Brimbank City Council, Australia The Reality Shakeup, 22 Dec 2021

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From YouTube: The Reality Shakeup - Mental Health (episode 2)

Description

Episode 2 of Reality Shake-Up focuses on youth mental health.

Our young hosts Rebecca and Kano speak to the amazing Courtney Dunn, who works as a Youth Wellbeing and Belonging Officer for Brimbank Youth Services.

This episode explores topics like self-care and ways to look after your wellbeing during these strange and difficult times. How do we look after our mental health during a global pandemic? Tune in now to find out!

Courtney works with Brimbank Youth Services as a Youth Wellbeing and Belonging Officer. In her role, she provides one-on-one support for young people aged 10-25 and also facilitates group programs both in schools and in the community, including the Crystal Queer LGBTIQA+ program (currently being delivered online).

Reality Shake-Up is a podcast that explores everyday topics that we’re all dealing with, whether that’s navigating the world of work during a pandemic, managing your own mental health and more.

The past two years have been challenging for us all. Now that restrictions have eased and we are slowly settling into our new lifestyles, it may be a bit overwhelming to think about life going back to normal. So let’s talk about it!

Find out more about the programs and support that Brimbank Youth Services offer by emailing bys@brimbank.vic.gov.au or visiting the website: https://brimbankyouth.com/

#RealityShakeUp

A

Hi everyone and welcome back to the reality shaker welcome back to episode, 2, and we have courtney down with us from bring bank youth services she's a youth worker there, um I'm the host. My name is christian devsi, champake, ravalgi, otherwise known as connor and I'd like to introduce my co-host.

B

Rebecca my name is rebecca and I'll be interviewing together. Connor.

A

Over to you, courtney.

C

Hello, my name is courtney. I've just started as a youth, well-being and belonging officer at brimbank youth services, so very excited to be here.

A

Perfect, thank you for uh making the time to be here. I guess I want to get your opinion. What's some work, that you do um that you're involved with the young people.

C

Yeah sure well yeah, as I said, just started, so just uh just diving into it um at the moment, but um I've been working in the lgbtiq plus space, so we have a community-based program that called crystal queer that I've been co-facilitating.

C

We do a lot of work in schools as well, so it's been nice just to start meeting with schools and some other things.

C

Oh tuning into teens is a parenting program, so supporting parents to uh tune into their teens and uh kind of manage that sometimes turbulent uh period in a our parent and child life um and we're also facili or coordinating the resilience, youth, australia survey. So that's with primary and secondary schools um and we're just going to get a huge data set of you know what young people are going through.

C

How they're feeling- and you know- that'll really- you know be super helpful in in terms of uh you- know- preparing programs meeting needs and especially um following this, you know almost two years of covert and seeing kind of yeah how young people are going and how we can support them. So yeah, that's just in the first couple of weeks. So uh we'll see what else happens.

C

A

um And I think you mentioned that you know you started fresh, but you've been working in this field for many years and I guess, did you work in the similar sector before or was it somewhere else.

C

Yeah no, I worked right on the other side of town in greater dandenong, so working in their youth services team. So a similar role, working with all kinds of young people, predominantly focusing on running programs and events just to build the capacity of young people, build their skills up um and also foster a sense of you know. Community belonging, and you know I think that's that would be something that's so important coming out of this covert period. So you know certainly work that I look forward to continuing here in.

B

Broombank, so with the work that you're doing now, how would you say it's changed since the pandemic has started? Because I imagine it's a lot of engagement with young people and would you say they're more or more disengaged, more engaged or less engaged.

C

I would say more engaged um yeah, we, you know in my past role, you know covert kind of just started unfolding um and you were like you know. What can we do right now like we can't meet people face to face? We can't have our usual programming like how do we adapt to this new world that we're living in um so we started conducting check-ins um checking phone calls with um some of the young people who already connected to our service.

C

um It was kind of a structured approach. You know be like look, I'm just here to see how you're going like what's going on for you, um you know we can. We can talk every week. We don't even have to talk. If you don't want to. um You know.

C

This is all about you and how I can support you as a youth worker, and you know we found that young people really took us up on that offer, and you know maybe you know there was varying levels of um you know, issues that people were going through, but you know for the most part, the young people just enjoyed. Having someone to talk to, and maybe people who hadn't previously, you know sought to speak to someone or you know, didn't really know how beneficial that could potentially be for them so yeah.

