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From YouTube: NVC Book Club Chapter 1: Giving From the Heart
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A
Heard
a
lot
of
talk
about
nbc,
but
this
is
like
my
first
approach
really
to
the
book,
so
I
am
going
to
start
recording
and
also
I
am
going
to
start
sharing
my
screen.
The
the
link
to
the
to
the
book
is
in
the.
A
In
in
the
non-violent
communication
channel
text
channel-
and
I
didn't
take
notes,
but
I
like
highlighted
some
parts
of
the
book,
so
my
idea
is
to
make
like
a
fast
reading
of
the
things
that
got
more
my
attention
and
then
to
share
with
you.
What
were
your
intentions
and
your
the
things
that
got
caught
your
attention
from
the
chapter
and
we
will
finalize
choosing?
Who
will
be
the
next
week's
facilitator
of
chapter
number?
Two:
do
you
agree
with
the
methodology.
B
A
B
A
I
will
try
to
make
this
fast
because
yeah,
I
don't
want
to
it,
to
take
like
the
full
hour.
I
think
we
can
finish
like
at
40
minutes,
45
minutes
so
yeah
I
I
will
start
with
chapter
one
it's
entitled
giving
from
the
heart
and
he
starts
saying
that
he
he
has
been
like
moved
by
these
two
questions
through
his
life.
I
I
referred
to
martial
rosenberg.
A
What
happens
to
disconnect
us
from
our
compassionate
nature,
leading
us
to
behave
violently
and
what
allows
some
people
to
stay
connected
to
their
compassionate
nature
under
even
the
most
trying
circumstances,
because
yeah
he
was
very
related
to
to
to
violence
and
to
some
to
race
and
to
all
different
yeah
types
of
of
of
violence,
and
he
he
was
wondering
like
why
do
people
behave
violently
and
also,
how
do
other
people
do
to
stay
connected
when
when,
when
things
are,
are
making
them
distressed
and
yeah
like
and
and
and
he
then
starts
telling
that
his
proposal
of
non-violent
communication
is,
is
a
framework
of
of
or
a
language
or
a
use
of
words
that
that
that
tries
to
separate
judgment
from
from
from
our
our
expression
and
to
give
from
the
heart?
A
That's
the
expression
that
he
uses
give
from
the
heart
and
yeah
he
he.
He
also
says
that
this
is
a
framework
that
is
based
on
on
on
language
and
communication
skills
to
remain
human,
and
he
also
says
that
this
is
not
not
not
something
that
he's
making
out
of
scratch.
A
But
it's
just
like
the
framework
and
the
wording
he
he's.
Like
using
to
to
express
safe
ways
to
relate
to
each
other
and
assist
us
in
living
in
a
way
that
manifests
this
knowledge,
so
yeah
nbc
guides
us
reframing,
how
we
express
ourselves
and
hear
others-
and
this
is
very
important
because,
like
when
I
first
started
reading
about
nvc,
I
I
like
gave
more
attention
to
the
way
we
express,
but
nbc
is
also
a
way
to
hear
others.
A
It's
not
only
the
way
that
I
express
myself,
but
it's
also
the
way
that
I
hear
others
and
it's
based
on
on
observation,
the
pers
perceiving
feelings
and
relating
that
to
to
to
needs
and
then
trying
to
be
empathic
when
we
express
our
requests
or
our
desires.
A
So
he
says
that
when
we
learn
to
to
relate
to
our
feelings
and
to
our
needs,
we
we
we
can
express
ourselves
a
more
powerfully
and
in
a
transformative
way,
and
he
says
also
that
nbc
replaces
our
old
patterns
of
defending
withdrawing
or
attacking
in
the
face
of
judgment
and
criticisms
and
yeah.
We
come
to
perceive
ourselves
and
others
in
a
in
a
new
light.
A
And
yeah
that
when
we
focus
on
clarifying
what
what
is
being
observed,
felt
and
needed
rather
than
diagnostic
and
judging,
we
discovered
the
depth
of
our
own
compassion.
A
And
yeah
this
generates
a
lot
of
empathy
and
mutual
desire
to
give
from
the
heart.
A
C
Yeah,
I'm
just
curious
for
the
format
of
the
book
club.
How
much
like
do
we
is
there
like
pauses
to
like
speak
at
some
point?
If
something
draws
like,
I
don't
know
the
etiquette
of
the
the
book
club,
but
with
my
adhd,
it's
kind
of
hard
to
like
hold
a
lot
and
be
able
to
like
talk
about
it
later
or
there's
like
a
lot
of
things
that
are
coming
up.
