realistic
about
what
I
could
do.
F
E
E
I
thought
it
was
really
interesting
that
some
of
the
software
engineers
I
thought
were
like
way.
You
know
smarter
than
I
am
and,
and
they
want
to
learn
more
about
what
I
did
so
it's
like
a
give
and
take
so
and
you
you
can't
have
that
influence,
regardless
of
where
you're,
where
you're
from
and
where
your
background
is.
B
I
think
it's
worth
noting
too
that
just
one
thing
I
know
I
mean
cloud
native
is
such
technology
is
so
new,
and
I
mean
kubernetes
is
like
six
years
old
or
something
like
that.
I
mean
it's.
So
nobody
knows
everything
yet
and
just
like
to
keep
that
to
keep
that
in
mind
is,
is
how
I
have
found
helpful,
but
but
what
about?
Well?
Let's,
let's
talk
a
little
bit
about
imposter
syndrome.
First
of
all,
is
anyone?
B
Has
anyone
experienced
imposter
syndrome
felt
imposter
syndrome
at
some
point?
Well,
it's
almost
quite
a
quite
a
lot
of
people,
so
I
I
tweeted
this
more.
I
tweeted
today
that
last
night
I
was
scrolling
through
twitter.
Before
I
went
to
sleep
like
you
do
and
somebody
had
posted
like
all
the
wrong
people
have
imposter
syndrome,
which
I
thought
was
kind
of
profound
that
so
sophia
you
said
you
would
take
this
this
one.
D
D
It
really
hit
me
early
on
as
a
forester,
and
I
became
an
analyst
after
being
a
researcher
and
growing
expertise
in
a
topic
and
as
a
25
year
old
out
of
college,
I
was
put
in
the
room
with
people
that
were
twice
my
age
and
did
not
look
like
me,
and
there
was
this
moment
of
like
you're
the
expert,
and
you
don't
really
look
like
you're
the
expert
and
there's
kind
of
this
judgment.
Assuming
that
like
how
do
you?
D
How
can
you
tell
me
how
to
do
my
job
better
if
you
clearly
have
only
been
alive
for
half
as
long
as
me
and
never
worked
in
the
industry,
so
that
was
definitely
a
bit
of
a
bit
of
an
intense
feeling
where
you
just
don't.
You
have
to
develop
confidence
in
yourself
and
I
think
what
really
helped
was.
I
had
a
colleague
who
sat
me
down
and
was,
like
you
know
the
space
that
you're
covering
you're,
covering
the
data
center
market.
D
They
start
listening
to
you,
you
start
talking
about
it
versus
just
trying
to
get
their
attention,
so
it
was
a
lot
of
it
was
just
being
comfortable
in
in
my
own
knowledge,
and
I
think
I'd
say
for
anyone
in
the
room
who's
feeling
this.
If
you
do
your
research,
you
do
your
work
to
really
become
an
expert
in
the
thing
you
were
talking
about,
you
are
going
to
know,
you
are
going
to
know
more
than
you
think
you
do
and
you
have
to.
You
have
to
believe
it
and
be
confident
in
yourself.
B
F
And
I
think,
like
the
you,
be
confident
what
you
know
and
be
confident
in
your
perspective,
like
you,
are
self-identified
greeny
to
tech
and
that
new
perspective
is
fresh
and
it's
important
and
valid,
and
you
sometimes
raise
a
lot
of
things
that
you
know,
experts
or
more
senior
people
forget
about.
So
it's
definitely
about
what
you
know
and
definitely
about
your
perspective
as
well.
G
Actually,
you
know
I'm
kind
of
smart.
I
can
like
figure
this
out
and
I
am
capable
and
talking
to
other
people
especially
help
so
much
because
it
feels
like
such
like
an
individual
thing,
but
we
all
experience
it,
and
I
remember
talking
to
one
of
my
mentors
and
she
was
like
everyone
experiences
imposter
syndrome
and
very
you
are
likely
not
the
person
like
since,
since
everyone
experiences
it
you're
very
likely,
not
the
person
to
be
the
imposter
like
get
out
of
that
mindset
and
just
keep
moving
forward
and
it
may
feel
sicifian.
