►
Description
Listen to the conversation at GitLab with Dulce Orozco about Self Compassion Practice: https://www.dulceorozco.com/
A
Welcome
everybody
to
this
learning
speaker
series.
Today
we
have
dulce
orozco,
who
is
speaking
with
us
about
self-compassion
practice.
This
speaker
series
is
part
of
a
three-part
speaker
series.
That's
happening.
This
quarter
called
collaborating
with
compassion.
You
might
have
been
part
of
our
may
speaker
series,
which
was
part
of
mental
health
month.
Mental
health
awareness
month.
Excuse
me,
and
then
we
have
another
one
coming
up
in
july.
A
So
if
you
haven't
caught
our
may
speaker
series,
you
can
watch
the
recording
and
you
can
expect
to
see
an
invitation
to
our
july
speaker
series
soon
if
you've
never
been
to
one
of
these
sessions.
Before
we
start
off
with
a
conversation
between
me
and
dulce,
we
have
a
couple
of
questions
in
the
agenda
and
after
we
go
through
those
questions,
we'll
open
up
the
conversation
to
questions
from
team
members
on
the
cop.
B
B
A
B
So
I
know
that
the
word
itself
can
be
self-explanatory,
but
I
think
it's
nice
to
to
do
this
at
the
beginning.
So
for
many
of
us
we
can
be
our
worst
critics
right.
So
we
tell
ourselves
things
that
we
wouldn't
tell
anyone,
because
it's
not
nice
and
because
most
likely
you'll
get
in
trouble.
If
you
talk
to
others
in
the
same
way
that
you
talk
to
yourself,
so,
let's
think
about
all
bad
and
of
course
it's
not
always
right.
B
So
that's
mindfulness,
then,
is
common
humanity
and
it's
the
idea
to
keep
in
mind.
That
suffering
is
part
of
a
human
experience
that,
even
though
we
might
not
see
it
other
people,
even
if
they're
smiling,
even
the.
If
we
see
them
on
linkedin,
you
know
thriving
they're
having
problems
too,
because
that's
something
that
we
can
simply
not
avoid
the
suffering
of
being
a
human.
A
Thanks,
I'm
glad
that
we
defined
that,
especially
for
this
conversation
and
thinking
about
like
the
what
what
makes
up
self-compassion,
I
think
it's
really
important
to
have
in
mind
so
thinking
about
this
definition
of
self-compassion.
I'm
wondering
if
we
can
talk
about
what
are
some
ways
that
self-compassion
practice
might
look
like
at
work
and
then
also,
how
might
these
practices
look
specifically
or
maybe
look
differently
in
an
all
work
in
an
all
remote
work,
environment.
B
Yeah
so
bad
invitation
I
extended
to
you,
even
though
it
might
have
sounded
like
I
don't
know
what
she's
talking
about
and
but
that's
self-compassion
right.
Sometimes
we
might
feel
like.
I
don't
know
how
to
go
about
it.
I
don't
have
any
formal
practices
of
self-compassion
and
I
know
that
it
can
be
very
simple
but
making
sure
that
if
you're
thirsty
drink
some
water,
if
you've
been
sitting
down
for
three
hours,
can
you
stand
up
and
stretch
if
you're
hungry
and
you
didn't
have
a
chance
to
eat
breakfast?
B
When
I
first
heard
of
self-compassion,
it
was
in
a
conference
and
christopher
germer,
who
is
a
psychologist
based
in
massachusetts?
I
strongly
recommend
him
he's
absolutely
great.
He
said
something
that
really
stuck
with
me
and
he
said
if
it's
difficult,
then
it's
not
self-compassion
self-compassion.
It's
easy
and
I
think
we
especially
at
the
beginning,
get
stuck
on
the
logistics
and
then
wanting
to
do
it
right
and
we
forget
that
it
has
to
be
easy.
It
doesn't
have
to
be
difficult
right.
