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From YouTube: Our Table, Our Talk Episode 4: Being Better Allies
Description
The fourth and final episode of #OurTableOurTalk is here. Host Beverly Calender-Anderson is joined by community member Jennifer Crossley, LGBTQ+ Culture Center Director Doug Bauder, and Unitarian Universalist Church Ministers Rev. Mary Ann Macklin and Rev. Scott McNeill to discuss allyship and how we can be better allies.
Our Table, Our Talk is produced by the City of Bloomington, Indiana's Community and Family Resources Department.
Video Directed by Justin Crossley
A
Welcome
to
our
table
our
top
a
program
of
the
city
of
Bloomington,
community
and
family
resources,
department
in
honor
of
Black,
History
Month,
we'll
be
discussing
issues
for
and
about
african-americans
living
in
Bloomington.
This
is
by
no
means
meant
to
be
a
conversation
just
for
african-americans,
but
as
the
Sun
designed
to
spark
conversations
throughout
the
community
today,
we'll
be
talking
about
what
it
means
to
be
a
good
Ally
I'm,
going
to
start
by
asking
my
guests.
What
is
an
ally?
Would
what
what
does
that
mean
to
you
being.
B
A
B
Ally
to
me,
I
think,
is
being
able
to
you
know,
respect
the
space
that
you're
going
into
I.
Think
that's
what
I
was
trying
to
get
it
because
and
respect
in
the
space
and
slow
to
respond
oftentimes,
you
know.
Sometimes,
when
you
are,
you
know
being
accused
of
certain
things.
It's
one!
That's
like!
Oh,
my
god,
I'm.
Not!
That's
not
me,
that's
not
what
I'm
doing
it's
just
like,
but
understand
this
is
where
this
person
is
coming
from.
This
is
how
they
are
feeling
so
listening
and
respect
in
this
place.
C
B
A
C
And
there's
a
when
you
talk
about
space.
I
was
thinking,
there's
a
certain,
even
intention
to
get
yourself
out
of
your
space
where
you're,
comfortable
and
making
sure
you're
in
other
spaces,
where
you
might
not
know
exactly
how
things
are
going
or
what
the
culture
is.
But
you
go
in
there
and
for
me
it's
a
lot
of
it
says.
Will
it's
for
me
to
be
willing
to
have
my
agenda
change
and
particularly
the
agendas
I'm,
not
even
aware
of
what's.
A
C
D
A
I
know
that
we
can,
we
can
be
allies
individually,
but
we
can
also
be
allies,
corporately
and
I
know
at
the
Unitarian
Universalist
Church.
That
is
one
of
the
values
that
that
you
all
hold
and
and
what
does
that
come
from
the
Church's
teachings?
Does
that
come
from
the
leadership
like?
How
is
that
evolve?
I
think.
E
It's
at
both
end
and
in
particular
the
sense
of
what
I'm
hearing
in
this
is
not
having
their
own
agenda,
but
also
Doug.
You
mentioned
like
forming
an
action
plan
with
someone
else
and
trying
to
meet
with
community
organizations
and
individuals
to
see
what
work
is
needed,
as
opposed
to
walking
in
and
saying
this
is
the
work
I'm
going
to
do.
You
know
this
is
how
it's
gonna
go.
So
there
is
also
there's
a
great
unknown
and
that's
one
of
the
things
I
think
our
organization
many
organizations
can
do
is
be
okay.
A
E
D
To
get
back
to
the
issue
of
space,
because
I
hadn't
thought
about
that,
but
I'm,
a
member
at
st.
Thomas,
Lutheran
Church,
which
is
right
next
door
to
Beth,
Shalom,
the
Jewish
Center
and
then
University
Baptist.
We
sort
of
share
the
same
amount
of
property
and
there's
a
wonderful
story
about
how
the
folks
at
st.
Thomas
came
to
the
rescue
of
the
Congregation
Beth
Shalom,
when
a
neo-nazi
tried
to
torch
that
place
many
years
ago.
D
A
A
And
going
to
panels
together
and
working
on
different
issues
and
projects
together
and
I
know
your
story,
and
you
know
my
story
and
and
we've
shared
stories
and
and
so
that
gets
me
to
that
issue
of
trust
and
I.