C

In my experience, young people were just more open to just talking, which I think is such an important first step and just to have a trusted adult around maybe outside of their family, especially.

D

C

That they were more than likely living on top of you know each other so um yeah, just someone outside the family home that they could talk to so.

B

Would you say it's maybe because they needed an outlet more than they needed one before restrictions.

C

Yes, I would say so I think.

B

C

A lot of yeah complex issues.

D

C

At play, you know for everyone, everyone experienced um yeah covered in a different way and different things came up so um yeah. Certainly things had. It was change, you know varying degrees, but change and.

D

C

I think it yeah it showed that people were really open to talking about it and yeah having that outlet yeah.

A

I think definitely definitely agree on the talking to someone. I think you know be coming from a migrant myself. I don't think we don't have those dialogue with my parents about mental health, how things have been, and I think, being in lockdown for so long. It's like, as you said, you're trapped with the same people and you don't have those normal outlets, whether that's playing you know going outside meeting your friends or you know going out to the movies or something like that. So you're you'll internalize a lot of things and I think yeah.

A

One thing that I also found was talking it out was was helpful, but it is, I think, even getting to that point is tough and I think, having services like that, where you know you're going in there and be like hey, you know I'm here for you rather than I think sometimes it's difficult for a young person even myself to be like hey, I need help, but if someone's offering that help, it's more easy to. I feel like to say yes, and did you find that in the work that you did.

C

Yeah yeah absolutely, and you know it's not framed yeah, it's not framed, as you know do I need help. It's like I'm just here. If you, if you want to chat and it's you know it's the ball's in your court and you know we can just talk and that's it. We can talk and you know if you want to talk about. You know some of the issues you're having and maybe there's some services out there that we can. You know refer you to.

D

C

Yeah, it's really putting the young person in control and validating how they're feeling um you know not feel like there was this. uh Maybe a bit of comparison going on. You know, particularly when the covert pandemic first unfolded was like. Oh, but you know, people have it so much worse than me and you know not validating your own experience, um so I think that was really important. Just to have someone to listen and really acknowledge that. Yes, this is no matter what your circumstances are. This is a really hard issue.

A

C

Hard experience- and you know I'm here to listen and if that's all it is, then that's okay. um But if there's more that I can do I'm here um yeah. I think that was just our approach across the board. So yeah.

B

So, by allowing the youth to control the narrative around the way that they were dealing with kovid, was there any themes or experiences that were common amongst the people that you talked to.

C

um Yeah, I guess it was mental health, but um you know not often just framed as my mental health. It was.

A

C

A journey to get to that that place, and just you know, kind of I'm feeling all these feelings or, like you know my heart's, like real tight kind of thing like what's going on so just kind of working through that process and saying yeah, that's you know, you know anxiety or you know some some kind of mental mental health concern and just some some strategies to kind of manage how the how they're feeling um or support services that are out there just letting them know whether they want to take it up now or not.

C

Maybe later just letting them know that people services are around um yeah. Mental health was a big one. um Study and education support a huge one without a doubt- and you know also, you know not having an appropriate space in the home with which to study or having you know, no one there to support them. Like you know the teachers, the teachers were doing their best, but it's just not the same experience as being in a classroom and just putting a hand up and getting that help.

C

So um yeah the education support was a huge one and yeah. Just the space in the home, I did have different kinds of responses around family relationships, so some um some strengthened to be honest, you know they really. You know maybe the first time the family unit had really kind of hung out and spent quality time together.

D

C

Yeah, I'm sure they're they've been busy uh doing their own thing living their own lives um as we do, but they were kind of forced to. You know, go out on these family walks and have their.

D

C

Exercise together or like eat dinner together, um so those stories are really lovely to hear um but yeah. On the contrary, there were also you know. It was a stressful time um living on top of each other current uh constantly sorry and yeah, so sometimes family relationships um were strained as a result. So how do you manage that? You know communication.

C

um You know acknowledging that everyone's going through some stuff, so kind of working together in a way so yeah yeah- and you know there were plenty more. I guess themes that were coming across as well. Isolation was a huge one.

D

C

Just spending all your time at a screen all day, um yeah there's so much that's coming out of it um yeah. It was yeah, extremely yeah, just horrible times, yeah. Basically, but you know it was great that young people felt confident and comfortable to talk about how they were feeling.