G
G
C
E
B
G
Absolutely
yeah,
so
I
think
backtracking
thinking
about
my
experience
as
a
woman
in
stem
and
just
in
life.
I
feel
like
women
are
very
often
pitted
against
each
other,
especially
in
like
these
niche
fields,
where
it
feels
like
there's
only
one
spot
for
the
token
woman.
And
so,
if
you're
in
it
with
other
women,
then
you
have
to
fight
for
it.
G
For
instance,
we
have
a
concerted
hiring
effort
to
hire
women
and
to
keep
that
in
mind,
and
we
also
have
like,
ladies
of
a
rise,
where
we
talk
to
each
other,
like
on
a
daily
basis
of
like
things
that
we
think
of
like
imposter
syndrome,
and
just
keeping
that
open
dialogue
of
like
we're
here
together
to
help
each
other
and
not
to
be
pitted
against
each
other.
And
that
that,
like
very
mindset
of
like
feeling
like
you,
have
a
team
and
that
you
have
a
spot
and
not
only
that
you
have
a
spot.
G
F
F
D
Yeah
mean,
I
think,
there's
there's
definitely
an
element
of
just
supporting
each
other
and
being
the
woman
who
sat
me
down
and
said
you
know
this,
and
that
was
how
she
was
able
to
allow
me
to
grow
in
my
own
role,
because
someone
else
that
wasn't
myself
was
confirming
that.
Yes,
in
fact,
you
can
do
this,
you
can
do
this
job
and
so
there's
an
element
of
just
support
verbally
either
directly
or
in
meetings.
D
Sometimes
it
being,
I
moved
into
a
new
role
recently,
and
I
just
noticed
that
my
my
managers
and
the
teams
around
me
are
incredibly
promotional
of
my
work
internally,
where
I
came
from
a
position
before
voice
having
to
self-promote
in
terms
of
saying
hey.
This
is
me,
this
is
what
I
do.
Are
you
interested?
Can
we
work
together
and
then
finding
a
new
role
where
the
team
around
me
was
actively
promoting
my
work,
pointing
it
back
to
me
and
putting
me
in
touch
with
others,
either
internally
or
externally,
networking
and
it
it
was.
D
I
mean
I
didn't
know.
That
was
a
thing
before
I
mean
I
did,
but
I
didn't
experience
it
before,
and
it
really
kind
of
changed.
My
mindset
of
how
I
don't
know
just
knowing
that
you're
on
a
team
that
supports
you
or
you
have
people
around
you
that
support
you
so
now
that
I've
experienced
that
I
know
it's
sort
of
on
me
to
make
sure
that
I
am
being
supportive
toward
my
peers
and
toward
women
and
folks
that
are
younger
than
me
in
their
career,
that
they
they
need
that
support.
They
need
that
confidence.
B
D
This
is
maybe
a
very
direct
experience
and
very
colored
by
my
former
role
as
an
analyst
at
forster.
Anything
that
I
wrote
belonged
to
forrester,
not
to
me.
So
if
I
was
going
to
cite
someone
else's
work,
it
was
kind
of
all
in
the
company.
There
was
never
really
I
mean
they
were
experts,
and
you
were
known
for
your
talks
and
for
your
expertise,
but
anything
that
you
wrote
or
became
content
like
I've
seen
my
reports
be
refreshed
by
other
people.
D
My
name
is
no
longer
on
them
anymore,
and
so
there
was
no
incentive
to
to
really
point
to
folks
unless
there
was
a
very
specific
question,
whereas
now
I'm
in
a
role
where
my
work
is,
can
be
referenced
back
to
myself,
and
so,
if
I
reference
someone
else's
work,
I
make
sure
that
they're
called
out
at
it.
It's
just
good
research
practice.
To
cite
where
your
thing
came
from,
but
to
say:
here's,
here's,
an
idea
or
here's
a
slide
or
here's
a
summary
of
this
paper
and
then
to
actually
write
where
the
paper
is.
D
Oh
someone
said
this,
and
I'm
going
to
iterate
on
it,
but
saying
like
oh
well,
sophia
had
had
brought
this
up
and
I
think
that
and
then
go
from
there
and
just
by
even
saying
my
name
means
it's
hard
to
do
in
big
settings,
but
into
small
conversations
it.
