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From YouTube: L&D Live Learning: Receiving Feedback
Description
On 2020-02-25 we had three calls to cover Receiving Feedback. This video is of the first session and contains the content covered by Jace Bandur, Learning & Development Generalist, and Q&A covered by Carolyn Bednarz, People Business Partner.
Guidance on Feedback Handbook Page: https://about.gitlab.com/handbook/people-group/guidance-on-feedback/
Agenda: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1k5ja-8qJRMnguVOUOOsMUAQ2PEbXiuDBsbpstJPkSEo/edit?usp=sharing
Slides: https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1yziTxwnAHD6vA1deSPf4DCwGLNYRijAmHiYcdoAxOmo/edit?usp=sharing
A
Perfect,
alright,
so
welcome
everyone
to
our
receiving
feedback
session.
Today,
I
am
JC
and
I'm
on
the
learning
and
development
team
here
at
lab,
so
I'll
be
taking
us
through
the
content
today,
and
then
we
will
have
a
people
business
partner
on
each
call
to
us
to
assist
with
the
Q&A
portion
and
on
this
call,
we'll
have
Carolyn
to
assist
with
that
and
with
that
we'll
go
ahead
and
jump
in
so
for
getting
started.
A
If
everyone
could
open
a
browser
and
go
to
Metacom
and
enter
the
code,
three
seven
one:
three
zero
four
we're
gonna
have
some
interactive
slides
in
this
session.
So
if
you
could
just
pull
that
up,
that
would
be
great.
We'll
have
reminders
on
those
slides
when
we
get
to
them.
But
if
you
have
it
ready
to
go,
that
will
be
perfect.
A
A
Receiving
feedback
is
an
important
skill
to
have
not
just
at
work
but
in
life
in
general
and
receiving
constructive
and
even
positive
feedback
can
be
a
little
difficult.
So
we're
gonna
run
through
some
items
today
to
help
with
that.
So
first
we're
gonna
talk
about
difficulties
of
receiving
feedback.
Then
we'll
jump
into
the
importance
of
it
and
then
we'll
run
through
some
guidelines
as
well.
A
Answer
the
question:
what
makes
receiving
feedback
difficult
and
your
answer
doesn't
have
to
be
a
philosophical
or
research-based
just.
Why
is
it
difficult
for
you
in
particular,
and
your
answers
will
all
be
anonymous,
so
no
one
will
be
able
to
see
what
you
specifically
have
written.
So
if
everyone
could
enter
in
some
answers.
A
A
Your
feedback
giver
does
not
look
like
this,
with
the
big
teeth
in
the
red
eyes.
But
if
that's
the
case,
we
will
have
a
giving
feedback
session
coming
up
in
a
few
weeks.
So
hopefully
we
can
help
with
that
as
well,
and
then
feedback
can
be
both
positive
and
constructive,
and
here's
some
a
chart
from
some
research
on
how
much
we
want
to
give
feedback
and
how
much
we
want
to
receive
it.
So
you
can
see
we
were
like
kind
of
comfortable
with
giving
positive
feedback.
We
really
don't
want
to
give
constructive
feedback.
A
We
do
really
want
to
hear
the
positive
feedback,
but
even
more
than
that,
we
want
to
hear
the
constructive
feedback,
because
we
want
to
know
how
to
improve,
even
though
it
can
be
painful.
To
hear
and
also
this
chart
doesn't
mean
that
you
should
only
give
constructive
feedback.
Please
still
get
positive
feedback,
but
just
so
you
can
see
what
we're
comfortable
giving
as
far
as
feedback
goes
and
what
we're
comfortable
or
what
we
want
to
receive.
A
And
then
a
few
things
to
consider.
First
of
all,
feedback
is
really
a
gift,
if
someone's
giving
you
feedback
take
that
as
a
compliment,
because
they
really
feel
you're
worth
their
potential
discomfort
in
giving
the
feedback
and
they
want
you
to
improve
and
people
should
be
giving
feedback
with
positive
intent.
