►
Description
Christopher D. Connors is the bestselling author of Emotional Intelligence for the Modern Leader and The Value of You. He is a keynote speaker and executive leadership coach who helps leaders increase their emotional intelligence, prioritize results and build thriving organizations. Christopher works with executives and leaders at Fortune 1000 companies and with organizations spanning many industries. His writing has appeared in CNBC, World Economic Forum, Thrive Global and Medium. Emotional Intelligence for the Modern Leader, is one of the top selling emotional intelligence books in the world. Christopher is happily married to his beautiful wife and is the proud father of three amazing, rambunctious baseball-loving boys. He lives in Mount Pleasant, South Carolina.
https://www.chrisdconnors.com/
A
But
we're
a
minute
pass,
so
I'll
get
us
started
and
then,
as
people
join
he'll
just
jump
in
where
they're
here
so
welcome
everybody.
This
is
another
learning
speaker
series
that
I'm
hosting
today
with
Christopher
Connors.
This
discussion
is
part
of
a
series
that
I've
been
hosting.
This
quarter
called
what
is
emotional
intelligence
and
Christopher
is
our
third
speaker
on
emotional
intelligence.
B
A
Can
find
already
written
in
the
meeting
agenda
and
then
after
we
go
through
those
three
questions,
we
will
open
up
to
a
q,
a
for
team
members
on
the
call.
So
as
we're
chatting,
if
you
have
like
a
follow-up
question
or
a
new
question,
you
want
to
ask
Christopher,
feel
free
to
add
that
to
the
agenda
and
we'll
get
through
as
many
as
we
can
at
the
end
of
the
call
I
think.
A
That's
all
I
have
I'm
just
going
to
put
an
ask
out
there
for
everyone
to
please
mute
if
you
aren't
muted,
already
or
I
will
mute
to
you
here
and
great
okay.
So
let
me
read
this
quick
bio
for
Christopher
and
then
we'll
get
started
so
really
excited
to
have
Christopher
here.
Christopher
Connors
is
the
best-selling
author
of
emotional
intelligence
for
the
modern
leader
and
the
value
of
you.
Christopher
is
a
keynote
speaker
and
executive
leadership.
Coach
who
helps
leaders,
increase
their
emotional
intelligence,
prioritize
results
and
build
thriving
organizations.
A
C
Thank
you
so
much
Samantha,
thank
you
for
having
me
and
and
Samantha
told
me,
even
before,
a
really
good
turnout
expected
for
today.
So
that
always
means
a
lot
to
know
that
there
are
people
willing
to
show
up
to
to
listen
and
try
to
get
better
based
on
what
I
have
to
say.
So.
Thank
you
all
for
for
being
here,
I
appreciated,
yeah.
A
Great
thanks
for
being
here,
Christopher,
okay,
so
I'll
ask
this
first
question
and
we
can
chat
about
it
for
a
little
bit.
So
can
you
speak
a
bit
about
what
emotional
intelligence
or
EQ
is
and
how
it
shows
up
differently
at
work,
especially
in
an
all
remote
environment
as
compared
to
how
it
might
show
up
in
our
relationships
outside
of
work.
C
Sure
I'll
start
with
really
the
the
textbook
definition,
which
was
actually
40
years
old,
so
Dr
Peter,
saliva
current
president
of
Yale
University
and
one
of
his
research
Associates
Dr
John,
D
Mayer.
They
coined
what
I
think
is
the
best
definition
of
EQ.
It's
the
ability
to
recognize,
understand
and
manage
our
emotions
and
it's
the
ability
to
recognize,
understand
and
then
influence
the
emotions
of
other
people.
C
C
It's
the
ability
to
recognize,
understand
and
manage
our
emotions.
So
really
the
recognition
and
the
understanding
is,
is
the
self-awareness
piece
that
that's
that
ability
and
I'll
talk
a
little
bit
more
about
self-awareness,
but
obviously
the
manager
is
the
self-management,
the
self-regulation,
how
we're
both
processing
our
emotions,
but
how
we're
adapting
to
certain
situations
as
well,
really
the
second
part
of
it
being
that
influencing
piece
is
where
all
of
the
other
components
of
EQ
come
in.
So
empathy,
motivation,
social
skill
and
a
lot
of
people
really
when
we
think
about
leadership.