A

And I think that's a big thing, there's so many things at play. There's so many factors that play you need that outlet or you need something to be that positive light. I think, last year being in. I think I don't know how many days we're in lockdown but seeing the case numbers every day and then um seeing the presses and it's like when's this gonna end. I don't think I think that hope slowly starts to decay.

A

For me, it's like we're, gonna get out we're gonna get up and it just kept on going and going, and I think that loneliness loneliness that kicks in and that um that yeah, you don't have that hope to keep on going. It was that was that common in other young people.

C

Yeah, I think, um yeah a huge thing you just touched on. There was, um you know, seeing the case numbers every day and the total saturation or over saturation of the news um you know and it's you know it was all covered and all the time and it was all negative and it was about our numbers, and um you know I feel like it was. It was overwhelming for everyone. It was overwhelming. For me, it was um yeah to just you know, putting putting boundaries around that was really important, but yeah.

C

Just that was a huge thing that came up with young people as well, um but also misinformation um was a big one. So just yeah the the news was everywhere.

C

You know all different, um you know all different channels, and you know knowing who to trust and where to go and like all these conflicting messages like you know, we're drowning in it. So how do you? How do you kind of decide what's true and what's not, how do you fact check.

D

C

It was, it was a difficult time and yeah, and you spoke also about that hope and you know yeah. You know I I actually experienced the same like um you know we're in this in this kind of just cycle and it's just living day to day, and um you know you look forward to the weekend, but then you're bored.

D

And then you look.

C

Forward to the week, and then you know you look you just want to like kind of fast forward time, and um you know I think, having that hope is so important, but I feel like we yeah. We didn't have it for a long time. I think that was really hard just knowing when we could start um yeah planning our lives again. Yeah um yeah, that's a whole nother story.

C

B

I feel like we were just going on this walk forever and we kept on getting distracted with these little things that come along the way we never got to the destination and I think for young people as well, because that's the age where you're planning so much of your future business and that and to not have an idea of what that's going to look like even like as an older person.

B

That's very I don't know what the word for it is, but it feels like you're getting nowhere and it's easy to make um to blame yourself, but also like that, can affect your self-worth as well and make you feel like. Oh I'm not able to do as much as I plan to do all these things didn't go my way so now I just feel like a bit of a failure and like what you're saying about comparing how it's different for everyone and some people, maybe they coped a little bit better than others.

B

Maybe that was outside of their control and hearing, especially with social media. I feel like it can be a bit hard when everyone's posting about how they're dealing with lockdown and then instantly start, comparing yourself and you're saying.

B

Why am I not in the way they feeling or why am I not using this time to exercise more read more like all those things, and I think, especially with younger people being more attached to social media, it makes it a bit more difficult to kind of disconnect you're isolated, but you're, also like very immersed in the online world. That makes sense no.

A

I 100 agree, uh I think I I don't know if I'm going to frame this correctly, but I like to say we're more connected than ever.

B

A

More lonely at the same time, yeah, I think.

B

A

um And I think moving on now I think we talked about coping and I think the good thing is: there's vaccines out there, where you know hopefully going back to a normal, and I guess I want to ask from you that you know we are coming out of normal. I think people, you know, have experienced trauma and you know it's important to not. You know validate that and be like hey I've been through this. um So what are you? I guess?

A

How are you in your work or in your person's life now moving from the corporate situation that trauma that was experienced to now going back to normal um life.

C

Yeah um yeah, that's, yes, we've covered the code. What a journey um and now we're kind of easing back into yes, a new covered, normal and yeah, and what that looks like, and it's it's so different for everyone. I've spoken to you know so many people, you know friends, family members, young people and everyone's really going through through something different, you know and and a mix of emotions as well like there's the excitement and happiness to be reunited with friends and family.

C

um But then there's also on the flip side. This nervousness and anxiety around. You know a huge change actually like we. We got.

B

Used to our life uh a long time like almost two years, that's hectic exactly.

C

um So yeah this is kind of the new challenge you know managing managing our excitement and our anxiety around um you know what life is is looking like. You know, coming out of covert um covered lockdowns, hopefully anyway, um but yeah. I guess yeah myself. um You know I'm quite a planner. I I plan all the outings for my friendship group um and I had I was just so excited and I was like.

C

Let's do this and let's go here and let's put this in and um I just found, I got so overwhelmed um with doing that and you know I might have been overwhelming my friends too, and so I've, since just kind of taken a step back. I've uh had a few quiet weekends. Where I haven't tried to you, know bombard.