It
helps
attribute
those
ideas
back
to
the
person
and
even
though
they
might
only
say
one
thing
if
I've
now
referenced
them
a
few
other
times
in
the
conversation
they're
still
in
it.
D
They're
still
being
recognized
for
the
contribution,
even
though
it
might
have
just
been
that
one
point.
So
there
are
very
small
and
scalable
ways
to
make
sure
that
people
get
credit
for
the
things
that
they
do
and
even
a
small
reference
like
that
can
help
support
someone,
who's
new
or
developing,
to
be
seen
to
be
noticed
for
what
they
do.
B
I
think
I
think
that's
a
good.
That's
a
good
point.
That's
something
like
early
in
my
career,
like
I
had
a
couple
of
examples
of
like
an
idea,
someone
taking
like
a
supervisor
taking
credit
for
an
idea
of
mine,
and
so
I
feel
like
I've
always
been
I've
overcompensated
almost
in
it
like
like.
I
always
you
know,
I
have
a
conversation
with
somebody
and
then
I'm
talking
about
their
idea
and
like
I,
I
try
to
make
sure
that
I'm
crediting
them.
You
know.
E
B
It's
like
a
like
an
obvious
thing:
like
gravity
exists,
you
know
obvious
thing:
I
try
to
make
sure
that
they
get
credit.
So
that's
a
con.
That's
like
just
think
day-to-day
things
like
that
as
well.
That's
one
way
to
offer
support
how
many,
how
many
of
you
feel
have
ever
encountered
feel
you've
encountered
unconscious
bias
in
in
in
how
people
have
dealt
with
you?
B
E
Well,
this
is
an
interesting
story.
I
arrived
here
sunday
and
upon
check-in.
Everything
was
going
great.
A
gentleman
named
nicholas
went
smooth.
This
was
about
about
maybe
five
o'clock
in
the
evening.
Everything
was
going
smooth
and
then
there
was
another
gentleman
that
was
standing
right
by
me
and
he
saw
my
mask.
I
had
a
sequin
mask
because
you
know
that's
how
I
roll
disco
and
he
looked
at
me
up
and
down
it's
just
as
I
was
exchanging.
You
know
the
card
he's
like.
E
E
E
E
Do
you
manage
how
they
feel
about
you,
or
do
you
manage
how
you
feel
about
yourself
and
how
will
the
company
thrive
if
you
become
your
human
self,
but
you're
pushing
back,
because
when
something
somebody
says
something,
that's
not
good
and
it's
it's
unconscious
bias.
Do
you
push
back?
Do
you
take
that
risk?
Do
you
ruffle
feathers?
E
Do
you
prepare
for
the
white
flight
or
you
hope,
on
their
side
of
things
that
they
stay
perched
and
they
want
to
listen
and
get
that
opportunity
for
the
company's
sake
and
for
you,
because
you
are
a
colleague
they
have
your
back
we've.
Well,
I've
been
risking
this
for
a
long
time
and
I've
been
always
looking
for
that
culture.
That's
more
accepting,
but
I
have
to
push
back
because
if
I
don't
the
behavior
will
continue.
E
So
when
somebody
says
something
like
that,
if
they
did
say
something
like
that
in
the
workplace,
you
have
to
say:
hey,
you
know,
that's
not
really
cool.
Let's
talk
about
this,
but
you're
risking.
Will
you
be
considered
a
troublemaker
you
know
or
hostile
or
whatever
it's
just
you
are
taking
that
risk,
but
will
they
listen?
Will
you
be
heard?
E
The
most
women
in
general
are
the
least
respected
in
the
workplace
and
have
to
give
up
the
most,
but
for
some
freaking
reason,
black
women
are
always
down
a
little
bit
lower
and
that's
hard
for
me
to
accept,
because
I
know
who
I
am
and
I'm
a
human
and
I
expect
people
to
take
me
for
my
work
and
not
just
who
they
think
that
I
am.
But
if
I
don't
push
back
and
when
I
say
push
back,
it's
not
in
a
negative
sense.
It's
just
like
hey.
E
You
have
to
listen
to
understand
and
let's
talk
about
this,
I'm
taking
the
risk,
can
they
take
the
risk?