So
keep
that
in
mind
and
then
also
giving
feedback
can
be
as
difficult
as
receiving
it
so
or
even
more
difficult
than
receiving
it.
Because
you
know
the
giver
of
feedback
doesn't
want
to
hurt
the
receivers,
feelings
and
things
like
that.
A
So
just
a
few
things
to
keep
in
mind
and
then
the
importance
of
feedback,
here's
kind
of
a
list
of
different
things,
but
feedback
really
is
the
most
powerful,
yet
most
underused
tool
that
we
have
and
it's
powerful
as
it
helps
people
on
track,
get
on
track
and
it
serves
as
a
guide
to
assist
people
and
knowing
how
they
and
others
perceive
their
performance.
So
just
an
example
of
what
working
without
feedback
is
like.
So
it's
like
you're
setting
out
on
a
road
trip
and
you
don't
have
a
map.
A
You
don't
have
a
compass,
you
don't
get
to
use
your
phone,
your
map
on
your
phone,
your
GPS
in
your
car
and
you
get
on
the
road
and
there
are
no
road
signs.
So
you
have
to
figure
out
how
to
get
to
point
from
point
A
to
point
B
without
any
sort
of
guidance,
and
so
that's
what
working
without
receiving
any
type
of
feedback
is
like
and
people
who
don't
get
feedback
tend
to
be
either
overly
self-critical
of
themselves
or
overly
self-congratulatory
so
yeah.
A
This
is
just
because
they're,
relying
on
just
events
that
they
personally
see
and
not
necessarily
anyone
telling
them
what
went
well
or
what
did
it
so
just
something
to
keep
in
mind
and
then
we'll
run
through
guidelines
for
receiving
feedback
that
we
have,
and
these
are
all
laid
out
in
the
handbook
as
well.
So
you
can
go
back
and
reference
them.
The
first
one
is
assume
positive
intent
and
so
no
matter
what
feedback
you're
receiving
just
always
assume
that
the
or
the
giver
feedback
is
coming
to
you
with
a
positive
intent
of
I.
A
Want
you
to
get
better
I
want
you
to
know
how
you
can
improve
so
always
keep
that
in
mind
and,
secondly,
be
an
active
listener,
and
this
one
is
really
hard
because
our
brains
really
want
us
to
run
away.
So
just
take
the
time
to
slow
down,
take
take
in
what
they're
saying
and
so
that
you
can
be
reflecting.
A
Think
a
big
piece
of
this
like
for
myself
personally
I
need
time
to
process
things.
So
I
personally
won't
have
questions
right
away.
I
will
need
to
think
about
it
and
then
come
back
and
ask
questions
and
that's
to
really
find
you
don't
have
to
have
questions
right
away,
but
they
can
be
really
helpful
to
clarify
you
know
the
feedback
that
you're
receiving
and
how
you
can
improve
so
ask
questions
and
then
show
a
procedure
she
ation,
so
they
say
thank
you
and
mean
it
like.
We've
talked
about
it's
kind
of
uncomfortable
for
both
parties.
A
So
thank
the
feedback
giver
for
taking
the
time
to
give
you
feedback
and
then
six
is
reflect
on
the
feedback.
So
take
the
time
to
reflect
on
what
you've
heard
and
then
think
about
the
action
you
want
to
take.
There
can
be
a
pitfall
of
over-engineering
or
overdoing
your
response,
so
it
can
also
be
helpful
to
maybe
find
a
third
party
and
get
some
feedback
from
them
on
if
they've
experienced
this
behavior
from
you
as
well,
and
if
they
have
any
tips
for
you
from
what
they've
experienced
and
then
lastly
is
make
a
decision.
A
So
what
are
the
most
impactful
actions
that
you
can
take
and
prioritize
those?
It's
also
important
to
note
that
when
you
receive
feedback,
you
don't
necessarily
have
to
take
action.
That's
your
decision
and
it
might
be
something
where,
after
you
have
reflected
on
it
and
you've,
maybe
gotten
a
few
other
opinions
that
it's
not
something.