B
B
B
So
what
do
I
need
and
again
the
answer
might
be
something
as
simple
as
I
need
to
take
a
five
minute
break
and
going
back
to
your
question
about
how
could
we
incorporate
these
practices
in
an
over
mode
work
environment,
so
working
at
home
has
become
for
many
of
us.
These
double-edged
stars
right.
So
on
one
hand,
yes,
what
we're
at
home,
but
it's
so
hard
to
set
limits
to
stop
working
on
time,
to
like
separate
your
working
space
from
the
rest
of
your
house
and
then
at
the.
B
B
Great,
thank
you.
So
if
we
think
about
destination
self-compassion,
one
way
to
get
there
could
be
using
our
bodies
right,
it
might
be
taking
breaks,
it
might
be
stretching
it
might
be,
being
comfortable
right
like
dressing
comfortably,
it
might
be
breathing
or
plugging
in,
but
but
really
like
plugging
it
into
your
schedule.
Like
really
intentionally
practicing
these
things
right,
it
might
be
again
using
our
body
so
using
our
senses
using
candles
using
essential
oils.
B
Using
what
can
you
do
to
make
your
your
working
space,
the
most
comfortable
way
for
you,
what
works
for
you
now?
If
we
look
at
okay,
let's
destination
is
self-compassion.
How
can
we
use
our
minds
to
get
there
one
going
back
to
the
question,
so
one
of
the
questions
that
we
we
were
using
was
what
do
I
need?
Another
question
is:
when
you
see
yourself
struggling
when
you
see
yourself
in
need
of
self-compassion
and
you're
working
at
home,
or
basically
anywhere
really
is
asking
yourself.
What
would
I
tell
someone?
B
I
really
love
that
is
going
through
exactly
this
situation.
I
know
that
many
of
you
might
have
heard
this
question
in
a
different
setting.
The
chances
are
that
that
could
be
a
way
to
practice,
self-compassion
right
like
just
by
instead
of
focusing
on
you.
What
would
you
tell
someone
else
that
you
love
reaching
out
to
someone?
If
you
need
to
is
a
way
to
practice?
B
Okay,
I
might
be
needing
some
of
this,
so
we
talked
about
the
body
we
talked
about
the
mind
and
if
we
do
it
holistically,
it
would
be
being
aware
and
sticking
to
our
schedules
right
so
setting
limits,
especially
when
working
at
home
meditating
doing
self-compassion
exercises
and
for
those
of
you
that
have
a
spiritual
practice,
even
incorporating
some
things
like
oracle
cards
or
again,
you
can
make
it
your
own.
You
can
have
fun
with
self
compassion.
A
B
And
it
starts
with
each
of
us
right,
it's
it's
kind
of
like
well.
How
can
you
make
it
your
priority,
which
I
think,
intentionality
and
prioritizing
this
it's
a
big
part
of
it,
so
because
it's
almost
like
going
against
our
default,
which
is
being
tough
to
ourselves.
You
know
like
that
negative
self-talk,
so
it's
almost
like
going
against
it.
Yeah.
B
B
B
I
would
say
that
one
of
the
reasons
why
self-compassion
was
so
impacting
for
me
was
because
it
was
almost
as
I
would
say
that
it
was
the
first
time
I've
heard
well,
there's
another
way
like
you
can.
You
can
achieve
even
better
results
if
you're
nice
to
yourself
right,
and
I
would
also
say
that
it's
not
easy
for
us
to
practice
it,
because
it's
going
back
to
what
I
was
saying
a
few
seconds
ago.
It
almost
goes
against
what
we
learned
so
for
many
people
of
color.
B
It's
all
about
you
have
to
suck
it
up
right,
like
you
have
to
prove
them
wrong.
You
have
to
be
strong,
so
there
might
be
a
lot
of
resistance
when
someone
tells
you
well
what
if
there
was
another
way,
what,
if
you
don't
have
to
do
any
of
that-
and
you
can
do
even
better
for
yourself,
so
I
would
say
that
the
identity
plays
a
huge,
huge
role
into
all
of
this
many
times.