C
C
C
So
what
do
I
mean
by
that,
the
C
being
in
terms
of
how
we
communicate
the
O
being
the
way
that
we
identify
and
recognize
opportunities,
the
r,
how
we
build
relationships
and
the
D
being
the
decision-making
component
of
it?
So
all
of
us
are
going
to
have
that
kind
of
foundation
for
that
personally,
but
that
is
thinking
about
and
finding
time,
even
in
our
weeks
and
our
days
strategically
to
think
about.
Well,
how
are
we
showing
up
that
way
professionally
to
go
back
to
the
to
really
the
latter
part
of
your
question
Samantha?
It's!
C
So
thinking
about
all
the
different
channels
of
communication
that
we
have
in
a
remote
environment,
we
might
be
using
a
tool
like
slack
or
email,
or
some
kind
of
instant
message
function,
text
phone
thinking
about
what
each
situation
dictates,
with
teams
with
individuals
of
how
we
go
about
communicating
and
when
we
choose
to
use
that
to
what
effect
part
of
working
remotely
and
thinking
even
more
about
emotional
intelligence
as
well.
It's
it's
the
self-care
component,
and
what
did
we
learn?
C
A
In
my
day,
we
work
with
this
thing
called
the
non-linear
work
day,
and
so
rather
than
saying
I
sit
at
my
desk
from
eight
to
five
I
can
sit
at
my
disc
from
eight
to
ten
and
then
I
go
on
a
walk
and
then
I
move
things
around.
Based
on
how
my
day
looks,
and
so
I
think
that
that
really
connects
like
how
gitlab
Works
remotely,
but
the
thing
I
wanted
to
follow
up
on.
A
If
you
don't
mind
talking
a
little
bit
more
about,
it
is
the
communications
piece,
because
earlier
this
year
we
had
another
speaker
come
in.
Who
talked
about
understanding
and
interpreting
tone
in
asynchronous
communication.
Like
the
examples
you
were
sharing,
like
slack,
we
use
mostly
slack
and
we
communicate
within
git
lab,
and
then
we
use
email
as
well,
mostly
for
like
external
Communications
I'm
wondering
if
you
can
speak
a
little
bit
about
how
the
way
that
we
interpret
or
assume
tone
in
text
might
influence.
Like
our
emotional
response
to
the
work.
That's.
C
A
fantastic
question:
I
just
come
back
to
you
know
just
a
simple
maxim
of
you
know,
assuming
positive
intent
and
I
think
this
is
where
we
get
into
the
Nuance
of
social
skill,
but
this
is
this
is
why
I
do
the
work
that
I
do
I
say:
let's,
let's
get
our
hands
dirty?
Let's
talk
about
some
of
these
things.
You
know
there
could
be
a
situation
where
someone
was
late
with
a
deliverable,
or
someone
had
maybe
said
something
previously.
C
That
upset
us,
and
our
first
instinct
is
to
say
I'm
going
to
maybe
come
with
something
a
little
passive
aggressive
in
this
slack
response
in
this
email
response,
and
sometimes
it
really
is
as
simple
as
a
simple
thought,
and
that
simple
thought
is
this
biggest
piece
of
advice
that
I
give
to
people
in
those
situations
is
stop
and
reflect.
Don't
just
send
something
just
because
slack
or
some
level
of
instant
messaging
kind
of
seems
to
dictate
them.
We
just
immediately
hit
send.
Sometimes
the
smartest
thing
that
we
can
do
is
actually
stop.
C
Take
a
two
minute
break.
Get
up
come
back
with
a
clear
pair
of
eyes.
Maybe
it's
a
five
minute
break.
Maybe
it's
a
30
minute
break,
you
get
the
point,
but
you
know
I,
I,
think
part
of
social
skill
and
and
being
a
a
Savvy
communicator
is
trying
to
remove
any
negative
emotions
when
they
come
up
from
potentially
damaging
a
relationship,
and
that's
I
think
what
we're
talking
about
here.
I
I,
have
the
privilege
I
I,
get
to
work.
C
A
confidential
relationship
is
one
of
the
biggest
technology
companies
in
the
world
and
I'm
coaching
people
from
there
every
day
around.
You
know
not
just
the
verbal
communication
but
the
written
communication.
No,
don't
you
know
some
things
that
we
may
in
the
moment
objectively.
Think
about
and
say.
Well
you
know:
don't
never,
you
know
throw
your
teammate
under
the
bus
as
the
expression
goes
or
don't
make
someone
look
bad
in
front
of
other
people,
but
don't
do
it
in
a
one-on-one
setting.