That's
a
common
theme
for
you,
so
you
might
decide
not
to
take
action.
That's
totally
a
decision
that
you
can
make
and
then
just
know
that
after
you
make
a
decision,
there
will
probably
be
some
sort
of
follow-up
either.
A
A
A
I'm
I
haven't
made
the
question
live
yet
so
you
can't
answer
yet
but
you're
in
a
meeting
and
you
accidentally
say
hey
guys
after
the
meeting
your
colleague
reaches
out
to
you
and
tells
you
that
you
said
guys
during
the
meeting
so
for
all
intensive
purposes
of
this
call
just
assume
that
they
gave
you
really
great
feedback
like
it
was
one
on
one.
All
of
that,
like
we
don't
have
questions
about
how
they
gave
the
feedback.
It
was
really
great.
So
how
do
you
respond
to
them?
A
A
A
A
Perfect
cool,
okay,
so
we'll
go
on
to
the
next
scenario,
and
this
one
is
being
a
remote
company.
You
all
know
we
use
text
or
written
communication
a
lot
and
your
tone
can
sometimes
be
misinterpreted.
So
someone
gives
you
the
feedback
that
the
tone
they
inferred
from
a
written
message
you
sent
them
seemed
aggressive.
What
do
you
do
next
as
the
feedback
recipient
again
we're?
Assuming
that
the
feedback
was
given
to
us
really
well
in
a
one-on-one
situation,
and
all
that
so.
A
A
Yeah,
these
are
all
really
good
answers,
so
take
some
time
to
go
through
these
when
you
have
a
chance
and
awesome,
so
just
a
review
of
what
we
covered
today,
we
went
over
difficulties
of
receiving
feedback,
the
importance
of
it
and
guidelines
for
receiving
feedback,
and
with
that
we'll
leave
the
rest
of
the
time
for
some
Q&A,
so
I
will
hand
it
over
to
Carolyn
to
kind
of
facilitate
that.
But
if
you
have
questions
you
can
go
ahead
and
put
them
in
the
agenda
and
we'll
run
through
those.
B
I've
been
in
a
leadership
course
in
the
past
and
an
acronym
that
the
facilitator
taught
me
was
SBI
situation,
behavior
impact,
so
there's
lots
of
ways
to
say
it.
But
that
was
the
kind
of
the
terminology
that
resonated
with
me
so
always
being
sure
when
you're
providing
feedback,
whether
it
is
constructive
or
positive,
to
be
able
to
point
to
a
specific
time
and
place
that
you're
referencing
with
that
person,
so
being
able
to
say
hey
when
I
saw
you
in
the
meeting.
You
said
this
versus
making
a
very
broad
statement
such
as
like.
B
Maybe
the
percent
of
their
perception,
how
others
perceive
them
or
how
I
perceive
them
or
how
that
could
impact
their
future
growth
of
the
company
or
their
their
ability
to
make
a
sale
or
it's
from
perform
better
in
their
job
or
whatever
the
case
may
be,
but
some
sort
of
impact
on
it
on
them
and
how
that
behavior
relates
to
that
so
SBI
situation.
Behavior
impact
was
something
that
I've
learned
and
used
for
years.
You
can
even
use
it
with
your
with
your
family
in
your
children.
If
you
have
vents.
C
D
Yeah
sure
someone
was,
how
do
you
explain
your
intent,
but
also
acknowledge
the
other
person's
feelings,
so
for
me,
like
I
have
ADHD
and
it
isn't
it
easy
for
me
to
get
my
thought
across
since
I
think
in
pictures.
So
to
me
it's
like
a
flipbook
right
like
me,
and
you
had
that
little
cartoon
flip
book
and
it
changes.
That's
how
my
thoughts
are
so
it's
difficult
for
me
to
when
I
say
something.
D
Sometimes
it
comes
across
as
too
direct
and
people
think
that
my
intent
is
not
as
good
as
it
should
be,
but
it's
just
very
difficult
for
me
to
think
about
it.