A
C
I
I
could
start
yeah
that
that
last
that
last
bit,
the
the
you
know
everything
just
kind
of
brings
up
communication
skills
like
something
that
I'm
trying
my
best
to
like
focus
on
and
be
better
at
just
in
general,
because
I
have
more
obstacles
around
this
by
default
is
listening
and
strengthening
that
skill,
the
ability
to
listen
and
what
it
means
to
listen
and
what
it
means
to
hear
and
what
you
do
with
hearing
how
you
filter
that,
what
you
do
with
it,
which
which
goes
into
the
the
diagnosing
and
judging
and
the
you
know,
I
see
a
lot
of
times
in
conflict.
C
One
of
my
frustrations
is
people's
just
nature
and
ability
to
to
police
one
another
or
to
look
for
right
and
wrong
or
to
need
to
need
to
understand
what
happened
like
they
need
to
know
all
the
details
in
order
to
like
form
some
sort
of
opinion
or
something-
and
I
I
like
just
so
immediately
that
takes
away
from
like
what
the
actual
people
need
so
that
all
kind
of
like
swirled
and
brought
up
a
lot.
A
Yeah
also,
I
think
that
I
I
really
like
the
language
that
is
written
in
the
book,
like
the
words
are
the
wording
and
the
and
the
phrasing
is
very
clear
and.
A
And
I
think
it's
very
practical
and
it's
great
for
the
purpose
of
what
we're
trying
to
do
to
have
this
like
a
continued
education
alternative
for
gravitons,
because
I
I
think
that
that
we
don't
want
to
focus
only
on
managing
conflict
when
it
arises.
A
But
we
want
to
prevent
conflict
and
yeah
like
making
better
ways
of
of
understanding.
Each
other
is
really
important
to
to
foster
better
coordination.
A
And-
and
we
judge
a
lot
so
it
it's,
it's
very
important
also
to
to
to
be
conscient
to
be
conscious
about
when
we
are
judging-
and
I
think
that,
through
this
process
and
framework
of
non-violent
communication,
we
will
become
more
conscious
of
of
when
are
we
judging
and
when
are
we
expressing
our
our
requests
through
through
the
interpretation
of
our
feelings
and
needs.
A
And
okay
here
he
gives
an
example
of
a
man
on
their
street
under
a
street
lamp
searching
for
something
and
the
policeman
asked
asks
like
what
are
you
doing
and
he
says
I'm
looking
for
my
car
keys
and
the
the
policeman
asked
him.
Did
you
drop
them
there
and
he
and
he
said
no,
I
dropped
them
in
the
alley,
but
the
light
is
much
better
here.
A
So
what
what
I
understand
of
this
of
this
example
is
that
we
need
to
keep
our
attention
focused
on
a
place
where
we
are
more
likely
to
get
what
we
are
seeking.
A
So
when
we
have
a
conflict
or
when
we
are
trying
to
communicate
with
someone,
it's
better
to
communicate
mindfully
so
that
we
can
really
get
to
the
place
where
we
want
to
be
because
sometimes
we
want
to
say
something
and
our
intention
is
good,
but
when
we
don't
take
care
of
the
way
we
are
expressing,
maybe
we
want
to
say
something,
but
the
results
of
our
expression
takes
us
other
other
place
or
we
want
to
collaborate
and
we
went
and
we
end
up
like
making
things
worse,
and
that
is
something
that
happens.
A
A
lot
in
conflict
management,
sometimes
we
are
trying
to
mediate
a
a
conflict
and
we
have
the
best
intentions
to
for
the
conflict
to
de-escalate.
But
sometimes
if
we
are
not
careful
enough
with
our
communication,
we
can
make
people
feel
judged
or
victimized,
and
then
we
can.
We
we,
like
don't
get
what
we
were
seeking,
that
was
to
de-escalate
the
conflict
and
then
we
like
can
even
make
it
bigger.
A
So
he
says:
let's
shine
the
light
of
consciousness
on
places
where
we
can
hope
to
find
what
we
are
seeking.
A
Yeah
and
he
he.
He
also
then
refers
to
this
lyric
from
a
song
that
he's
that
it
says
I
never
feel
more
given
to
than
when
you
take
from
me.
A
When
you
understand
the
joy
I
feel
giving
to
you-
and
you
know
my
giving
isn't
done
to
put
you
in
my
debt,
but
because
I
want
to
live
the
love
I
feel
for
you
to
receive
with
grace
may
be
the
greatest
giving
there
is
no
way.