You
know
so
much
about
what
emotional
intelligence
for
me
is
about.
Is
empathy.
C
It's
social
skill
and
I.
Think
that
the
art
of
a
famous
quote
when
we
think
about
with
everything
people
don't
care
how
much
you
know
until
they
know
how
much
you
care.
Is
it
corny?
Yes,
so
one
of
my
favorite
quotes
because
the
the
message
behind
it
is
it's
not
often
as
much
the
point
we're
trying
to
make
or
the
what
of
what
we're
communicating
it's
the
how
it's,
how
we
communicate
so
to
go
back
to
the
written
form
of
slacker.
C
As
you
said,
the
asynchronous
communication,
it's
taking
a
break
from
the
pressures
of
the
day.
It
could
just
be
one
minute
getting
up
coming
back
with
a
clear
mind
and
a
clear
perspective
being
mindful
empathy
is
all
about
putting
ourselves
in
someone
else's
shoes
write
it
don't
hit,
send.
What
would
that
person?
Think
of
this?
Could
they
possibly
interpret
anything
negatively
from
this
I
I
want
to
try
to
be
more
neutral
tone,
I.
C
Sometimes,
if
you're
upset,
maybe
at
a
result
and
you're
not
upset
at
an
individual,
maybe
it's
okay,
to
try
to
accentuate
that.
It's
okay
to
accentuate
passion
and
positive
emotions,
but
in
the
written
form
you
know
just
something
to
think
about,
but
otherwise
I
I,
just
try
to
say
relationships
are
the
most
important
capital
in
business.
We
should
always
be
of
the
mindset
of
trying
to
build
new
ones
and
nurture
existing
ones.
So
what
are
some
of
the
things
that
go
into
that?
It's
again
assuming
positive
intent?
A
Yeah
thanks
for
that,
that's
great
I'll
share
one
little
thing
before
I:
ask
this
next
question,
but
in
a
previous
call
on
emotional
intelligence,
one
of
our
team
members.
His
name
is
Darren
Murph,
I'm,
not
sure,
if
he's
on
the
call
today,
but
he
had
a
really
great
little
like
sound
bite.
I
think
that
describes
that
well-
and
he
said
connection
before
content
and
so
like
making
time
every
time
you're
having
a
live
conversation
and
probably
asynchronous
to
connecting
to
see
how
people
are
doing
before
moving
into
the
work
stuff
can
be
really
powerful.
A
Great
well
thanks
for
that
I'm
going
to
put
a
plug
in
to
remind
people.
If
you
have
questions
for
Christopher,
you
can
add
those
to
the
bottom
of
the
agenda
and
we'll
get
to
that
once
we
go
through
these
questions.
Also,
thank
you
to
those
who
are
helping.
Take
notes
in
the
agenda
really
appreciate
that.
A
C
C
C
It's
not
just
about
I
wish.
They
got
to
know
me.
What
often
we
want,
and
we
desire
in
Connection
in
certain
respects
is
wanting
to
get
to
know
more
about
that
other
person
as
well.
So
a
big
part
of
connection
and
emotional
intelligence
is
the
ability
to
tell
stories
I'm
going
to
give
a
little
bit
of
a
answer.
It's
not
my
own
research
came
from
a
book
called
talk
like
Ted
that
was
actually
written
about
a
lot
of
the
most
famous
Ted
Talks
of
all
time
of
all
things.
C
So
we
think
of
this
is
from
Aristotle
of
ethos,
logos
and
Pathos
and
there's
a
point
to
be
made
here,
the
ethos
piece
being
you
know
we
might
talk
about
our
credentials
in
the
same
way,
Samantha
that
you
introduced
me
at
the
beginning
of
our
time.
Together
we
might
talk
about
the
things
that
we've
accomplished
or
what
we've
done.
C
The
logos
is
using
data
and
statistics
and
information
to
make
a
point
which
I'm
going
to
do
shortly
here,
but
the
P,
but
the
pathos
part
of
it
is
the
emotional
connection,
60
almost
two-thirds,
two-thirds
of
the
way
and
I
believe
and
I've.
You
know
found
this
in
the
work
that
I
do
with
organizations
over
and
over
again,
we
walk
away
from
a
lot
of
interactions.
