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A
B
So
this
chapter
is
going
to
talk
about
identifying
expressing
feelings.
B
I
thought
this
chapter
was
really
cool
and
I
learned
a
lot
from
it
and
I'm
gonna.
I
want
to
share
some
of
my
my
personal
thoughts
around
it
as
well
and
anytime
that
you
have
that
you
think
about
something
you
can
also
kind
of
jump
in,
and
you
know
we
can
do
it
together.
A
B
All
right,
so
I
highlight
some
things
that
I
thought
it
was
interesting,
so
here,
basically
it's
gonna
say
about
how
we're
gonna
express
our
feelings
in
a
truth
way.
That's
not
expressing
our
thoughts
or
our
judgments
around
what
other
people
are
talking
about
and
that
we
think
that
they
think
about
us.
B
So
it
first
started
with
this
that
I
thought
it
was
really
interesting
to
like
remind
us
of
everything
that
we've
been
learning
in
this
book.
So
the
first
component
of
of
nvc
is
to
observe
without
evaluating,
and
the
second
component
is
to
express
how
we're
feeling.
B
Cool,
so
the
heavy
cause
of
expressive
feelings
I
think
over
here.
It
was
very
meaningful
for
me
that,
like
when
we
don't
express
our
feelings,
we
feel
we
feel
that
we
are
not.
B
B
It's
very
it's
very
difficult
for
them
to
express
where
they're
feeling-
and
we
know
it
in
general-
that
kids
has
very
hard
time
expressing
what
they
feel.
What
they're
feeling
and
usually
we
kind
of
act
like
kids
in
this
way,
because
we
don't
really
express
what
we
are
feeling
and
we
are
always
telling
the
kids
that
they
need
to
learn
and
sometimes
they
are
violent
when
they
don't
express
what
they
really
want
or
they
need.
B
And
for
my
psychology
kind
of
ville.
It's
always
like
the
kid
has
a
problem,
and
usually
the
parents
doesn't
know
how
to
deal
with
it
and
when
we,
when
we
grow,
we
kind
of
we
figure
it
out
that
it's
not
just
like
a
kid's
problem
and
will
be
warren
taught
how
to
deal
with
her
own
feelings.
B
A
I
I
want
to
also
say
that
something
that
I
have
seen
in
my
experience
of
not
expressing
feelings
is
that
then
you
carry
resentment
because,
like
you
had
a
feeling
and
didn't
express
and
then
like
you,
don't
express
it
in
a
good
way.
But
you
express
it
with
anger
when
you
explode
and
like
accumulating
those
feelings
that
it's
better
to
to
to
be
able
to
communicate
them
like
in
an
in
a
good
way
when
they
arise
and
also
to
process
them.
It's
not
just
like.
A
Not
just
like
storing
that
things
within
you,
but
like
being
mindful
of
that,
everything
that
happens
inside
you
is
is
important
for
you
to
interact
with
with
with
the
reality
that
is
causing
it.
B
Yeah
yeah
great,
so
here
I
put
like
a
note
why
it
says:
do
we
know
how
to
act
when
we
are
wondering
what's
going
on
when
there's
something
missing
like
if
we
are
in
a
relationship,
any
kind
of
relationship?
Really
we
don't
know
what's
going
on
with
the
other
person,
but
we
know
something's
going
on
and
like
we
are
missing
that.
B
But
we
don't
know
how
to
come
and
talk,
and
we
don't
know
how
to
express
her
feelings
and
maybe
to
know
that
something
is
going
on
and
you
don't
really
know
it
kind
of
gets
you
frustrated,
so
it.
I
think.
I
think
this
chapter
helps
us
a
lot
to
see
it
and
to
help
ourselves
and
also
try
to
help
other
people
and.
B
Do
I
really
know
about
it,
or
maybe
it's
not
even
something's,
going
on
it's
my
impression
of
it
or
like?
What's
the
best
way
to
do
it
and
he
keeps
going,
and
he
says
that
when
he
was
in
school,
he
had
like
a
bad
time
trying
to
express
his
feelings
and
he
didn't
want
to
meet
the
boys
that
were
waiting
for
him
outside
and
he
kind
of
hit
himself,
and
the
teacher
saw
him
hitting
himself
and
she
said
that
big
boys
don't
get
free
training.