I
can
separate
the
two
when
you
give
to
me.
I
give
you
my
receiving
when
you
take
from
me.
A
I
feel
so
given
to
and
yeah
this
this
states
that,
when
we
don't
when
we
don't
see
ourselves
separate
from
the
other,
we
don't
like
give
expecting
something
enriched
in
change
that
he
says
like
giving
from
the
heart.
It's
just
that
we
give
to
the
other
because
of
the
pleasure
that
we
feel
by
giving
and
that
the
same
when,
when
we're
receiving
it's,
it's
like.
I
really
liked
this.
This
phrase.
A
And
yeah,
sometimes
we
are
scars
when
we
give,
because
we
we
we
say
like
okay,
we're
not
going
to
receive
the
same,
but
really
giving
is
a
position
of
gratefulness
and
every
time
you
give.
B
Makes
me
think
of
the
relationship
between
a
person
and
their
dog.
You
never
give
to
a
dog
thinking.
You're
gonna
get
something
back.
You
know
you
got
all
this
demands
from
the
world
pushing
on
you
gotta
do
this
gotta
pay
bills
gotta,
be
this
be
that
and
the
dog
is
just
looking
at
you
just
waiting
and
when
you
finally
show
some
love
to
it,
it's
it's
never
with
a
thought
or
return.
That's
if
only
all
human
relationships
could
be
that
easy.
A
I
I
also
think
that
sometimes
we
are
scars
with
things
that
are
like
unlimited
resources.
Like
love,
we
can
love
a
lot,
but
sometimes
we're
scarce
with
love,
because
I
don't
know
we.
We
feel
that
that
if
the
other
one
doesn't
love
me
back,
then
it's
not
it.
It's
not
good
to
love
them,
but
I,
I
also
think
that
love
is,
and
the
capacity
to
love
is
something
that
it's
a
hundred
percent
like
a
decision
that
you
can
take
and
like
it's
an
infinite
resource,
so
so
yeah.
A
Why
don't
we
give
with
more
love
and
and
and
not
being
scarce
with
it.
C
Yeah
when
I,
when
I,
when
I
read
this
and
when
I
think
about
the
way
I
love
and
the
way
I
believe
it
ought
to
be
just
in
my
existences-
is
loving
from
a
place
of
autonomy
and
without
expectation
like
you,
don't
have
expectations
for
the
other
individual
like
in
a
grounded
way.
You
can
embody
that
and
it's
reciprocal
sounds
dreamy.
A
And
yeah
he
says
that
that
nvc
is
is
used
to
respond
com
compassionately
to
to
the
other,
and
I
agree
with
what
he
says
that
this
is
not
all
something
that
always
happens
quickly.
A
But
I
I
also
think
that
compassion
can
blossom
when,
when
two
people
can
talk
to
each
other
without
judgment
and
like
promoting
dialogue.
A
A
Way
we
start
hacking
problems
in
gravity.
We
first
do
an
observation.
We
take
into
account
feelings
and
needs,
and
then
we
try
to
frame
requests
from
one
side
to
another
to
get
agreements.
A
A
A
framework
that
can
be
used
individually
and
to
observe
what
what
are
we
feeling
what
is
happening
in
us
and
then
try
to
feel
and
understand.
Then
what
are
the
needs
that
are
behind
those
feelings
and
then
how
can
we
express
our
needs
instead
of
expressing
judgment
or
expressing
criticism.
A
She
he
gives
here
like
an
example
of
a
mother
and
a
daughter
but
yeah.
He
then
goes
again
to
say
that
it's
not
only
to
for
expressing
like,
but
the
other
aspect
is
on
receiving
in
the
same
four
pieces.
So
it's
not
it's
not
only
to
think
what
are
what
are
the
feelings
that
I
am
feeling
and
the
needs
to
make
a
request.
A
But
it's
also
that
when
you
hear
some
one
speaking,
you
are
able
to
process
through
what
they
say
to
understand
what
are
their
requests
and
what
are
their
needs
and
what
are
their
feelings.
A
And
that
way
we
can
yeah
also
feeling
and
discovering
the
others.
A
And
and
that
way,
having
respect
for
the
other
and
understanding
the
needs
of
the
other
and
our
own
needs,
we
can
have
a
flow
of
communication.