C
We
may
not
always
remember
every
statistic,
or
we
may
not
always
remember
that
individual's
credentials,
but
we
do
remember
the
way
they
made
us
feel
the
emotions
that
we
experienced
in
those
interactions,
the
power
of
Storytelling,
the
power
of
getting
to
know
someone
and
so
on
face
level
in
a
lot
of
instances.
We,
we
may
sometimes
think
well
what
that
that
doesn't
necessarily
have
to
do
with
the
results
that
we're
looking
to
drive
or
how
we're
necessarily
trying
to
innovate
technologically,
but
those
are
the
ingredients
that
build
camaraderie
and
and
bring
people
together.
C
The
other
point,
a
study
that
was
done
over
15
years
ago.
They
did
a
study
that
this
organization
called
talentsmart,
did
a
study
of
33
workplace
skills
and
out
of
all
of
the
skills
that
they
surveyed
the
number
one
skill
for
enduring
long-term
success
in
the
workplace
was
emotional
intelligence.
You
know,
58
of
respondents
said
that,
and
it
ended
up
being
the
number
one
choice.
So
what
what
I'm
always
Keen
to
say
is
intelligence?
C
Iq
is
what's
going
to
get
your
butt
in
the
seat,
it's
all
of
the
things
that
come
back
from
an
EQ
standpoint.
The
pillars,
the
way
we
communicate
opportunities
relationships
decision
making
it's
those
things
that
enable
us
to
really
take
it
to
the
next
level
and
endure
in
terms
of
our
own
career
Mobility,
our
own
ability
to
just
drive
results
and
and
be
effective
in
the
role
that
we're
in
for
the
long
term.
A
Yeah,
thanks
for
sharing
that
we
have
find
the
where
this
is
in
the
handbook,
but
at
gitlab
we,
our
values.
We
use
an
acronym
credit
and
we
have
like
a
hierarchy
of
those
values
and
the
reason
I
ask
this
question
is
that
results
is
like
at
the
results
is
the
r
and
credit,
but
it's
at
the
top
of
the
hierarchy
of
our
values
and
what
it
kind
of
sounds
like
to
me.
C
That's
exactly
right
and
and
I
love
the
values
that
you
listed.
I'm,
someone
I've
my
first
book,
Is,
All,
About,
core
values
and
I-
think
that
you
know
that
that
is
what
builds
the
culture
and
would
encourage
everybody
to
come
back.
I
mean
I,
I
part
of
the
Genesis
of
why
I
even
wrote
my
first
book,
I
I
work.
My
start
in
my
business
career
after
graduate
school
in
the
management,
consulting
sector
and
I
worked
at
a
firm.
C
You
know
top
firm
that
you
know
we
were
literally
evaluated
and
assessed
on
our
adherence
to
the
core
values
of
the
company,
but
it
all
it
made
us
all
better
things
like
teamwork,
Integrity,
loyalty,
client
service.
You
know
things
of
that
nature,
but
you
know
the
more
that
we
as
individuals
Buy
in
to
you
know
the
vision,
the
vision,
the
values,
but
that
it's
you
know
we're
getting
time
with
Leaders
with
other
individuals
to
espouse
those
values.
C
C
Only
as
good
as
the
inclusivity
of
ideas
that
come
from
the
bottom
up,
as
well
as
the
top
down
a
very
important
distinction,
Innovation,
is
born
from
inclusivity
of
ideas
right,
so
the
the
way
that
I
I
when
I
think
of
it
in
this
context,
is
going
back
to
my
little
connect.
Accord
analogy
use
the
O
as
an
opportunity
feel
empowered
to
speak
up
and
share
ways
that
you
can
make
the
company
better
and
you
can
make
the
people
around
you
better.
C
You
said
it's
not
just
about
the
results.
The
culture
enables
and
creates
the
results,
I
think
to
go
back
to
your
original
question.
It's
the
reason
why
so
many
organizations
harp
on
the
importance
of
having
a
great
culture,
great
culture,
builds
camaraderie
builds
great
teams,
brings
people
together,
increases
motivation,
so,
as
we
think
about
how
does
that
pertain
to
all
of
you?
C
You
know
think
about
the
impact
and
never
underestimate
the
impact
that
you
can
have
on
all
the
other
people
that
you
relate
to
I
have
a
you
know
of
them
seeking
mine
to
put
their
needs
before
your
own
kind
of
like
a
servant,
leadership,
type
of
approach,
which
correlates
a
lot
back
to
EQ.