Can
they
get
over
their
fear
or
fear
of
being
threatened?
Take
that
opportunity
stay
perched,
listen
and
do
it
when
nobody's
watching
now
I
love
that
everybody's
diversity,
inclusion-
and
this
is
nice,
but
I
mean
come
on
this-
is
at
the
end
of
the
day
and
there's
barely
anybody
here.
E
So
I
want
to
have
those
conversations
and
I
want
people
to
not
be
afraid,
especially
what's
been
going
on
in
the
last
year
or
so
you
have
to
push
back
if
you're,
a
woman,
if
you're
non-binary
or
you
I
mean
you,
you
have
or
they're
going
to
keep
getting
away
with
it
and
it's
not
cool.
Yes,
you
are
risking
something,
you
might
risk
your
job,
but
you
have
to
push
back.
I
mean
well-behaved
women,
seldom.
E
E
If
you
are
not
ready,
then
maybe
you
know
we
need
to
have
that
conversation
and
whether
I
belong,
but
I
am
not
having
that
kind.
I
have
enough
to
do.
I
can't
manage
white
fragility
and
I
can't
manage
white
privilege.
I
have
to
manage
who
I
am
my
work
and
I
want
you
to
thrive
and
if
you're
my
colleague
and
you're
of
my
tribe,
you
will
you'll
see
who
I
am
because
you
hired
me
so
and
I
dealt
with
that
in
corporate
startups
just
everywhere
and,
as
you
know,
check
in
at
cubecon,
so
yeah.
B
G
Like
pushing
back
is
important
and
also
educating
and
creating
allies
is
also
important
so
that
you
kind
of
have
like
a
little
brigade
behind
you.
At
any
point,
I
was
talking
to
tammy
my
boss
about
this
question
and
she
brought
up
an
experience
she
had
when
she
was
at
adobe
and
she
was
like
with
a
client
and
the
client
was
walking
all
over
her
and
told
her
that
a
woman's
place
is
yeah.
G
It
was
just
like
I
don't
know,
tammy
excused
herself
and
she
initially
had
fought
back
and
then
just
realized
that
it
wasn't
worth
it,
but
also
that,
like
she
didn't
know
what
to
do
right
like
what.
What
are
you
supposed
to
do
in
that
situation,
she's
representing
her
company
right
so
like?
Is
she
supposed
to
just
be
a
punching
bag
and
after
the
fact,
her
and
her
colleague
had
a
conversation,
and
he
was
like
I'm
so
sorry
like
what
should
I
have
done
like?
What
can
I
do
for
you
like?
What?
G
How
can
I
remedy
this
and
what
should
I?
How
can
I
be
prepared
for
next
time
because
there's
going
to
be
an
inevitable
next
time
and
she
thought
that
was
incredibly
powerful
and
has
been
doing
that
ever
since
any
time
she's
like
in
a
situation
like
that,
then
with
the
people
around
her?
It's
about
educating
right,
it's
like.
G
A
B
D
B
E
Yeah
and
it's
important
not
only
for
yourself,
if
you
see
it
within
your,
where
you
work
or
even
outside
I
mean
be
that
person
I
mean
you
can't
just
I
hate
to
say
victim,
but
make
sure
part
of
who
you
are
and
where
you
want
to
get
to,
especially
if
you're
pushing
back
it's
like
you're
helping
others.
When
you
see
it,
you
don't
just
walk
away,
you
see
it
and
you
say
you
speak
up
that
ain't
cool
dude
that
is
not
cool.
Let's
have
this
conversation
and
and
that
person
didn't
deserve
to
hear
that.
E
E
D
D
I
I
think
I
can
be
timid
and
uncomfortable
scenarios
and
I
think
for
me
what
really
helped
was
having
a
strong
support
system
of
peers
or
I
could
sit
down
with
my
other
female
colleagues
and
say:
does
this
so-and-so's
behavior
bother
you
as
well
and
see?
Is
it
not
just
you?
Maybe
I
don't
want
to
be
the
overly
sensitive
one
but
like
if
people
are
being
uncomfortable,
they
might
not
always
voice
that,
and
so
saying
I'm
uncomfortable
in
a
smaller
setting
or
other
people
are
also
like,
I'm
also
uncomfortable.