Cuz.
It
takes
me
about
five
or
six
minutes
to
get
there
so
within
that
first
minute
and
a
half
is
just
difficult
for
me
to
I
guess,
acknowledge
someone's
feelings
and
say
like
I'm.
Listening
to
you,
I
hear
you
but
I'm
trying
to
explain
this.
So
a
lot
of
people
at
home
trying
to
explain
your
intents.
But
it's
important
to
me.
Sorry.
D
C
D
C
Well,
I
think
verbalizing
what
your
intern,
what
your
internal
dialogue
is
I
think
is
always
a
good
tactic
and
you
don't
have
to
respond
to
feedback
in
the
moment.
I
think
that
that's
something
that's
a
little
bit
of
a
misperception
I
think
you
can
say:
hey
I'm,
just
gonna
try
to
process
this
and
I'll
follow
back
up
with
you
at
a
later
time,
because
there
is
I
think
naturally
an
emotional
response,
and
sometimes
you
do
need
time
to
think
about
hey.
C
You
know
what
was
my
intention
when
I
you
know
was
behaving
in
a
certain
way.
If
they
were,
you
know,
delivering
feedback
in
an
SBI
model
or
how
do
I
want
to
change
my
behavior
in
the
future?
You
might
not
know
right
on
the
spot,
so
I
think
it's
okay
to
say:
hey,
you
know,
I!
You
know
thank
you
for
the
feedback,
I'm
gonna,
think
about
this
and
I'll
get
back
to
you.
C
D
It
is
I've
been
doing
that
lately
because
usually,
when
I
respond,
it's
emotional
right
away,
so
I.
Try
that
that,
because
yeah
I
don't
want
to
snap
it
somewhere,
like
they'll,
say
like
oh,
we
work
really
hard
on
this
team
and
I'm
like
what
do
you
mean
I,
don't
work
hard
and
then
I'm
gonna
like.
Let
me
take
a
step
back
like
give
it
an
hour
or
two
and
then
come
back
and
talk
to
them.
C
And
I
think
I
think
as
long
as
you're
saying
to
them:
hey,
I'm
gonna,
thank
you
for
the
feedback.
I'm
gonna
do
justice
and
get
back
to
you.
I!
Think
that
that's
that's
totally
fine
and
actually
I
recommend
that,
especially
if
the
feedbacks
complex
and
you
and
you
do
feel
you
know,
I'm
getting
yourself
getting
emotional
I,
think
you
have
to
really
think
about
the
feedback
and
and
digest
it
before
you
can
respond
accordingly.
So
thank
you.
Yeah.
D
E
So
I've
tried
to
find
something
about
this
in
the
handbook,
because
I
thought
there
is
something
about
difference
in
culture
and
language,
but
it
wasn't
able
to
do
that.
So,
there's
sometimes
like
a
cultural
difference
in
language
or
like
some
cultures,
are
very
direct
but
phrasing,
something
where
others
are
not,
and
it's
trying
both
ways
it's
just
like.
Sometimes,
for
example,
for
me,
is
in
European
culture.
A
person
is
I'm.
Very
direct
I'm
sometimes
feel
bad
when
I
phrase,
feedback
and
I
would
like
to
ask.
C
A
Yeah
I
just
added
a
link
and
I
know:
we've
talked
about
probably
a
while
ago
about
the
culture
map,
it's
a
book
and
it
can
be
helpful
and
just
understanding
different
cultures
and
how
they're
different
and
like
respond
to
things
differently.
So
I'm
just
trying
to
I
thought
there
was
a
link
to
the
culture
map
in
the
handbook,
but
I'm
not
finding
it
over.
Here.
C
F
It
goes
to
my
boob
and
actually
there's
a
new
book
come
out,
I
think
which
he
collaborates
as
wix's.