But
you
know
that
that
empathy,
piece
of
caring
about
others,
putting
yourself
in
their
shoes
doing
benefit
you
know
doing
good
for
the
benefit
of
others.
You
know
having
that
mindset
from
a
people.
Standpoint
is
a
real
unifying
threat.
A
C
Sure,
yeah
and
and
coming
back
here
to
EQ
so
I
the
really
top
three
things
number
one
I
will
begin
with
the
self-work
component
of
it.
If
you
will
so
it
is
how
we
know
our
own
strengths
and
skills.
It's
how
we,
you
know
again
recognize
and
understand
the
way
that
we're
feeling
understanding
and
I
make
an
important
point
to
say:
emotions
are
not
good
and
bad
they're,
positive
and
negative
is
I.
C
C
Want
to
be
able
to
give
a
couple
of
tools
that
I
use
a
lot
with
organizations
that
I
work
with
so
again,
three
things
with
self-awareness,
but
we're
staying
in
the
lane
right
now
for
skills
strengths,
knowing
thyself.
If
you
will
understanding
and
recognizing
the
stimuli
we
face,
but
one
way
to
build
self-awareness
is,
is
I,
I
recommend
this.
It's
an
assessment,
it's
called
strengths,
finder
some
of
you
may
already
be
familiar
with
it
or
have
maybe
taken
it
and.
C
Nothing
from
this
I
assure
you
I,
don't
get
a
penny
from
Clifton
or
anything,
but
it's
a
tool
that
I
use
a
lot
in
my
coaching,
the
more
that
we
know
the
things
that
we
do
really
really
well
like.
There's
there's
just
a
a
wealth
of
literature
out
there
around
of
academic
and
scientific
research
around
the
importance
of
accentuating
and
knowing
our
strengths,
leaning
into
the
things
that
we
do
really
really
well
every
day.
C
So
the
more
we
know
what
we're
really
really
good
at
and
talented
out
personally
and
professionally
really
really
helps
us,
but
the
second
part
of
self-awareness
comes
from
feedback,
which
is
often
why
we
hear
so
much
about
the
importance
of
having
you
know,
conversations
with
managers
with
our
peers
with
some
of
our
direct
reports.
But
feedback
is
often
what
leads
to
the
biggest
breakthroughs
in
our
own
self-awareness.
C
Some
of
that's
gonna
naturally
be
built
into
review
cycles
and
assessments,
but
from
an
emotional
intelligence
standpoint
of
increasing
self-awareness
I
always
encourage
the
people
that
I
work
with
to
proactively.
If
it's
not
being
offered
proactively,
seek
out
feedback,
be
willing
to
have
the
quote:
unquote,
tough
or
challenging
conversations
which,
by
the
way,
are
tough
and
challenging.
Let's,
let's
not
kid
ourselves
right.
Those
are
not
easy
conversations
in
certain
respects
to
learn
what
we
need
to
do
to
improve
for
what
we
could
do
to
get
better.
C
The
last
thing
and
I
can
go
into
a
little
bit
more
of
the
how-to
on
this
with
all
of
you
and
I
want
to
be
able
to
do
that.
But
the
third
thing
is
really
it's:
how
we
perceive
others
to
see
us.
So
how
do
we
achieve
that?
It's
kind
of
recognition
in
the
moment,
it's
being
able,
in
the
moment
to
read
the
room
if
you
will
or
to
take
pauses
and
reflect
some
of
the
times.
That's
that's
challenging
in
a
one-on-one,
fast-paced
type
of
conversation,
we.
C
A
E
E
We
we
call
that
getting
handbooked
and
or
like
sending
somebody
in
a
book
link,
and
sometimes
it
can
just
come
across
as
sort
of
off-putting
or
in
a
corrective
tone,
especially
over
slack
and
not
you
know,
you
don't
get
the
yeah
the
tone
of
the
voice
and
everything
that
comes
with
that.
So
I
was
just
curious.
How
you
know
we
can
achieve
that
outcome.
You
know
when
we
do
see
inconsistencies
with
our
values
without
coming
across
as
negative
or
behavior
correcting
communication
thoughts
on
that.
C
Yeah
I
think
my
my
short
answer.
Long
answer,
the
short
answer
is
just
go.
The
extra
mile,
so
I
I
can
see
I
can
perceive
how
it
could
be
perceived
by
some,
maybe
as
off-putting
if
the
instant
responses,
here's
the
link
to
the
handbook,
because
there's
not
really
a
lot
of
handling.