D
This
type
of
behavior
makes
me
more
or
less
uncomfortable,
and
then
they
share
the
data
back
with
everyone.
So
you
know
those
were
feelings
in
the
room
with
you,
but
no
one
had
to
say
I'm
the
one
who
feels
this
way.
It
was
done
in
a
completely
safe
setting
because
they
were
removed
from
that,
but
they
could
still
be
completely
candid
with
things
that
made
them
feel
more
or
less
uncomfortable
and
then
for
other
folks.
That
would
have
never.
D
I
don't
know
it's
really
hard
to
confront
someone
when
it's
like
they're,
not
physically,
harming
you
but
they're,
making
you
uncomfortable
so
to
provide
a
setting
to
give
that
feedback
and
then
share
it
with
everyone.
So
they
know.
Oh
I'm,
not
the
only
one
who
feels
this
way
or
oh,
I
didn't
realize
people
felt
that
way
about
this
language
and
you
hope
that
they
change
their
behavior
as
a
result
of
it,
but
it's
a
way
to
also
share
it
without
putting
someone
on
the
defensive
too.
D
If
you
confront
someone
and
say
hey,
what
you
said
is
insensitive.
Their
immediate
reaction
is
is
to
be
defensive
because
you've
just
attacked
their
character,
but
if
you
show
it,
as
I
mean
personal
bias
here,
I'm
a
data
analyst.
If
you
haven't
noticed,
I
find
that
sometimes
data
can
be
that
intermediary,
where
it
doesn't
have
any
feelings.
It's
just
the
numbers
you're
looking
at
aggregate
across
a
number
of
people,
and
so
there's
there's
no
personality.
There's
no
personal
stake
in
the
game.
E
I
have
a
problem
with
the
word
defensiveness,
especially
when
you
know
you're
not
being
heard,
and
you
have
to
keep
sometimes
yeah
and
say:
hey,
hey,
hey,
that's
not
what
I
said.
That's
not
what's
been
going
on,
I'm
not
being
defensive.
I
just
don't
think
you're
hearing
me.
I
don't
think
you're
listening
so
yeah
I
mean
unfortunately,
sometimes
that's
what
we
do
when
we
push
back
we're,
you're,
being
defensive,
you're
being
more
emotional
yeah.
B
F
You
I
mean
this
happens
all
the
time
yeah
you're,
I'm.
I
think
you
just
be
like
and
back
to
me
so
like.
If
there's
anything
I
don't
I
I
will
be
an
idiot.
I
don't
care,
but
I
and
I
also
be
that
person
that's
like
and
it's
my
turn
now
and
like
I
just
bring
it
back
to
me
like
you
can
interrupt
me
all
you
want,
but
I'm
gonna,
it's
gonna
come
back.
B
B
F
D
A
E
B
B
B
E
You
know
experience,
but
I
mean
if
they
are
alone,
just
consider
the
risk,
and
you
have
to
make
that
that
decision
on
your
own
and
it's
not
going
to
be
easy,
but
at
least
you'll
have
it
on
file.
I
mean
we're
going
to
get
legal,
but
that
that's
what
you
you
do
I
say:
do
it
do
I
I
wouldn't
consider
I
mean
this
is
like
downright
it's
like
almost
it's
illegal.
It's
like
that's
abuse,
yeah,.
E
F
I
think
if
I
couldn't
go
to
hr,
I
would
ask
someone
on
my
team.
That
was
in
those
interactions.
If,
if
I
wasn't
alone
to
be
like
hey
watch
out
for
this
makes
me
uncomfortable,
can
you
just
help
me
when
this
happens
and
it
could
be
like
let's
go
to
the
bathroom
or,
like
you
know,
like
that's
disgusting
gross,
you
know
like
if
you
have
someone
else
speaking
up
for
you,
it
can
be
very
helpful.
E
B
C
E
Well
to
your
first
question:
I
would
definitely
push
back
because
if
you
don't
then
you're
giving
him
permission
to
keep
thinking,
it's
okay
and
yes,
you
are
risking,
but
if,
like
we
said,
if
you
get
people
behind
this,
I
mean
this
is
not
a
part
of
your
job.