B

Me out yeah all day every day over the weekend.

C

So just you know really acknowledging that um you know I really needed to do it at my own pace and there was no rush. um You know you can take it slow, you do it. You know at your own pace. Take your time. um You know, we've got the rest of our lives to live now. It's kind of what I was saying um yeah. I think I can't stress that enough is that you know you really have to re-enter the world at your own pace.

C

um You know you and- and you know, acknowledge, that there are things that are not within your control, but you know there are things that are within your control.

C

You are in control of your of your mindset, you're in control of how much news you watch or social media, that you're exposed to you're in control of who you see and for the most part and how you see them um in terms of you know your friends, um yeah and just uh yeah, just really taking it, taking out your own speed and and not feeling rushed by anyone.

C

um You know setting setting your own personal boundaries deciding what they are. How comfortable you feel um yeah and setting those- um and you know it's also: okay, if you're not not even ready to re-enter you need to. You know, take a bit more time to you know, get used to the new lay of the land and um be okay with asking for help as well and talking that out, um you know, and you know, being in charge of your own covert, safe behaviors when you do choose.

D

C

Go out and kind of re-enter society um yeah, so there's plenty there, there's yeah we're there's just so many emotions, and you know so many things we're in control of so many things we're not in control of. But you can only do your best.

B

I was going to say if you had, if you were in friendship groups or perhaps your friends were reacting differently to how you were reacting. Maybe you were less excited about going back or you felt anxious about it. How would you have those conversations with your friends or even family, or anyone really.

C

Yeah yeah, I think that's a great question. um You know because yeah some people might yeah we're all feeling differently. um So yeah such a good question, I think, as I said just you know deciding what your personal preferences are and what your um boundaries are.

C

um Having an honest conversation with with your friend or family member, you know, if they're your friend or your family member, they love you and they they want to support you and in how you're feeling so just being open and having that open communication with them tell them why you're feeling that way and what your apprehensions are. Maybe they're you know together, you can work through some strategies to to. You, know, potentially see each other or connect virtually um yeah, but I think that honesty is really important.

C

You know there if you don't feel comfortable having that conversation or you don't want to share. um You know how you're feeling about it. There are ways that you can kind of. You know ease back into it. um You know if you're feeling comfortable to do so.

D

C

You know you can, uh you know, set yourself a stats. I say firstly, again go at your own pace, um you know, take it as slow as you need to maybe start with catching up with one friend as opposed to entering a friendship. You know circle or, like a group of friends.

C

um You know you might want to set a time limit. So you know I, you know, I'm really feeling a bit nervous. I'll, hang out for an hour. You put the love on yeah I'll, you know and let your friend.

D

B

C

um You know, prior to your hanging, you know your yeah hanging out time that you'll have to leave in an hour.

D

C

Tell them you know the real reason why or you can just say I have to leave.

D

It yeah and just leave it at that.

C

You know it really depends on how you're feeling.

D

C

You know at least when you're there, you know the end point there's an end point, but I think another thing we've, I think maybe a lot of us have really learned to love, is those outdoor gatherings. um You know an outdoor picnic.

D

C

Walk with some coffee or some.

D

C

Water, whatever, whatever floats.

D

A

C

And just getting out into nature, so I think um you know it's certainly a covered safe, behavior, certainly more safe than meeting indoors. So if you can, you know if melbourne weather is nice to us, um although I have been known to go for these walks in the rain with you know, I really needed to get out, um but yeah try try for an outdoor activity um yeah.

C

If, if food is involved, which you know that's always fun, um you know, try and have individually packaged foods or just you know something each and then you know just say: no, I'm not sharing my food. That's for me! It's yum.

A

um No, that's, I think, that's a very good point. Yeah um you make that courtney and I think I really vibe with when you said that. Well we're going back to norway. We have a limited time. There's no there's not a set time like. Oh, you have to meet up with your friends the next week or you have to organize all your catch-ups in the one weekend we, but this is going to be hopeful.

A

The new normal and you know, there's no rush to get out there and do everything so go at your own pace and I think the other thing is. If you need to, you know, wear a mask. If you are with your friends, that's completely okay, you know you're doing it for yours, your own safety and your family and friends, safety and there's. You know, there's no shame in doing that.

C

Yeah, absolutely you can still maintain those corporate safe behaviors. You can, um you know an a meter and a half apart. Yeah wear your mask if it feels comfortable. Sometimes I've seen the cutest marks they're like.