Think
you
know
when
someone
says
to
me,
you
know
who,
who
do
you
know?
That's
gonna
be
down
for
you,
I
can
think
of
Doug
almost
immediately
and
and
I.
A
D
Often
tell
the
story
of
the
tragedy
of
the
shooting
of
Juan,
Junoon
1999
and
the
communities
that
came
together
to
support
each
other
because
of
the
hate
crime,
literature
that
was
being
distributed.
The
gay
community,
the
Jewish
community,
the
black
community,
the
Asian
community,
and
if
there
was
any
silver
lining
in
all
of
that,
it
was
the
friendships
that
formed
out
of
that.
That
I
think
have
really
strengthened,
strengthen
this
community
in
ways
that
we
couldn't
have
imagined.
A
And
and-
and
it
brought
us
together
in
a
way
I,
sometimes
when
you
have
a
common
opponent,
I,
don't
think
I
hate
to
use
the
word
enemy.
But
when
you
have
a
common
opponent,
you
know
that
does
bring
you
together,
but
you
know
all
the
time:
it's
not
there.
You
know
and
I
what
what
brought
you
to
where
you
are
about
being
allies
to
people
who
are
different
from
you.
C
I
had
a
certain
strength
and
I
could
empower
others
by
doing
that,
and
and
to
be
honest
where
it
really
came
to
the
forefront
for
me,
was
in
college
and
I
worked
in
the
residence
hall
systems
and
suddenly
I
was
friends
with
a
lot
of
people
who
were
very
different
from
me,
and
my
sense
is
the
the
stronger
my
relationship,
and
this
is
with
most
social
justice
issues.
Then
it
becomes
I
cannot
not
do.
B
C
It's
like
no.
This
is
strong
enough
now
and
I
have
entered
this
world.
That
I
cannot
not
do
this
and
once
I'm
there
that's
unstoppable
and-
and
that's
I
think
what
we
try
to
do
with
the
congregation
education
and
pieces
like
that,
where
people,
then
it's
like,
no,
not
oh,
you
have
to
go
out
and
do
this,
but
get
people
to
the
place.
They
cannot
not
do
this
yeah
and
that's
a
powerful
place.
I
think.
A
That's
the
thing
about
knowing
people
as
people,
you
know,
you
don't
know
people
as
groups,
I,
don't
know
people
as
members
of
the
LGBTQ
community
or
black
people
or
white
people,
but
I
know
Mary,
Ann
and
I
know
Doug
and
I
know.
Jennifer
and
I
know
Scot,
and
so
you
can't
do
things
that
I
don't
like
to
any
of
you.
You
know
and
I'm
gonna
stand
for
you
and
and
by
extension,
all
of
those
people
in
your
group.
You.
B
Right
so
that
trust
can
be
built
and
I
know
for
myself
how
I
got
to
this
point
is
back
in
2016,
not
even
after
24
hours
after
the
election,
I
just
hear
mana,
moan
business
in
this
community
and
I,
you
know,
was
walking
across
the
street,
go
into
a
store
and
there
was
a
truck
that
came
up
and
I
was
on
my
phone
and
I
jumped
up
because
I
heard
some
scurrying
and
some
screeching
tires
and
I
looked
up
and
there's
this
guy.
That
was
in
the
car
or
in
the
truck,
and
he
goes.
B
You
know
bad
derogatory
words
and
you
know
call
me
the
n-word
call
me
the
b-word
and
said
that
Trump
was
gonna,
deport
me
back
to
Africa
and
so
I
at
the
time
that
it
happened.
I
was
just
like
oh
okay
and
I,
just
kept
walking
and
I
didn't
think
about
it
and
then
I
got
in
the
store
and
I
just
started,
visibly
singing
and
then
I
couldn't
even
buy
what
I
was
trying
to
buy
and
I
left
and
I
just
remember
driving
home
just
thinking-
oh
my
goodness.