It
just
isn't
or
have
that
conversation
hey.
I
hear
what
you're
saying
and-
and
you
know
this
is
experience,
but
this
is
how
I
feel
about
it.
E
I
know
that
sounds
you
know,
but
I
mean
that's
the
first
way
you
do
it
and
then
the
second
way
is
like
I
don't
think
you've
heard
me,
but
you've
got
to
keep
pushing
back,
and
then
somebody
might
hear
you
like
you
said
another
colleague
and
they're
like
you
know,
yeah,
that's,
that's
not
fair
at
all,
and
he
might
he
or
she
or
whatever
might
get
the
the
clue
that
yeah,
that's,
not
okay
and
they
probably
nine
times
out
of
ten.
No,
it's
not
okay.
B
One
one
thing
I
would
suggest
is
like
because,
in
addition
to
pushing
back
the
the
danger
is
that
you
push
back
and
then
it
becomes
somebody
else's
problem.
You
know
some
other
woman
in
the
office's
problem
or
some
other
person's
problem,
like
one
thing
to
suggest,
maybe
is
like
why
don't
we
rotate
this
duty
amongst
the
team?
Like
you
know
I,
you
know
this
person
orders
food
for
this
time
and
then
the
next
person
does
it.
I
mean
that's
just
like
saying
like
I
feel
like
it's
always
my
job
and
it's
not
my
job.
F
I
think
sometimes
pushing
back
is
hard
because
you're
like
identifying
like
I
have
a
problem
with
this
and
like
you,
don't
want
to
be
like.
I
have
a
problem
right
because
then
you're
a
problem,
but
sometimes
I'm
just
like
you
know,
doordash,
does
this
or
like
seamless
or
something
like
that
like
offering
like,
like
you
know,
domino's
delivers
like
what
are
we
going
to
do
here
like
just
like,
introduce
a
joke
or
something?
F
G
D
That's
good
yeah
because
I
always
think
of
like-
and
I
think
that
maybe
not
just
in
this
example
but
anytime,
like
someone
asked
you
to
do
something:
it's
always
okay.
What
am
I
going
to
not
do
because
I
have
a
full
bookly
book
schedule.
So,
if
you're
asking
me
to
take
time
out
of
my
day,
like
you're,
going
to
have
to
tell
me
what
I'm
not
going
to
do
for
you
and
it's
one
of
those
things
where
it's
like,
you
force
them
back
in
the
prioritization,
how
do
they
want
to
spend
their
employees
time?
D
And
maybe
it's
I'm
I
mean
there.
I
think
maybe
a
mixed
approach
here
potentially
would
be
valuable,
but
I
I
do
agree
with
that
as
well,
because
I
think
it's
it's
very
practical.
You
hired
me
to
do
a
job
and
by
asking
me
to
do
something
else.
You're,
reducing
my
productivity,
so
is
that
a
conscious
decision.
E
D
B
Like
I'm
meeting
our
new
stack
team
is
here
today,
and
I've
met
most
of
them
for
the
first
time
this
week
in
person,
and
we've
worked
together
for
months
so
yeah,
so
I
mean
that's
a
an
issue
that
more
people
are
dealing
with.
Do
you
do
any
of
you
have
ideas
for
how
to
find
support
amongst
other
women
in
your
organization
when
you're
I've.
E
E
I
mean
I
do
miss
this
networking,
but
when
you
I
mean
you,
don't
have
a
choice
and
you
can
find
some
really
really
good
meetups
virtually
and
remotely,
and
they
can
help
you
in
so
many
ways,
and
you
won't
feel
alone,
somebody
in
germany
or
could
probably
have
the
same
issues
or
experiences
that
could
help
you,
and
that
I
mean,
even
though
it's
probably
something
like
maybe
a
different
culture,
but
find
them
they're
they're
everywhere,
as
if
you
I
would
love
to
help.
If
I
could.