D

C

Accessories, so you know, go for it go for it, and, and another thing actually is which um I kind of um was feeling as well was greetings with people.

A

I was lying before we met before we had an awkward. I I thought we were going to hug and then she wrote for the hug.

B

I'm like, oh, I don't know what you thought. We were.

A

We weren't, I thought we, I thought we weren't. Oh.

B

Okay, so what happened was me and connor haven't met in person because we started like doing the working together thing all online. So today was the first day they were meeting in person, and I like this now that you're telling me there's something I probably should have asked, and I just didn't take into consideration, I'm a very like outward kind of person and maybe because I've just grown up always being like that that I forgot that I haven't actually met him in real life.

B

So I feel like I should have asked: is it okay or I should have just had another handshake, just said hi from a distance? So that's what I will take into consideration now when I'm meeting people and maybe there it would change. Maybe people that I have met before lockdown. They might feel some way about seeing people face to face. So I think I need to be more respectful of that.

C

Yeah, I think yeah first-hand experience, but a great learning and a great.

A

C

That you're now able to share yeah um yeah. I think that's that's a big one like for me. It's always been a thing cause, I'm not a big hugger or kisser, and some people are and- and I love that about other people, but I always feel like. Oh no, you know. Is it a hug.

D

C

Hug kiss greeting or like they're just a kiss, I don't know it's always been a stressful uh time for me, but um I think even more so now so you know you can kind of see someone coming towards you and they're like so excited to see you you're, like oh, I think they're going in for the hugs they're like that excited to see me. uh You know yeah, oh, let's embrace the elbow bump for a bit longer.

C

My tip would be to stick your elbow out like in.

B

C

Them know yeah, I think, just have that kind of body language ready, like yeah we're going in for the elbow bomb. It's still cool, it's still around um yeah, which is kind of what I do anyway. When I greet people I like have the body language that says.

A

I don't want to hug not.

C

A hugger sorry, so kirby was really good for that yeah, but um yeah definitely like prepare for for for a greeting because, as you say, yeah it's so natural and.

D

C

Something we've really yearned for a lot of us anyway,.

D

C

That personal connection.

D

A

D

Yeah, so that's true.

C

You know if you feel safe to do so. You can hug wear your mask while you hug, but um you know, let's, let's keep embracing the elbow bump for a bit longer. It's.

B

Good, it's cool um so kind of related to that in terms of um maybe now because we're out of lockdown and even though we're feeling lonely before, but now we kind of maybe want to put ourselves out there more in terms of making friendships and even like relationships even dating everything like with young people. I feel like there's either the mindset where I don't want to do anything like give me some time and it's the mind.

B

The other mindset of I've wasted so much time and I just want to be out there and I guess just make up for lost time in terms of friendships and connections and all those things. And I guess what kind of advice would you give in terms of making those connections while still being conscious of not just the physical distancing but also the mental?

B

You know some people have gone through a lot of things in the past couple or two years, and maybe they don't want to talk about it or maybe they do, but just having those conversations as we went through it together. But you might have had a different experience and is it something you bring up when it's a new friendship or a new relationship, so.

C

Yeah yeah boom um yeah. Look, I think, yeah, I guess in terms of making new friendships. I think it's a really exciting time to be able to do that, and um you know I think yeah covert is, I guess, is a bit of a a hot topic and has been for maybe the last two years, um but you know I think I think people are quite not not everyone, but you know I found people to be quite open about their experience and I think once we kind of got past the comparing.

C

You know our own grief um with other people who you know are going through more than us, um and I say that with the quotation marks, because you might not be able to see me but um yeah, I think you know we've. I hope that we've maybe come come further and you you know, we've all been on this journey together. We've all been locked locked down for 200 plus days, you know in a year and a half kind of span, um and I think it's you know if you feel comfortable enough to share that experience.

C

I think you know people are happy to listen and happy to share um if it's not something that you feel comfortable um discussing. I think you know if you feel comfortable to do it. Just try, try and be honest, and you know you there might. There might come a time when you feel okay about it, like it's still, it's still very fresh and very raw for many, and many people have been through uh so many different things. So I think I think, because we've all been through it together.

C

I think people would understand that if you're not quite ready to talk um yeah, I think just open communication is super important in this, and just you know on both sides, just respecting how respecting each other's um you know, experiences and and what they're willing to share and their boundaries. If they're not willing, I think, yeah, I think we will be able to take away. We will look back and be able to take away a lot of positives from this time. You know people have been so resilient, they've been so flexible, so adaptable.