People
ask
me
what
theoretical
approaches
I
use
and
even
though
self-compassion
by
itself
is
not
a
theoretical
approach.
B
B
So
self-compassion
can
definitely
be
this
thing
that
tells
you
or
that
guides
you
or
that
supports
you,
but
it's
really
hard
for
us
to
give
ourselves
permission
to
even
try
it,
because
it
might
be
seen
as
a
sign
of
weakness
as
a
sign
of
laziness.
But
what,
if
I
do
this,
you
know,
would
that
make
me
look.
I
don't
know
like
lose
all
my
my
talents
or
so
there's
many
misconceptions
about
it.
B
Yeah
and
that
there
is
a
way
for
each
of
us
to
make
it
our
own
right,
so
what
works
for
you
might
not
work
for
me.
What
worked
for
me
yesterday
might
not
work
for
me
today,
but
that
doesn't
mean
that
I
can
find
my
own
way
to
adapt
it
and
make
it
work
with
what
whatever
it
is,
the
resources,
how
I'm
feeling
the
energy
I
have,
so
it
can
really
have
a
positive
impact.
A
Yeah
great
thanks
jose,
so
I
have
one
more
question
and
then
we'll
move
on
to
the
team
member
questions,
because
there's
a
few
in
the
doc
already,
I
would
love
if
we
could
talk
about
what
are
some
signals
or
behaviors.
That
managers
should
watch
for
to
recognize
behavior
in
their
direct
reports
and
within
themselves.
That
indicates
a
need
for
self-compassion
and
then
what
actions
can
managers
take
when
they
notice
this
need
in
their
people?.
B
B
Yes,
we
we
know
that
sometimes
there's
time
frames
and
projects
that
need
to
be
done.
But
if
you
see
your
teen
or
one
person
in
your
team
staying
late
every
single
day,
you
know
that's,
that's
kind
of
like
a
red
flag
being
a
perfectionist
and
from
a
business
perspective
I
can
understand
how
a
manager
might
be
like.
Oh,
it's
awesome
to
have
someone
that
does
such
a
great
job
at
the
same
time,
that
can
really
hold
people
back
and
even
your
whole.
B
B
B
B
B
Another
one
is
paying
attention
to
the
words
we
use,
so
we
were
talking
about
the
self-narrative
right
and
the
negative
self-talk
and
words
can
be
so
so
so
so
powerful
so
pay
attention
to
that
many
times.
There's
there's
this
almost
like.
I
things
that
we
say
on
autopilot.
Oh,
that
was
so
stupid
of
me
or
things
like
that.
That
might
seem
little,
but
yet
they
could
be
an
indicator
of
self-compassion
from
a
business
perspective.
B
B
B
Our
main
challenge
was
to
take
your
calendar
and
actually
blocking
time
off,
because
that's
the
other
thing
many
of
us,
even
if
we
have
the
intention
and
even
if
we
still
want
to
do
it.
If
we
wait
until
the
last
minute,
it
might
be
too
late
right,
there's
things
that
you
cannot
move
around
things
that
you
cannot
be
special.
B
B
It
might
be
so
much
easier
for
you
as
a
manager
to
be
compassionate
towards
other
people
to
be.
You
know,
encouraging
your
team
members,
oh
no!
You
should
take
them
off.
You
know
like
if
you're
having
a
whatever
in
a
work
of
like
a
family
emergency,
go,
take
care
of
that
and
at
the
same
time-
and
these
are
stories
that
I've
heard
from
others
right-
you
can
be
a
great
manager
in
that
way
and
you
might
show
up
to
the
office
the
next
day
after
having
surgery
and
don't
see
that
as
a
problem
whatsoever.
B
B
B
Also
use
your
employee
resource
groups
or
like
make
suggestions
to
them
and
samantha
there's
so
many
free
resources
out
there
that
something
that
might
look
as
little
or
as
simple
as
making
a
google
document
where
everyone
can
plug
in
different
videos.