B
C
B
You
know
we
had
talked
about
you
know
after
the
election
we
woke
up
and
said:
what
does
this
mean
because
we're
all
fearful
and
scared
of
you
know
what
was
going
to
be
the
new
agenda
now
that
this
was
happening,
and
you
know
he
encouraged
me
was
like
you
know,
I
think
you
should
write
about
it.
I
think
you
should
be
very
careful
and
you
know
look
at
what
will
happen
from
this.
B
Some
really
good
messages,
some
really
not-so-good
messages,
even
from
members
of
the
community,
but
that
is
where
I
realized
that
you
know
there
were
people
that
were
truly
saying
that
they
were
here
for
me
and
even
after
that
moment
happened
is
you
know,
trying
to
come
and
still
saying
hey.
Are
you,
okay,
what
can
we
do
for
you.
C
B
Kind
of
thing,
and
to
me
it
was
just
like
wow,
you
know,
truly
being
an
ally
is
listening,
and
you
know
trying
to
respect
the
space
and
understand
that
being
an
ally
definitely
means
it's
some
hard
uncomfortable
positions
and
friendships
that
will
end
and
family
issues.
That
will
come
from
that
yeah
I.
D
B
A
Eyes
of
the
legislators,
yeah
I
think
you're.
Probably
right
and
you
know,
as
you
were
talking
Jennifer
I,
remember,
I
think
it
was
a
couple
of
years
ago
we
had
Muslim
woman
who
was
sitting
outside
her
restaurant
and
a
her
job
and
was
attacked
by
someone
and
and
I.
Remember
at
that
point
thinking.
You
know
that
so
many
people
came
forward
immediately.
There
were
people
eating
in
the
restaurant
there
were
women
sitting
with
scarves
on
their
heads,
which
you
know
again.
What
does
LSU
really
look
like
and
so
and
I
always
wondered?
A
Is
it
for
the
moment
you
know?
Is
it
and,
and
in
that
moment,
is
that
even
still
a
good
thing
is
that
support
in
that
moment,
but
after
that,
two
days
or
after
that
week,
you
know,
then
what
because
the
people
are
still
here
and
the
issues
are
still
here
and
I
think
so
many
times
people
think
either
that
doesn't
happen
in
Bloomington.
You
must
have
been
doing
something
to
make
that
happen.
You
know
I
mean
because
this
is
Bloomington
and
so
so
I
don't
know
I
mean
I'm.
A
But
they're
also
those
things
that
that
are
I,
think
poor
ways
to
be
support.
I
mean
well,
not
supportive,
but
just
just
poor
ways
to
function
and
that
one-and-done
kind
of
thing
is
because
the
issue
doesn't
go
away
and
you
are
not
changed
when
you
go
and
you
sit
someplace
or
you
wear
a
scarf
or
you
hold
a
sign
or
you
might
that
that
doesn't
change
because
you
still
get
to
go
back
to
your
comfortable
distance.
A
D
B
B
C
B
D
A
C
It's
been
three
days
and
I
often
say
circle
back
to
that
person
in
that
family,
three
months
from
now
six
months
from
now
nine
months,
because
that's
when
some
of
that's
going
to
settle
in
and
I
feel
that
when
I
think
of
the
the
Muslim
woman
with
a
with
a
hijab
that
circle
back
three
months
from
now
six
months
as
a
matter
of
fact,
I
tend
not
to
go
in
right
away.
Unless
it's
immediately
in
front
of
me
and
it's
it's
going
to
happen,
it's
part
of
our
culture.
A
And
I
think
to
that
point,
I
mean
I,
think
part
of
being
an
ally
is,
is
understanding
that
you're
walking
you're
voluntarily
walking
into
a
painful
space.
You
know
the
trauma
that
different
people
have
felt
being
oppressed
or
discriminated
again.
It
is
painful,
but
it's
a
pain
that
people
live
with
24/7,
and
so
so
you
walk
into
that
space
and
and
it
doesn't
go
away
when
you
leave
and
and
so
it's
hard
to
I
think
very
difficult
to
voluntarily
continue
to
circle
back.
Yes
to
that.
To
that
space,
yeah.
E
Would
take
this
to
a
weird
flipside
ahead
and
thought
about
before,
which
is
the
other
element
of
coming
back
months
later?