D

C

You know think of the school year.

D

C

And out of remote learning this thing that nobody knew what it was you know two years ago and you know in and out exams you know online and you know basically teaching yourself at school. It's unheard of. I.

D

C

You know we all need to kind of reflect on what we've gained from this time and and maybe it's an appreciation of friendships and um whether it's you know I want to make new ones because I want to. I want to have this experience or you know the existing friendships that you had.

C

um It might have went the other way as well, like, oh, that, maybe wasn't a great uh friendship, but it's a great time for reflection and but focusing on what we learned and and those positives that that can come out of this pretty horrific experience.

D

A

I think I think it's interesting that you mentioned that we should reflect and focus on the positives, because I think normally we think of the curve, but it's almost we have that big negative connotation like oh, that's, that's terrible, but I think you know looking back on it. We we survived. You know a big thing and I think we should give ourselves credit and especially the young people in school or in university.

A

They had to almost like in and out of oh we're doing in person now you're going to switch everything to online, so I think it's giving them. You know. Take that credit and be like look. I survived this um I've gone through and you know whatever comes life throws at me in the future. I can. I can overcome that as well.

C

Absolutely yeah, I think, yeah. Everyone should be so incredibly proud of of the fact that they're here and they've enjoyed this and you know they've bounced back. um You know whether that's a journey that's ongoing, but yeah. You know where we've been through a lot and yeah props to us. We nailed it especially victoria.

B

Yeah, um but it was interesting when you said um you know about like friendships, maybe sometimes they were lost or they got broken through during lockdown and even family relationships. I'm just thinking. I think it's really easy to get into that mindset of. Oh, you know I saw the person for who they really are and now we're just not friends or I don't want to continue being this close with this person. But I think sometimes we forget that we were we're living in.

B

What's the word, I guess extraordinary circumstances, just very in situations that wouldn't be normal in general, so I think sometimes, even though we do maybe saw the negative traits of people or things that we didn't know about them, things that came out, maybe because it was of the external circumstances that stressed them out or that led to that situation. So even me right now, I'm doing some live reflecting and I'm thinking.

B

If I do see people who I thought, maybe you know um they're locked lockdown confirmed for me that they're no longer people of one of my life, I think maybe re-evaluating and thinking that maybe it was because of the circumstances that they became that person and giving time after lockdown to see if those things continue before I make my decision about it. So I think- and I like even just me, observing other friends who've also made those kind of decisions during lockdown. I think it's a really volatile time to be making really decisive um decisions.

B

Besides decisions just.

D

B

General, but really um what's a word like really uh to feel really affirmatively about something- and I think maybe reflecting back, would be really helpful to see you know, maybe I wasn't being the best person I could be and how maybe now that circumstances are changing, I'm also changing and it's not always going to be a bad or a good thing, but it's just happening. So I think that's another note to reflect on.

D

C

Yeah, absolutely yes, I don't want to say it but unprecedented time.

B

Yeah see, I was avoiding it didn't.

D

Want it to be one of those conversations.

B

But yeah it is, and I think we forget that, because it's been going on for so long that we think that this is just the norm. It's going to be like this forever, but um just another thing that we've gotten through and we're.

C

Still going through, I guess yeah and I think that's a really good point that you raise in terms of yeah. You may have maybe reflecting on relationships. uh You know during during those lockdown periods, when you know we weren't things, weren't normal yeah.

D

C

And like yeah, I think, coming back now, as we are easing into new normal and yeah, potentially giving it another chance in a more uh kind of normal environment.

C

um You know going for that, walk together and just kind of seeing how you vibe um and whether you know things have changed since lockdown, or things have changed since before lockdown, like just where you're at now, because no doubt many of us will come out of this experience as different people. Yeah.

D

C

So yeah, whether yeah, whether you're still still um use it again still vibing together.

D

Or not, you know, that's.

C

Yeah they're decisions that you can make now and you can think about and and give another crack and see.

A

C

A

So I think when we're young people, I think especially coming out of school in that uni phase, we do go through a lot of um friendship circles. I don't think we don't have a solid base. um You know if people are changing, we do we. You know we might see each other, see our friends every day at school, then school it doesn't happen.

A

Then you might, you might lose a few friends and I think you didn't really feel like you didn't lose friends, because you know you didn't meet any other people, so you could you couldn't really replace them anymore.