Ted
talks
podcasts
that
they
use
something
like
that.
It
doesn't
have
to
be
complicated
again.
Remember
if
it's
hard,
it's
not
self-compassion.
A
This
is
really
excellent.
Thank
you
so
much
for
sharing,
so
many
just
like
real
examples
that
I
think,
even
if
people
have
heard
some
of
them
before
hearing
them
in
a
new
way
or
maybe
hearing
something
new
to
walk
away
from
this
conversation
and
think
like
okay,
I,
as
a
manager
can
check
in
with
this
with
my
team
this
week
or
or
I
as
an
individual
contributor,
can
can
check
in
with
myself
on
this
this
week.
I
think
thank
you
for
going
through
all
of
this.
This
is
really
good.
A
C
I
will
say
thanks
so
much
for
this.
It's
really
helpful.
I
was
wondering
if
you
have
any
tips
for
how
I
can
teach
my
children
to
practice
self-compassion,
I'm
always
trying
to
redirect
their
negative
thoughts,
but
I
have
an
older
son
who's
11,
who
just
kind
of
rushes
to
you
know
I
have
a
project
I
I
know
I'm
going
to
do
bad.
That
kind
of
thing,
so
I
I
try
to
tell
him
to
focus
on
the
positive,
but
I
don't
think
I'm
using
all
the
right
words.
So
any
tips
you
can
provide
would
be
helpful.
B
Hi
amanda,
thank
you
for
your
question,
so
I
have
a
six
and
four
four-year-old.
My
six-year-old
is
quite
a
perfectionist.
She
last
year
she
so
she
just
finished
kindergarten.
She
was
getting
ready
for
a
kindergarten
on
a
zoom
thing
and
they
needed
to
do
a
self-portrait
and
she
cried
like
she
cried.
She
made
me
look
for
a
picture
of
herself.
She
was
crying
right
and
I
was
like
no
you're
doing
great
and
she
was
like.
B
B
B
I
think
one
thing
that
you
can
do
together
that
even
he
could
do
himself
is
breathing
exercises.
We
try
to
do
that.
The
ones
I
have
are
super
super,
like
simple,
like
smell
the
hot
chocolate
low,
the
hot
chocolate,
so
you
might
want
to
look
into
more
age-appropriate
ones
right.
Mine
are
too
basic.
Affirmations
are
really
really
cool
too.
There's
this
there's
different
apps,
but
there's
one
called
inside
timer.
B
C
B
Yeah,
actually,
if
we
were
not
taught
yeah
right,
like
as
adults,
that's
the
other
thing
and
I
think
that's
why
it's
so
important
for
mom's
aunts,
godmother.
You
know,
teachers.
I
think
that
we
should
be
learning
about
this
in
preschool.
So
it's
a
skill.
So
when
we're
adults,
it's
not
weird
to
treat
ourselves
nicely
because
you've
been
doing
it
all
along
it's
something
that
you've
been
practicing
and
you've
progressively
gotten
better
at
instead
of
saying
like
oh,
this
is
so
uncomfortable.
I
don't
know
how
to
do
it
and
yeah.
I
I
don't
want
like.
D
Yeah
so
yeah,
I
wanted
to
ask
learning
about
self-compassion
and
then
my
fear
is
be
too
soft
on
yourself
and
you
don't
perform
like.
Sometimes
you
need
to
be
hard
on
yourself,
so
imagine
it
as
changing
your
inner
monologue
to
be
like
a
more
effective
coach
which
makes
sense.
Coaches
are
self
compassionate,
but
they're
also
hard.
Sometimes,
can
you
talk
to
me
about
the
balance
of
that.
B
Yeah,
so
it's
really
interesting
because
there's
been
many
many
studies
about
self-compassion,
so
it's
one
of
those
things
where
back
in
and-
and
this
is
on
one
hand,
this
is
based
on
buddhism
right
so
on
one
hand
we're
talking
about
something
that
we're
we're
adapting.