If
you
will
with
that
response,
and
so
what
do
I
mean
when
I
say
go
the
extra
mile,
I
I,
think
prefacing.
C
Our
response
by
acknowledging
context
acknowledge
context,
explain
the
purpose
so
Simon
sinek,
very
famous
wrote
a
book
called
you're
talking
about
the.
Why?
So?
Why
are
we
doing
what
we're
doing
the
purpose
behind
it
so
context
purpose
but
put
a
personalized
touch
on
it,
and
this
is
what
I
I
didn't
quite
get
into
as
much
depth
about,
but
is
often
what
I'm
speaking
about
these
days
is
I
talk
about
a
strength
called
individualization
that
is
informed
by
all
of
the
data
points.
That
We
Gather
from
interacting
with
someone
now
Conley.
C
The
second,
the
first
time,
I've
ever
seen
you
in
meeting
you
right,
but
in
a
different
life,
maybe
you're
in
a
different
future.
If,
if
you
and
I
had
already
interacted
on
several
different
occasions,
I'm
now
informed,
consciously
and
subconsciously
by
all
of
the
different
Communications
interactions,
the
relationship
building
time
that
we've
had
together,
where
I'm
going
to
try
to
personalize
the
way
that
I
communicate
with
you
in
response.
So
thinking
about
the
way
we
want
someone
else
to
feel
for
having
interacted
with
us
last.
E
B
C
Say
on
that
I'm
not
blind
to
the
fact
that
all
of
this
is
balanced
out
by
what
time
and
time
is
often
our
biggest
obstacle.
So
we
may
think-
and
maybe
some
are
thinking
as
I
as
I
say-
that
things
are
moving
so
fast.
We
don't
have
the
time,
I
think
about
just
an
extra
you
know
the
extra
mile
could
just
be
15
seconds
context
and
purpose.
You
type
that
up
kind
of
quickly,
but
you
wrap
it
with.
If
this
doesn't
make
sense.
C
You're
welcome
to
reach
out
to
me
and
let's
connect
and
talk
about
it,
a
little
bit
more
I'm
trying
to
help
you
I
want
to
be
able
to
help
you
out
here
and
so
I
think
that
I
go
back
to
that.
Assuming
positive
intent.
I
think
if
somebody
knows
that
we've
gone
the
extra
mile,
we've
tried
to
individualize
that
communication,
even
if
it's
over
Slack
and
that
they
can
see
that
we're
genuinely
trying
to
help
and
we're
offering
that
help
in
an
actual
written
form.
A
Yeah
Conley
had
to
drop
off
to
join
another
call,
but
I
think
that
that,
like
what
you
just
said
about
context
being
important
and
also
seeing
it
as
like
an
opportunity
to
build
a
relationship,
there's
like
that
opportunity
again
and
seeing
how
you
can
support
this
other
person
and
then
I
also
think
that
there's
like
the
flip
side
to
it
all,
is
that
and
I
think
it
was
maybe
Sean
in
the
chat.
There's
like
a
you
know,
adjacent
conversation
going
on
Sean.
Do
you
want
to
add
something.
B
Yeah
I
was
gonna,
say
that's
exactly
the
extra
mile
I
feel
like
if
you're
gonna
go,
find
the
link
and
send
it
to
someone.
You
can
go
that
extra
for
two
minutes
and
just
say:
hey
I
found
this
link.
This
is
how
it
helped
me
I
wanted
to
share
it
with
you.
If
someone
just
sends
me
a
link,
I
appreciate
it,
but
I
don't
know
what
the
context
is
and
so
to
your
point
about
assuming
positive
intent.
A
lot
of
your
emotions
can
be
like.
Thank
you,
but
I
wish.
B
A
She
just
wants
me
to
go,
read
and
totally
figure
this
out
on
my
own,
so
I
think
it
depends
on
and
that
kind
of
takes
some
work.
You
have
to
like
find
out
how
long
this
person's
been
here
right
like
that,
may
be
going.
The
extra
mile
isn't
adding
fluff
to
your
slack
message,
but
it's
like
checking
their
slack
profile
and
saying:
did
they
just
join
gitlab
yesterday
or
have
they
been
here
for
a
year
right?
They
have
more
context
just
having
been
here
to
know
what
a
handbook
link
means.
C
You're,
exactly
right,
I
think
that
the
10-year
matters
tremendously,
but
the
other
and
the
other
thing
just
to
you,
know
the
relationship.