A
So
for
me,
that's
one
of
the
highlights
the
biggest
highlights
in
this
chapter,
like
it's
not
only
expressing
honestly
through
their
four
components,
but
also
receiving
empathically
through
the
four
components
like
yeah.
Someone
can
tell
me
an
insult,
but
I
will
I
will
try
to
not
feel
insulted
or
judged
by
their
insult.
Rather,
I
will
try
to
to
see
what
are
the
the
needs
or
the
feelings
that
are
triggering
that
insult,
so
that
I
can
understand
what
what
what
is
the
request
or
what
is
that?
A
What
is
er
that
the
other
person
is
trying
to
to
say,
and
then
he
also
talks
about
applying
nvc
in
our
lives
and
in
our
world,
and
this
is
also
what
I
was
talking
about-
that
this
is
not
only
to
to
mediate
in
in
two-party
disputes,
but
also
something
that
we
can
do
in
our
intimate
relationships
in
our
families
in
our
in
in
our
organizations.
A
So
that's
why
we
are
trying
to
promote
nvc
in
the
dao
space,
because
we
want
foster
coordination
and
we
want
to
to
foster
this
space
as
a
as
a
peaceful
environment
and
not
something
that
that
is
filled
with
the
the
violence
that
we
see
in
in
other
institutions.
A
So
yeah.
Until
this
point,
anyone
wants
to
comment
something.
B
I'll
make
a
quick
comment:
having
read
this
book
earlier
in
my
life
and
applied
its
lessons,
I
just
want
to
say
it
does
work
very
well,
and
I
want
to
point
out
the
the
the
observations.
B
Feelings
needs
requests,
that's
really
the
core
of
it
and
the
really
neat
thing
about
the
system
and
the
first
two
items
on
that
list.
You
can't
argue
them
they're
they're
unarguable.
B
B
B
A
Also,
sometimes
we
hear
people
saying
things
to
us
and-
and
we
are
not
capable
of
really
really
understanding
what
they
are
saying.
So
this
this
action
and
this
framework
that
tries
to
apply
empathy
really
also
helps
to
understand
better
the
other
some.
Maybe
someone
would
be
telling
you
things
that
that
may
be
you,
you
really
don't
understand,
or
that
bothers
you,
but
you
you
should
try
to
also
understand
like
what.
A
What
are
the
needs,
that
the
other
person
have
to
tell
you
this,
and
also
what
are
the
feelings
that
you're,
getting
and
and.
A
Yeah
and
and
how
can
you
help
the
other
person
meet
their
needs
because,
like
when
someone
is
expressing
a
need.
A
Sometimes
we
can
help
them
meet,
meet
their
needs,
and
that
is
one
of
the
most
helpful
and
healing
things
like
when
you
don't
have
something
or
when
you
want
something
and
and
and
and
like
or
the
other
person
is
requesting.
Something
and-
and
you
don't
give
them
that
it's
somehow
some
lack
of
recognition
that
you're
having
with
the
other
person
and
you
are
not
valuing
their
their
feelings
of
not
getting
their
their
needs
met.
A
So
we
have
to
stand
in
the
place
of
the
other
and
understand
that
the
same
way
we
want
our
needs
to
be
met.
The
other
person
also
wants
their
needs
to
be
met,
and
both
needs
should
be
like
equally
important
and
and
both
are
yeah-
are,
are
equally
relevant
and
and
for
for
everyone.
A
He
he
now
does
a
summary,
and
he
says,
like
nvc,
helps
us
connect
with
each
other
and
ourselves
in
a
way
that
allows
our
natural
compassion
to
flourish,
and
we
should
be
conscious
of
what
are
we
observing
feeling
and
needing
and
what
are
the
requests
to
enrich
our
lives?
Nvc
fosters
deep
listening,
respect
and
empathy
yeah.
Sometimes
we
don't
listen
really
to
the
other,
or
we
don't
have
empathy
to
what
the
other
is
saying.
A
But
by
doing
this
for
this
you,
you
should
be
able
to
put
in
the
place
of
the
other
and
understand
what
why
the
other
person
is
is
doing
what
he
or
she
is
doing
because
of
their
needs,
and
he
says
that
nvc
is
used
to
mediate
disputes
and
conflicts
at
all
levels,
and
this
is
also
why
nvc
is
a
very
important
thing
for
gravitons.
A
Because
we
want
to
mediate
disputes
and
conflicts
and
also
prevent
them,
and
here
he
gives
an
example,
something
that
happened
to
him,
where
someone
was
really
upset
and-
and
it's
telling
him
like
a
murderer
and
then
through
nonviolent
communication.