So
the
the
founders
of
self-compassion
are
christopher,
dermer
and
christine
neff.
B
If
you
want
to
check
them
out,
they're,
both
absolutely
wonderful
and
they
say
so
on
one
hand
this
is
adapted
and
inspired
from
buddhism,
so
this
is
so
so
old,
but
then,
on
the
other
hand,
of
course
they
made
adaptations
around
it
right
and
throughout
the
years
it's
become
such
a.
I
think
it's
because
we
need
it
so
much
that
it's
been
very
formally
studied.
B
B
So
it
creates
the
opposite
effect,
because
when
we
can
be
compassionate
towards
ourselves,
we
become
more
resilient.
When
we
can
be
more
compassionate
towards
ourselves,
we
can
get
to.
We
can
get
access
to
that
creativity
to
that
forgiveness
that
we
have
so
we
can
tap
into
resources
that,
even
though,
have
been
there.
We
might
have
not
have
access
to
in
the
past
because
of
this
quote-unquote
core
beliefs,
right
that
we
learn
from
society
about
this,
it's
it's
better
kind
of
like
getting
ready
for
the
worst
or
you
know.
B
I
have
to
be
tough
with
myself
suck
it
up
all
these
things
so
think
about
it.
This
way,
when
you
practice
self-compassion,
it's
like
having
access
to
all
of
these
extra
resources
that
will
make
you
even
better
that
are
already
in
you,
but
that
for
some
reason
you
you
did
not
have
access
to.
Does
that
kind
of
answer
your
question
james?
It.
D
D
B
B
I
feel
that
with
self-compassion
one
thing
is
to
think
through
it,
but
another
thing
is
to
feel
it.
So
I
would
say
to
give
yourself
the
chance
to
practice
some
of
the
exercises
and
then
see
not
necessarily
through
all
those
rationalizations
that
are
gonna
get
there,
but
with
how
you're
feeling
about
it-
and
I
know
that
just
that
by
itself
can
be
kind
of
like
challenging
for
someone
rational
like
myself,
and
maybe
you
or
maybe
some
other
people,
but
I
think
that
the
door
to
self-compassion
sometimes
is.
Is
that
right?
E
Yeah
hi,
thank
you
for
the
great
talk.
I
was
wondering
if
you
had
any
advice
for
practicing
self-compassion
around
making
past
mistakes,
I
often
find
myself
dwelling
I'm
like.
Oh.
I
said
that
thing
that
felt
bad
that
I
now
realized
was
unskillful
or
oh.
I
heard
that
person's
feelings.
This
feels
bad.
B
B
One
is
called
the
self-compassionate
break
and
basically
is-
and
this
is
recommended
alexander
and
thank
you
for
your
question
by
the
way,
but
this
is
recommended
for
things
that
yes,
so
it's
something
that
is
painful
or
that
is
taking
some
of
your
piece
away,
but
it's
not
super
super
traumatic
right
or
super
super
difficult
to
deal
with.
So
I
would
say
something
that
is
not
quite
on
the
I
don't
know
like
a
10
and
a
0
to
10
scale
right.
B
So
it's
based
on
those
three
different
components
of
self-compassion
and
basically
what
you
do
is
you
take
a
break
and
you
go
through
each
of
them.
So
the
first
one
is
mindfulness,
and
it's
when
you
when
you
realize
oh
here,
I
go
I'm
thinking
about
this
again,
so
you're
recognizing
that
you're
doing
it.
The
second
one
is
common
humanity
and
the
invitation
is
for
you
to
come
up
with
a
phrase
that
remind
you.
B
You
know
what
this
happens
to
all
of
us,
even
though,
and
if
you
want
to
like
even
make
it
a
little
more,
you
know
like
expand
on
it,
a
little
bit
more.
You
can
say,
even
though
it
might
feel
that
it's
just
me
going
through
this.