D

A

It's all like, oh am, I are we still friends, oh like. Are we going to catch up after two years? I'm.

D

B

D

B

And there's pressure as well, sometimes to feel like you know that we've been talking so much because it's been online and now that it's face to face. You continue that consistency, but maybe you don't have as much time anymore or maybe because it was face to face, and let's say perhaps you were naturally a very like anxious person about seeing someone face to face then, like it changes the dynamic and it's I only felt comfortable seeing you that much because it was online, but that's the whole other conversation.

B

I don't know how you could even have that conversation that you feel like they were a better friend online.

B

Like yeah, so you won't really realize until later down the track once restrictions have ease, and you start seeing them face to face- and you might say: oh that's actually too much for me or it's just because I feel like online can be a different kind of vibe in general than face-to-face. So.

C

Yeah yeah definitely yeah. It is, I think, that's yeah, a very, very interesting point in that yeah we haven't met anyone new and we've been super reliant on on the friends that we had. um You know that we had two years ago, and you know some of those friendships will last forever but yeah. We do we move in and out of friendship circles, um especially when we're young and yeah. Would you still be friends?

C

Would you like grow out of each other? Just like navigating all your friendships again, and you know maybe trying to make more. You know different friends and how.

D

C

B

Exactly that's the whole thing. What do you mean.

D

B

Also, maybe not taking it personally, if you know a person doesn't want to see you that much anymore or you decide, you don't want to see them. I don't think it's anything specific about that person, but maybe you know you guys just not compatible in that way anymore or you just yeah.

C

Yeah, I feel like often there's it's something that's kind of miss like you know when partners break up- and you know it just didn't work for us and you know we're not compatible.

B

D

C

Up too yeah we just go our separate ways: yeah, I feel like it's less accepted, but it should be. Okay, like you know, two people, it doesn't have to be an incident or anything two people can just grow out of each other and that's.

B

The other day you might not need to have a conversation about, if you both already, are feeling it and it's just drifting apart. It doesn't need to be this big, dramatic thing that, yes, we broke up as friends and it's not happening anymore, but maybe now you might feel the pressure more now that you are seeing them face to face.

B

Maybe people did slowly become reluctant during lockdown to see their friends, and that was a sign that they were wanting to end the friendship, but maybe they just had the other friend thought it was more because of lockdown, and that would be a really awkward conversation to have yeah.

A

But I think it's also okay, I feel like. Sometimes we have, we create friendships or um connections people because of the situation that we're putting, because we just we want to have that connection. I know I play a lot of video games and some some of my friends I haven't met that I play video.

D

Games with ever yeah.

A

Even in person, so it's like and now our social hangout spot is the video game, and so like hanging out in person is like it's a bit weird. Now, it's like! Oh, why don't we just.

B

You would never beat them no, no. I would. I would.

A

It's just it's not, it doesn't come natural.

D

A

Oh, let's just jump on tonight. Let's play some video games, talk about life, but now meeting up in person. It's like you know.

D

What what are we going to do? What are we going to.

A

Talk about so, I think it's and it's okay to, I feel like have those online relationships. We go into another topic, but I think it's interesting that the world we live in now. It's like we're so super connected and we do have those online connections and that's that that they they have their own place um and then we also have like in-person connections, which I.

B

Think is the pandemic has validated online relationships more because before probably, if you didn't see that person face to face, it's like us, not that serious of a friendship or whatever, but now that you've, that was the only option for you to see them like that. Now people take them more seriously. Oh yeah we've met during the pandemic, haven't seen them like in person, but we're still really good friends like that weighs more weight.

C

Exactly compared.

B

To if it was pre-lockdown.

C

And how important those online uh friendships can be like they yeah a lot of people got us through the hard times.

D

So you know they. They certainly.

C

Have their place they're so important, um yeah, definitely, but times are changing yeah.

D

It's just it's.

C

The way of the future yeah.

A

And just just, I guess, wrap up this whole conversation. I want to ask you a question around. um You know. You know we're going through some tough times and you might do some reflecting and find some bad stuff, and I think now it's you know it's important to explore that and find you know get not get over it.

A

I don't know what the correct terminology is correct me if I'm wrong but get past that, and I guess how would you recommend me reaching out for help, because I think sometimes even for me, if I'm going through tough times reaching out for help, is like one of the last things that I'll do? um What are your? What are your tips for young people if they're going through this a tough time, um maybe because of the pandemic or other stuff? Now that we're going back to normal? What do you? What would you recommend.