He
could
like
take
some
of
the
of
the
of
the
anger
that
was
in
his
message
and
get
to
to
to
understand
what
what
were
their
needs
and
then
when.
A
When
we
really
apply
this
to
someone
who
is
in
anger,
we
we
will
see
that
the
other
person
will
start
like
opening
and
and
becoming
more
commun
communicative.
A
Because
when,
when
we
start
fighting,
that's
the
first
thing
that
happens
like
a
defense
system
and
when,
when
we
use
non-violent
communication,
we
try
to
put
those
arms
and
those
guns
down
and
really
try
to
to
sync
with
the
other
to
to
to
promote
yeah
a
deep
listening.
So
the
other
one
can
feel
hurt
and
and
also
to
to
to
make
the
other
person
de-escalate
of
his
anger.
In
order
for
him
to
be
able
to
to
channel
his
his
expression
through
through
his
needs
and
feelings.
A
I
made
this
one
really
short
and
quick,
because
some
people
told
me
that
they
have
to
jump
out,
but
we
can
stay
and
yeah.
We
can
continue
our
commenting
about
it.
B
A
D
Yeah,
I
didn't
got
the
chance
to
read
it,
but
I
think
yeah,
like
everything
involved,
like
the
number
communication.
I
think
it
would
be
very
important,
like
you
know,
like
for
gravitons,
to
know
about
that
right,
like
because
the
graviton
training
is
like.
Okay,
I'm
I'm
here,
I'm
I'm
becoming
a
graviton,
but
I'm
I'm
myself
a
graviton
and
I
use
violent
communication
a
lot
a
lot.
So
I
think
we
we
should
start
to
yeah
make
like
this.
D
A
Yes,
that
that's
what
we
are
trying
to
do
and
we
are
trying
to
have
continued
education
alternatives,
because
we
understand
that
the
graviton
training
is
like
not
enough
for
someone
to
to
start
mediating
and
that
a
lot
of
these
things
are
need
like
a
continued
practice
and
a
continued
education.
A
So
that's
why
yeah
we're
opening
this
space
and
like,
as
I
told
in
the
start
for
for
me,
I
have
heard
a
lot
of
known
about
nonviolent
communication,
but
I
never
read
the
source
and
I
think
that
reading
from
the
source
is
really
really
always
more
enlightening,
that
than
reading
from
from
summaries
or
or
other
interpretations
also
yeah.
I
liked-
and
for
me
that
was
the
highlight
of
the
chapter
that
it's
not
only
the
way
we
talk.
It's
also
the
way
we
receive,
because
we
can.
A
We
can
say
things
like
with
with
nonviolent
communication,
but
if
the
other
tells
us
something-
and
we
are
not
capable
of
understanding
and
relating
to
the
other
feelings,
and
then
we
are
only
applying
it
halfway
and
we
are
not
really
being
compassionate
to
to
the
other.
A
So
in
these
last
minutes,
because
the
idea
of
this
goal
is
to
have
it
within
40
or
45
minutes,
I
would
like
to
ask
who
wants
to
volunteer
to
to
lead
us
through
chapter
two,
that
is
communication
that
blocks
compassion.
D
I
mean
I'm
well,
I
could
try,
but
I'm
very,
very,
very
booked,
but
if
no
one's
volunteers
I
could
jump
in,
but
if
someone
else
wants
to
do
it,
I
would
prefer.
C
I
secretly
want
chapter
three
just
because
I'm
a
geek
about
numbers,
but
I
could
volunteer
for
this
too.
Instead,
just
so,
no
one
has
to
volunteer
on
account
on
no
one
else,
because
I
am
willing
to
do
one.
So
if
it
has
to
be
the
next
one,
it
can
be.
A
Okay,
so
bianca
for
chapter
four:
I
can
help
allo
issues.
No,
I
can
help
septi
with
chapter
two
communication:
that
box
blocks
compassion
and
allo
issues
can
do
chapter
three.
A
Yeah
so
two
septimos-
and
I
three
and
four
bianca,
also
yeah.
Let's,
let's
continue
pitching
this
space
for
people,
because
I
think
we
are
the
the
only
ones
in
the
dow
space
doing
this,
and
I
I
am
sure
that
this
will
be
really
important
for
for
for
a
lot
of
people
to
not
not
only
to
to
to
be
able
to
communicate
themselves
better,
but
also
to
relate
to
others
better.