It's
aren
Maier
and
it
collaborates
a
bit
Netflix
to
write
on
there
go
straight
up
side
notes,
so
I
know,
but
look
it's
seven
scales
and
it's
it's
explaining
how
different
countries
have,
for
example,
need
high
context
versus
low
context,
so
I
think,
for
example,
and
in
Asian
cultures
like
China,
for
example.
F
There's
a
very
you
need
very
high
context
from
your
cultural
perspectives
to
understand
things
so,
for
example,
that
you
greet
people
differently
and
in
the
Netherlands,
for
example,
it's
very
low
context.
So
we
give
a
lot
of
context
while
we're
speaking
so
you
don't
have
to
know
about
a
lot
of
context
to
understand
in
terms
of
feedback.
There's
also
an
interesting
part
in
it
and
on
receiving
a
lot
of
like
how
you
used,
employees
are
or
she
pears
are
in
receiving
feedback.
F
So
some
cultures
are
used
to
giving
a
lot
of
negative
feedback,
while
some
cultures
are
less
used
to
giving
receiving
a
lot
of
negative
feedback
or
giving
more
positive
feedback,
for
example.
So
it's
yeah,
that's
I.
Did
you
something
I
cannot
explain
it
like
very
well
in
like
five
minutes,
but
I
would
just
recommend
to
read
the
book
for
that
part
of
the
book.
C
Thank
you
another
thing
that
I
I
found
helpful
because,
while
there
are
cultural
differences
for
sure
I
think
each
individual
person
is
a
different
human
being
and
some
people
are
okay
with
direct
feedback
and
appreciate
it
and
want
that
and
then
some
some
people
may
you
know,
want
more
time
to
digest
what
may
want
feedback
in
a
certain
format.
So
I
found
asking
after
I've
delivered
feedback
asking
for
feedback
on
my
feedback.
Delivery.
I
know
that
that's
like
kind
of
complex,
but
it
it
seems
to
work
I.
C
Think
when
you
say
how,
like
I,
wanted
to
provide
you.
This
feedback
is
this,
is
this
is
the
way
I
delivered
it
or
a
way
that
works
for
you?
Or
would
you
prefer
a
different
way
for
me
to
communicate
that
you
know
whether
it
be
you
do
want
me
to
deliver
feedback
and
writing
first,
so
you
can
digest
and
we
can
discuss
after
or
how
did
you?
How
did
you
perceive
the
feedback
that
I
that
I
gave?
C
G
Did
sorry
she
meant
to
get
off
mute
there.
I
wasn't
sure
if
you
were
using
the
hands,
but
I
was
just
thinking
that
what
I
do
as
a
manager
is
hopefully
before
I
get
into
a
situation
where
I
need
to
deliver
or
receive
feedback.
I
meet
with
the
people
on
my
team.
I
I
just
talk
about
kind
of
how
they
like
to
work
and
how
they'd
like
to
work
with
me,
so
that
maybe
I
have
a
chance
to
adjust
my
style
when
the
time
comes,
and
you
can't
do
that
with
everybody.
G
Obviously
in
the
whole
company,
but
I
think
that
there's
a
pretty
good
chance
that,
if
we're
giving
or
receiving
feedback
it's
with
most
the
time,
it's
going
to
be
within
that
smaller
group
of
our
teams,
so
learning
in
advance
how
people
communicate
how
they
like
to
work.
Learning
more
about
them
and
their
style
allows
you
to
adapt
your
style
some
and
then
you
can
hope
that
they
are
doing
the
same
thing
and
to
me
that's
always
been
the
best
chance,
because
you
don't
have
a
lot
of
real
good
success.
G
Probability
of
knowing
a
thousand
different
ways
to
communicate
with
a
thousand
different
people,
but
if
everybody
has
the
mindset
that
you
know,
we
understand
that
these
things
can
can
be
different
if
we
do
assume
positive
intent
and
I.
Think
that
gives
you
a
better
chance
to
succeed
in
the
feedback
setting.
I
Guess,
thank
you
well
actually,
for
me,
it's
when
you're
receiving
feedback
on
a
long
period
of
time.