G
I
was
like
what
do
you
guys
learn
and
then
we
had
like
a
great
conversation
about
it
and
it
in
fact
helped
all
of
us
and
we
also
developed
like
quite
a
bit
more
trust
and
there
seemed
to
be
like
a
lot
more
transparency
and
just
like
understanding
amongst
all
of
us
that
we're
helping
each
other-
and
it
still
is
really
difficult
because
we're
still
all
scattered
across
the
country
and
even
across
the
world.
But
it
takes
quite
a
bit
of
proactive,
concerted
effort
to
create
that
community.
G
But
it
matters
immensely
to
me
and
to
my
team.
So
we
put
that
effort
in
like
we
do
lunches
every
two
weeks,
like
a
ladies,
have
a
rise
lunch
and
we
like
have
these
side
conversations
and
we
talk
about.
You,
know
femininity,
and
we
engage
in
conversations
that
matter
deeply
to
us
and
it
takes
effort
and
it
takes
time
away
from
you
know,
whatever
else
we're
supposed
to
be
doing
for
a
rise,
but
it
also
creates
this
immense
sense
of
transparency.
Solidarity
that
is
immeasurable.
D
D
You
have
your
meeting
schedule
and
I
like
to
have
a
productive
meeting
and
sticking
to
the
agenda
so
like
only
five
minutes
of
chit
chat,
but
you're
missing
all
those
side,
hallway
conversations
where
you
really
get
to
know
people.
So
during
the
pandemic,
I
became
a
lot
more
proactive
with
actively
scheduling
coffee
meetings
and
just
like
just
to
meet
people
and
say,
like
hey
you're
on
my
team,
we
should
have
a
one-on-one,
even
though
we
don't
have
an
agenda.
D
B
B
Women's
happy
hour
of
all
of
the
and
all
the
female
employees
were
invited,
and
we
we
sort
of
just
you
know,
talked
over
it
had
like
a
talk
of
resume
like
I
think
we
may
have
played
like
some
online
games
or
something,
but
it
was
just
it
was
nice.
It
was
just
like.
It
was
also
like
in
the
middle
of
the
winter,
the
pandemic
winner.
So
it
was
kind
of
nice
to
just
have
a
have
a
virtual.
B
G
Oh,
the
activities
are
great
like
one
time
we
all
just
ordered
each
other
tequila,
that's
a
good
idea,
and
then
we
played
like
telephone,
but
with
drawing,
I
I'm
forgetting,
like
the
name
of
it,
but
it's
it's
like
a
free.
What
was
that?
Is
it
pictionary?
It's
not
pictionary.
It's
like
on
it's.
It's
some
website
crab
something
yeah
yeah,
yeah
yeah,
oh,
it's,
oh
yeah
like
a
shot
at
tequila
and
that,
like
you'll,
be
best
friends.
B
E
C
E
E
You
know
say
hey.
I
noticed
that
this
is
you
know
what
you
do,
I'm
looking
for
for
something
within
that
field.
How
how
would
you
approach
this?
You
you
make
them
like?
Oh
hey,
this
person
thinks
that
my
skills
and
my
knowledge
is
pretty
important,
and
somebody
has
asked
me
I'm
like
oh
yeah,
I'll
jump
on
that
like
in
a
second
before
you
do
the
ass,
because
it
will
make
them
once
you.
You
highlight
their
skills
and
knowledge
as
a
fan
or
a
groupie
or
whatever
they
want
to
help
you.
E
So
maybe
you
have
that
type
of
approach
by
just
just
without
just
guessing
hey.
I
need
my
mentor.
I
need
you
to
mentor
me
because
I
need
this.
I
need
I
need.
I
need
just
just
yeah,
just
just
just
talk
to
them
about
who
they
are
and
then
give
them
the
comp.
Well
the
compliment
and
say
hey:
this
could
help
me
with
what
I
want
to
do
and
to
develop
and
grow,
and
it
always
works
always.
G
Yeah
I
like
the
framing
of
reaching
out
to
like
a
subject
matter
expert
and
then
identifying
the
gaps
in
your
knowledge
and
being
available
for
having
like
a
conversation
that
really
dives
into
you,
know
what
you
need
and
how
the
other
person
can
help
you
and
then
like
how
you
potentially
can
reciprocate.
Yes,.
D
D
D
Where
sometimes
there'd
be
an
opening
of
like
hey,
like
I
saw
you're
doing
this,
can
I
can
I
help
you
with
it?