You
know
you
may
all
you
already
have
that
relationship
with
JC.
You
may
not
have
it
with
Maria
and
that's
where
I
you
know
so,
yes,
I
think
we're
all
on
the
same
page.
But
it's
two
great
points
there
10-year
time
at
the
company,
but
also
do.
A
D
I'm
on
hi
Christopher,
hi,
Samantha
I
find
this
topic
fascinating.
So
thank
you
for
being
here.
My
question
is:
can
you
speak
a
little
bit
to
how
boundaries
tie
into
emotional
intelligence,
because
I
think
that
when
we
have
a
high
level
of
empathy
which
a
lot
of
git
lovers
do
and
then
we're
also
super
highly
results
oriented
it
can
be
a
hard
thing.
So
would
like
to
hear
your
thoughts,
foreign.
C
D
C
Sure
sure,
no
and
it's
let
me
let
me
think
about
this
because
in
right
this
second
so
I
mean
so
when
you
say
boundaries,
I,
I,
guess,
I!
Think
if
it
conventionally,
in
terms
of
just
our
roles
and
responsibilities
that
we
might
have
in
that
situation,
and
that
some
people
may
feel
that
they
need
to
take
on
more
in
a
certain
situation.
C
You
know
I
I,
guess
I,
don't
know
if
this
is
perfect,
where
my
mind
is
going
right
now
in
the
moment
is
just
thinking
of
maybe
in
that
situation
acknowledging
the
situation.
You
know
that
that
kind
of
takes
self-awareness
to
kind
of
acknowledge
a
situation
for
what
it
is
and
maybe
hit
the
reset
around.
You
know
what
the
role's
responsibilities
become
in
that
situation,
given
someone's
work,
responsibilities
or
one
team
member's
work
responsibilities
over
another
and.
C
Again,
I
I'm
happy
to
kind
of
expand
on
this
a
little
bit
more
for
now.
I
just
wanted
to
point
out.
I
mean
one
of
the
most
important
leadership.
Lessons
that
I
learned
in
the
workforce
was
used
to
have
a
leader
who
always
used
to
say,
and
what's
the
most
important
thing
a
leader
can
do,
is
provide
clarity
and
so
I
think
sometimes
just
calling
and
recognizing
and
understanding
your
situation
for
what
it
is.
C
D
C
I
think
it's
seeing
the
big
picture
right,
we
get
you
know
and
I
I
I
feel
I
could
go
in
other
directions
with
what
you
presented.
I
mean
that
again,
maybe
if
you're
constantly
operating
under
that
environment,
it
leads
to
burnout.
It
leads
to
stress
it
leads
to.
Why
are
certain
people
seemingly
taking
on
responsibility
a
lot
more
frequently,
perhaps
than
others
but
I?
Think
the
more
you
know
bandwidth
can
be
communicated
the
more
these
things
are
raised
to
the
surface
level
and
that
they
are.
C
You
know
the
importance
that
the
copper
I
think
the
famous
I
think
it's
George,
Bernard,
Shaw
famous
quote.
You
know
the
biggest
problem
in
communication
is
sometimes
assuming
that
the
conversation
has
taken
place,
and
so
you
know
again
I
think
from
a
self-awareness
standpoint
for
the
success
of
teams.
You
can
never
communicate
enough
up
front
to
make
sure
that
everybody
does
have
role
Clarity
in
specific
situations
and
that
that
is
reassessed
so
that
certain
people
aren't
being
stretched
too
far,
I
mean
that
is
ultimately
I.
Think
an
empathetic
understanding.
A
C
C
Let
me
answer
this
by
going
through
what
I
often
use
as
a
formula
kind
of
like
a
success
formula,
if
you
will
and
some
of
the
coaching
work
that
I
do
I
talk
about,
you
know,
directness
plus,
Candor,
plus
empathy
plus
authenticity
equals
victory,
so
being
direct
and
just
saying
I,
you
know,
Jennifer
I
would
love
to
get
your
feedback
on
my
performance
on
the
recent
project.
Would
you
be
willing
to
connect
at
some
point
over
the
next
two
weeks,
so
in
the
line
of
work
that
I'm
in
as
a
coach
I'm
very
accustomed?
C
F
C
And
having
the
confidence
and
self-assuredness
to
know
that
that's
a
common
conversation
so
I
think
being
direct
asking
an
open-ended
question
trying
to
make
yourself
available
to
that.