C

Yeah, um yes, such an important question and um yeah, I could think in one way or another, where we're all going going through something and um yeah and people feel very differently about you know asking for help, but um you know help doesn't need mean to be you know it doesn't need to be that something's wrong or it's as simple as just having a chat with someone and just instead of it being in sitting inside of you, it's it's out there and it's it's it's air and you can have someone to to listen to you and and to you know, validate how you're feeling like that's that's, okay, how you're feeling is, is yours and it's fine to feel that way.

C

um You know, and you know, there's there's help that can come from there, um but yeah you do have to just you know, trust in the process and maybe just take that step, but just just know that there are people who want nothing who want nothing but to help you and to see you thrive, whether you've met them or not. It could be. You know a trusted family member. Maybe it's someone, it's not necessarily your immediate family. Maybe it's a an extended.

D

A

C

Yeah, maybe it's not yeah exactly it's someone you've met playing video games. It's a trusted friend like a truly trusted friend who you know has your best interests at heart um or it could be. You know it may be that you don't want to talk to someone. You know, and you want to talk to someone. You don't know- and I think that's where you know, youth services and youth workers have a really important role.

C

You know how, as a youth worker, my job is to listen and support young people. Like you know, that's that's what I'm doing yeah um so yeah and it can. It can be. You know the young person drives that it's it's you know they can. You know come once. Never again they got what they needed off their chest. They can come. You know as little or as much as they want.

C

The young person is in control, and sometimes you just need to take that first step. um Yeah and there are, you know there are plenty of services around as well. I speak um from the service that I know um that I'm a part of, but there are so many amazing services and we're you know we're really lucky to have that um available to us, um but you know also.

C

It may be that you're you're, not a phone call person or you know you don't want to meet them face to face. You don't want them to see your face. There are some, you know really awesome. Hopefully you've heard of them before, but really awesome like hotlines and e-chats that are available anytime 24-7 to help and to and support you've got the kids helpline you've got e-headspace you've got the beyondblue chat.

C

um There is so much out there and again they're just there waiting for you and wanting to help you and support you in whatever that looks like it's a phone call.

C

You know the e-chat, so you can just type um you don't have to have your voice heard your name read or anything like that so utilize, these services, um you know, take that big first step and and another thing is, if you know you do take that step and you don't have a great first experience.

C

There are so many other other people who can help you so just give it another go. Sometimes you just need to find your right match.

D

C

Kind of like finding a friend you just got to find the person that vibes with you and may not be the first time but um yeah just just remember that people people are out there and they they want to help you and um yeah. You just just take that first step. Whatever that looks like it's a chat, a phone call, an in-person conversation um or reach out to a trusted adult um or a trusted friend.

B

I was just going to add in or it's another question I guess, but a lot of the resources and help are more so dependent on the person taking that step right. So the person that's being affected. What about in terms of if you're noticing someone that's being affected, or they are not ready, don't want to have that conversation, maybe, and how can you be there for them without forcing this these resources, or this professional help on them.

C

Yeah such a good question again, um you know, I think yeah. It can be your role as someone who provides them with the tools. um You know they are they're. Independent people and you know, they'll make their own decisions, um but if you provide provide them with the tools and just let them know that you're there.

D

C

Don't rush, don't rush them. You know you're there when they are ready. Just just let them know that whenever that time comes, if it ever comes you'll be there, um you know you could send them, send them a website. um You know if, if you feel like it, just don't put any pressure on people to to seek support, but I think knowing knowing that you know someone is there and ready, I think, can be really empowering for someone um and just having having that support that they're not alone in this. um It's really important yeah.

A

Perfect, um thank you so much. I'm courtney for your time and for your valuable advice, and I think it's a really big point around taking that first step. I think it's I think we talked about some of the issues or some of the things that young people have gone through and not just young people. Everyone have gone through has gone through during this.

A

You know this during this tough two years and it's important to acknowledge that, and you know what now we are getting out of normal, I'm getting out of covert and going back into copenhagen. So it's important to recognize that and then move on, and you know there it doesn't have to be all that one go you can. You can take your time.

A

So thank you so much for your time and you're, giving us your insights and thank you so much for the work that you do also like to thank my co-host um beck and cameraman tim in the back. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you guys got something out of it and yeah we'll see you in the next episode. Thank you.