I
I've
been
thinking
about
something
similar
in
finding
for
basically
identifying
collaboration
opportunities
that
allow
you
to
get
to
know
the
person
better.
They
work
with
you.
They
understand
what
you
can
do
and
your
relationship
builds
from
there,
because
I
think
there's
definitely
this
sense
where
you
mentorship
doesn't
just
happen
overnight.
It's
definitely
a
relationship
that
you
develop
with
people
and
you
might
not
necessarily
know
your
their
mentor
until
later.
D
It
just
happened
to
me
a
few
times
or
I
in
hindsight
I
was
like
oh
yeah.
She
was
my
mentor
but,
like
I
didn't,
never
really
put
that
together,
because
we
were
just
working
on
projects
together,
but
developing
a
relationship
and
support
and
trust
between
us.
So
I
think
just
there's
there's
an
element
of
putting
yourself
out
there,
but
also
just
asking
can.
Can
I
help
you
with
something?
Can
I
learn
from
you
and
just
to
build
a
relationship.
D
Have
as
many
different
kinds
of
people
review
something
as
possible
because
you
might
not
see
it
because
you
wrote
it
and
even
I've
written
things
that
later
someone's
pointing
something
out
and
it's
like.
Oh
yeah,
that's
a
problem,
and
I
just
I
was
too
in
the
weeds
and
couldn't
see
it.
So
just
it's
a
little
scary
to
share
your
things,
sometimes
because
it
can
be
scary
to
get
feedback.
But
it's
it's
always
worth
it,
because
other
people
will
see
things
that
you
don't.
B
E
Sounds
like
gaslighting
to
me,
yeah
he's
trying
to
make
you
responsible
for
his
behavior.
I
will
I
mean
yeah
I
mean
it's
like
dating.
I
mean
a
little
bit,
but
it's
not
your
I'll,
keep
saying
this.
It's
not
your
job
to
manage
his
privilege
and
to
get
validation
from
you,
even
though
he
says
it.
But
oh,
that's
not
what
I
meant
for
you.
You
know!
E
No,
you
have
to.
You
can
do
whatever
you
want
to
do,
but
I
would
say
you
have
to
keep
pushing
this.
This
is
not
acceptable
behavior
and
if
I
do
sound
like
I'm,
you
know
miss.
You
know
whatever
it's
just
because
I'm
not
doing
it
for
me,
I'm
doing
it
for
the
rest
of
my
company,
because
that's
just
not
right
and
you
can
we
can't
it's
tiring,
managing
other
people's
privilege,
I'm
I'm
over
it.
I
really
am
they
have.
I
mean
they
have
to
know
how
to
act.
B
B
E
People's
intentions,
that's
I
mean
that's
interesting,
but
again
you
can't
manage
it.
They
have
to
know
they're
grown-ups.
They
know
I
mean
the
world.
Is
I
mean
we're
talking
about
it?
You
there's
no
more
excuses.
You
can
hide
behind
your
privilege
after
5
pm
go
home
or
you
really
want
to
work
at
it.
E
Have
the
opportunity
to
take
the
opportunity,
listen,
learn
and
do
it
when
no
one's
watching
I'm
going
to
keep
saying
that
don't
do
it
in
front
of
people
just
because
you
think
you're,
a
superhero
and
you're
an
advocate
when
you're
really
not
just
do
it
and
it
the
the
perks
of
it
when
people
actually
the
culture
were.
I
am
right
now,
it's
just
it's
it's
a
it's
a
relief,
I
didn't
use
the
f-word,
but
it
is.
B
So
any
any
other
questions
this
has
been.
This
has
been
great,
I
mean
I
feel,
like
we've
gotten,
had
good
good
questions,
and-
and
I
just
want
to
thank
our
thank
our
panel
sophia
colleen
eleanor
crystal,
and
thank
you
to
chronosphere
for
for
sponsoring
this
and
gathering
us
all
together,
and-
and
thank
you
for
being
here
so
after
this,
just
if
you're
welcome
to
network
and
talk
and
tell
it,
you
know,
share
your
own
stories
and
and
I'll
be
around
for
a
while,
too
is.