We
all
go
through
this
as
humans,
so
it's
that
element
of
common
humanity,
reminding
yourself
that
it's
part
of
the
human
experience
right
and
then
the
third
one
is
the
self-kindness.
B
So
this
is
one-
and
this
is
the
most
challenging
part,
because
this
is
when
you
you
part
of
that
break-
is
taking
care
of
yourself.
So
it's
so
easy
for
us
to
say
you
know
what
I'll
get
to
that
at
the
end
of
the
day
on
the
weekend.
I'll
do
that
thing,
but
part
of
of
in
order
for
the
self-compassionate
break
to
work.
You
need
to
do
it
right
then,
and
there,
and
it
can
be
something
as
simple
by
the
way
another
way
to
practice.
Self-Compassion
is
through
touching.
B
So
it's
proven
that
our
bodies
respond
to
to
our
touch
right.
So,
even
something
as
simple
as
putting
your
hands
on
your
chest
and
say
something
nice
to
yourself
right,
like
I'm,
going
through
a
difficult
time,
it's
gonna
get
better
practicing
a
loving
kindness
or
meta.
By
saying,
may
I
be
peace?
May
I
be
you
know
whatever
it
might
be
so
going
to
doing
something
nice
for
yourself
like
taking
a
tea
right
grabbing,
some
all
essential
oil,
but
doing
it
right
then,
and
there
it
doesn't
have
to
be
complicated.
B
B
So
the
other
one
is
called
soften,
soothe
aloud
and
it
kind
of
like
thinking
about
that.
One
thing
that
happened
right
so
it
would
be
the
first
part
of
that
is
soften.
So
is
where,
in
your
body,
where
in
your
body,
are
you
feeling
this
and
really
trying
to
connect
with
your
body?
Let's
say
that
you
realize
you're
feeling
that
you,
you
feeling
a
lot
on
your
chest,
so
soothe
right.
How
can
you
suit
yourself?
How
can
you
soothe
that
feeling?
B
If
you
could
even
picture
that
feeling
in
your
body?
How
could
you
take
care
of
it
right
and
allow?
Which
is
something
that
so
many
of
us
are
almost
trained
consciously
or
unconsciously
to
do
the
opposite,
which
is
distract
yourself,
ignore
it
don't
look
at,
but
here
you're
saying
you
know
what
I'm
gonna
allow
this
to
happen,
because
I
know
that
it
will
pass
and
maybe
even
incorporating
a
mantra
or
something
that
helps
you.
B
I
use
a
lot
of
visual
reminders,
sticky
notes,
lots
and
lots
of
visual
reminders,
and
I
know
that
for
some
people
it's
like-
I
don't
know
about
that,
but
actually
having
that
something
in
front
of
you
might
be
helpful.
So
those
are
two
ways
there.
There
are
many
more
and
again
I'll
be
happy
to
share
with
with
samantha
some
of
the
links,
so
you
can
have
access
to
these
audios.
B
A
B
Just
leaving
I'm
sorry
so,
but
I
was
gonna
say
if
you
don't
have
the
time
if
you're
you
know,
if
you
forget
about
it,
even
something
as
simple
as
asking
yourself:
what
do
I
need
right?
What
do
I
need,
and
what
I
might
need
right
now
is
calling
someone
I
love
and
just
hearing
that
voice
or
what
I
might
need
right
now
is
listening
to
that
favorite
song.
That
always
calms
me
down
so
again.
Remember
that
it
doesn't
have
to
be
complicated.
A
A
great
takeaway
from
this
conversation,
so
thank
you,
yeah!
Well,
dulce.
I
really
appreciate
your
time.
Thank
you
so
much
for
coming
to
speak
with
our
gitlab
team,
I'm
going
to
share
the
recording
once
it
finishes,
processing
and
I'll
share
it
with
you
and
I'll
share
it
with
anyone
who
wasn't
able
to
attend
this
conversation
live
but
again.
Thank
you
so
much
for
your
time.