You
know
you're
asking
someone
to
give
you
their
time,
making
yourself
available
for
it
in
the
medium
that
is
mutually
agreed
upon.
That
would
be
best
for
each
of
you.
F
I'm
still
here
so
for
the
international
audience,
I
know
that
half
of
our
team
members
don't
or
speak
a
language
other
than
English
at
home
and
art
actually
internationally
based
and
a
lot
of
our
idioms
and
idiosyncrasies
and
cultural
norms.
Don't
necessarily
translate
really
well.
How
can
we
help
each
other
be
more
empathetic
across
some
of
the
virtual
tools
that
we
use
and
then
the
real
language
barriers
that
we
do
face
on
a
daily
basis,
yeah.
C
I
think
it
you
know
in
the
moment
here.
My
answer
to
that
question
is
to
perhaps
have
the
humility
as
as
individuals,
especially
if
we're
in
a
situation
where
we
may
not
understand
some
of
the
nuances
of
somebody's
culture
that
we
humbly
ask
to
get
to
know
that
a
little
bit
better
right
that
we
may
want
to
learn.
I
I
work
on
a
daily
basis
with
people
from
all
over
the
world
and
when
situations
dictate
it
I
show
a
great
interest
in
wanting
to
learn
more
about
some
of
those
nuances.
C
C
More
of
that
information
but
we'd
be
making
someone
else
feel
better
by
going
into
that,
and
so
you
know
I
talk.
Let
me
ask,
let
me
answer
this
in
a
little
bit
of
another
way
too
I
talk
about
this
all
the
time
in,
in
my
coaching
conversations,
there's
different
ways
that
we
can
ascertain
or
try
to
get
help.
I
might
say
to
you
at
the
end
of
this
call
or
something
I
might
say.
You
know
hey
guys
if
there's.
C
C
C
If
you
find
yourself
in
that
situation,
reach
out
to
me
because
I
can
actually
connect,
you
so
think
about
that
when
we're
maybe
more
informed
which
comes
from
relationship
building
which
comes
from
individualization
and
how
we
connect
with
someone
I
think
that
that
applies
both
in
terms
of
results
that
we're
driving
Innovation
interpersonal
reaction
relationships
that
we
have
we're
always
trying
to
gather
data
points.
We're
always
trying
to
pick
up
new
information
about
someone
in
an
effort
to
improve
that
relationship
and
help
them.
C
So
you
know
we
might
be
able
to
hearken
back
to
previous
conversations
or
previous
experiences
that
we've
had
and
if
we're
in
a
position
to
offer
help
instead
of
just
generically
saying
yeah,
you
know,
let
me
know
if
I
could
help
you
a
little
bit
more
with
that
I
didn't
understand
what
you
said.
We
might
be
more
specifically
informed
to
say
you
know:
I
noticed
this.
C
You
and
I,
just
on
a
total
side,
tangent
sidebar
I
actually
did
a
lot
of
work
earlier
in
my
career,
setting
up
orientation
and
onboarding
programs
for
internal
at
the
time
being
here
in
the
U.S
International
based
staffs
from
different
regions
of
the
world
and
I.
Think
that
you
know
one
thing
that
is
part
of
I
believe
the
inclusivity
piece
of
when
we
think
about
diversity,
equity
and
inclusion.
C
Is
you
know,
having
a
curiosity,
having
a
desire
to
want
to
learn
more
about
someone's
culture
to
want
to
learn
more
about
who
they
are
and
where
they're
from
it's
going
to
help
us
to
relate
to
them?
But,
frankly,
it's
just
cool.
It's
just
fun.
I
think
it's
fun
to
learn
more
about
individuals
from
from
where
from
where
they're
from
and
just
to
get
to
know
them
better.
A
Okay,
yeah
thanks
Christopher
cool
to
see
this
conversation
kind
of
like
wrap
back
up
with
building
trust
between
team
members,
because
it
feels
like
that's
like
such
an
underlying
theme
with
emotional
intelligence,
we're
just
a
minute
over
time.
So
I
just
wanted
to
say
thank
you
Christopher
for
being
here
and
chatting
with
our
gitlab
team
and
thanks
to
everyone
who
took
time
out
of
your
very
busy
end
of
quarter
week
to
come
and
join
this
conversation.
It's
been
really
great
to
learn
from
you
all
and
I
appreciate
you
all
being
here.