So,
let's
say
at
least
I
can
talk
in
my
experience
in
programming,
where
no
matter
kind
of
what
you
do,
you
will
constantly
receive
ongoing
feedback
from
other
developers
and
on
the
long
period
of
time,
even
if
you're
improving
all
the
time
and
everyone
acknowledged
your
progress
or
not
everything's
going
well
at
some
point.
It
can
feel
like
you're
always
receiving
a
feedback
and
that
there's
never
a
moment
where
you
can
be
up
here.
I
You
go
now
I
feel
great
I
feel
like
I'm
in
the
kind
of
more
comfortable
position,
and
so
in
the
past.
I
experienced
this
in
my
previous
employment,
where
I
had
to
kind
of
figure
out
a
way
for
myself
to
accept,
but
it's
just
a
way
that
the
way
that
things
go
but
I
was
wondering
if
there
are
like
tools
or
more
different
ways
of
seeing
that
problem.
I
Say
it's
different
dynamic.
It
can
be
like,
like
a
technical
like
you're,
always
working
at
different
aspects,
so
the
feedback
is
always
different.
You're,
not
it's
not
like
the
same
behavior
and
every
time
like
you're,
doing
something
you're
getting
same
feedback
on
the
same
thing,
that's
different!
You
should
that's.
C
Yeah
so
you're
saying,
like
just
so
I'm
understanding
the
question
that
you
know
when
you're
in
a
learning
culture
you're
getting
feedback
all
the
time.
How
do
you
kind
of
distill
what
you
need
to
work
on,
or
it
feels
overwhelming?
Basically,
so
we
have
to
have
all
of
you
know:
feedback
coming
at
you
all
the
time
and
so
yeah
I
think
that
it's
a
really
good
question
and
it's
a
it's
a
it's.
C
It's
a
skill
in
itself
right
to
really
kind
of
take
feedback,
listen
to
it
and
really
gleam
the
themes
and
the
skills
that
you
want
to
focus
on
to
really
make
those
strides
and
improvements
and
I
I
find
that
your
manager
can
often
be
a
really
good
sounding
board.
Sometimes
it
takes
a
third
party
for
you
to
share
the
feedback.
You've
been
receiving
share
all
things
like
your
career
goals
with
that
person
and
have
them
help
you
distill,
where
you
want
to
focus.
C
If
you're
you
know,
a
manager
or
a
mentor
can
typically
be
a
good
person
to
help
you
think
through
it,
because
III
understand
that
it
can
seem
like
there's.
You
know
a
lot
of
different
things
to
work
on,
and
it's
hard
to
really
kind
of
focus
on
on
on
the
few.
That
will
make
the
most
impact
for
you
personally
and
I
think
that
that
relying
on
on
someone
else
to
help
you
verbalize
your
own
thoughts
and
and
distill
the
the
themes
that
you
that
are
important
to
you
is
important.
C
E
Frederick,
my
talking
was
about
like
review
that
you
reviews
do
to
get
you
on
your
coat
all
the
time
yeah
I
suffered
from
that
a
lot.
So,
basically,
as
a
developer,
you
get
daily
reviews
and
it
can
be
hard
on
yourself,
because
nothing
that
you
do
is
always
perfect.
So
you
can
always
a
review
and
separating
that
your
work,
your
coat
from
your
personal
well-being,
is
hot
and
it
takes
time
like
yeah
just
in
the
same
boat.
I
D
C
That's
a
great
that's
a
great
suggestion,
I
think
if
you
feel
and
again
this
is
going
in
more
into
the
delivering
feedback,
but
if
you've
even
receiving
feedback,
if
you're
you're
paused
and
want
to
digest
and
pair
with
someone
and
how
do
I
think
about
this
can
I
talk
it
through
with
you.
That's
always:
okay
and
I
would
say
Breck
amended,
especially
if
it's
something
you
need
to
think
through
and
oftentimes
that
mirror
that
sounding
board
is
really
helpful.