Is
that
in
these
moments,
where
something
bad
happened?
Thinking
of
the
story
with
the
restaurant,
your
story,
you
know
there
can
be
this
outcry
towards
the
person
who
did
this
inappropriate,
oppressive
thing
and
in
that
moment
like
it's
there
and
that
that
Rachael
singer,
but
if
we
don't
come
back
to
it,
are
they
gonna
learn
to
change
their
behavior
on
a.
B
A
B
E
B
Would
you
know,
for
example,
if
I'd
you
know
but
go
to
store
and
be
followed,
and
somebody
is
sitting
there
watching
me
get
followed
using
that
privilege
and
checking
it
at
the
moment
and
stepping
in
and
saying
is
there?
You
know
something
because
oftentimes
as
much
as
I
want
to
say
what
I
really
want
to
say:
I
can't
you.
A
That
reminds
me
of
a
situation
Doug,
you
knew
my
late
husband,
but
whenever
he
would
see-
and
we
didn't
live
here-
but
we
lived
in
another
space
whenever
he
would
see
african-american
men
stopped
by
the
police.
I
don't
care
where
we
were.
He
would
always
stop
and
be
and
get
out
and
say.
Is
there
something
I
can
help
with
used
to
scared
me
to
death?
You.
E
D
A
But
you
know
they:
they
want
to
tell
you
how
you
should
feel
or-
or
you
know
it's
not
it's
not-
that
bad
and
it's
very
patronizing
and
and
then
get
offended.
If
you
tried
to
correct
that
and
one
of
the
things
I
think
I
don't
know
if
we
said
it
on
or
off
camera,
but
we
were
saying
you
know,
part
of
being
a
better
Ally
is
understanding
when
someone
calls
you
on
something.
You
know
that
oh
I
made
a
mistake.
A
D
A
great
example:
I
I,
was
asked
to
moderate
a
panel
at
the
black
culture
center,
with
a
black
pastor,
who
was
very
homophobic
and
with
I've
sat
between
him
and
a
black
gay
student,
and
at
some
point
the
conversation
moved
to
the
black
pastor
said
to
the
student.
You
can't
change
your
skin
color,
but
you
can
change
your
orientation
and
the
student
with
a
great
deal
of
respect,
turned
to
the
pastor
and
said
you
have
a
right
to
speak.
Your
truth,
you
don't
have
a
right
to
speak.
D
D
C
A
And
I
also
think
it's
important
to
for
for
those
of
us
who
feel
that
we
are
allies
and
better
allies
I'm
going
to
keep
using
that
better
allies
that
it's
okay,
not
to
be
in
a
space
with
people,
I
mean
because
there
are
times
whether
you're,
whoever
you
are
women,
African
Americans
men,
whatever
that
they
want
to
be
together
and-
and
maybe
you
know,
you're
not
there
and
it's
okay
and
again
it's
not
about
you,
you
know
it's
it's
about
them
and
I
have
found.
You
know,
people
that
want
to
be
in
every
space.
A
C
A
B
E
A
E
C
C
A
D
C
D
A
A
A
A
C
C
So
for
each
person
you
are
sitting
down
with
a
new
truth,
is
going
to
come
and
I'll
tell
you
that
takes
time
it
takes
slowing
down
and
I
I
feel
like-
and
this
is
certainly
part
of
my
work-
is
helping
people
slow
down
and
I.
Remember
asking
somebody
one
time:
you
know:
why
is
it
that
as
a
society,
we
have
such
a
hard
time
slowing
down
because
will
grieve
it's
in
us?
C
D
A
I,
thank
you
all
for
being
here.
I
I
love
this
community.
You
all
are
one
of
the
reasons
that
that
I
do
love
Bloomington
and
you
know,
but
I,
don't
idealize.
Bloomington
I
know
that
the
things
that
happen
in
Chicago
and
Indianapolis
and
Detroit
happened
in
Bloomington
too,
but
I
think
we're
different,
because
we're
small
enough
that
we
all
do
know
one
another
and,
and
we
can
be
there
to
support
one
another
so
so
I.
Thank
you
all
for
honoring
us
with
your
time
and
to
our
audience.