B
That's
like
same
thing
that
we
always
hear
that,
like
boys,
don't
cry.
So
it's
like
what
it's
that
that
we
cannot
express
our
feelings.
B
And
he
comes,
and
he
explained
that
he's
a
typical.
It
was
typical
for
coaches
to
value
athletes
willing
to
give
their
all
and
continue
playing,
no
matter
how
much
physical
pain
they
were
in.
B
I
learned,
and
then
he
say
that
I
learned
the
lesson
so
well.
I
once
continued
playing
baseball
for
a
month
with
an
untreated
broken
wrist,
so
like
it
came
in
real
pain,
is
like
it.
It
becomes
like
a
big
problem
when
you
don't
know
how
to
express
yourself,
and
sometimes
even
the
environment
doesn't
allow
you
to
express
yourself
and
express
your
feelings
because
they
are
always.
They
always
want
more
from
you
and
more
that
you
cannot
even
be
a
person
anymore,
that
you
have
to
give
your
all,
and
you
cannot
feel
anything
basically.
B
B
So
here
it
was
like
a
guy,
a
boy
that
came
to
him
and
was
saying
that
that
he
his
roommate
was
playing
music
very
loud,
and
he
say
that
I
feel
that
isn't
right
to
play
music
so
loud
at
night,
but
he
didn't
really
express
his
feelings.
He
was
kind
of
judging
it
and
giving
his
opinion
about
it.
B
So,
at
the
end
he
didn't
know
how
to
express
his
feeling,
and
he
thought,
and
that,
like
he
didn't
know
what
his
feelings
really
were,
because
it's
a
thing
that,
like
we
don't
learn
in
our
family,
we
don't
learn
in
school
and
as
we
grow,
it
becomes
a
real
problem
because
we
don't
know
how
to
express
our
feelings.
A
A
They
are
like
judgments
disguised
as
feelings,
and
I
think
that
the
way
of
understanding
feelings
is
when
you
take
full
responsibility
of
of
of
of
that
feeling,
and
you
don't
like
give
responsibility
of
your
feelings
to
others,
because
when
you
say
like,
I
feel
that
you
are
you.
A
You
are
using
the
word
feel
to
say,
like
I
think,
but
you,
but
you
are
like
some
somehow
yeah,
judging
the
other,
but
when,
when
you
have
feeling
is
something
that
it's
a
hundred
percent
within
within
yourself
and
and
it
doesn't,
and
you
assume
the
responsibility
of
that
without
yeah,
with
without
making
the
other
guilty
or
or
responsible
for
for
for
that.
So,
like
you,
you
can
be
happy
because
of
someone
doing
something,
but.
A
But
you
you
you
you
cannot
like
and,
and-
and
this
is
this
is
very
very
complex,
but
you
cannot
say
like
you
are
making
me
feel
happy
because,
like
you
are
the
other,
there
is
the
responsibility
of
your
feelings,
but
you
are
the
only
one
who
is
like
responsible
for
them.
A
So,
like
you
are
happy
because
of
something
happened,
but
not
big,
but
it's
not
the
other
one
that
that
is
making
you
happy
you,
because
happiness
is
something
that
we
feel
and
it
within
ourselves,
and
it's
not
something
that
other
can
make
us
feel.
B
Yes,
yes,
beautiful
yeah,
exactly
it's
like
the
way
that
we
feel
it's
not
anyone's
responsibility,
but
ourselves,
and
he
even
says
over
here.
The
difficulty
is
in
identifying
and
expressing
feelings
is
common.
So
it
is
a
common
thing
to
don't
know
the
feeling
that
we
are
really
feeling
like.
What's
going
on,
so
I
have.
B
I
have
an
example
in
my
own
life
with
in
my
ex
exchange
program
that
I
wasn't
feeling
very
good
because
of
the
way
that
the
other
person
was
was
talking
to
me
and
then
I
came
to
this
person
and
I
said
like
hey,
so
you
should.
You
should
just
talk
to
me
nicely
and
in
his
mind
he
was
being
nice,
but
I
was.
B
I
was
feeling
bad
because
of
like
the
impression
that
I
had
of
what
he
was
like
the
way
that
he
was
talking
to
me
and
he
came
to
me
and
he
was
like
look,
I'm
not
responsible
for
the
way
that
you
feel
if
I'm
being
direct
to
you-
and
I
got
that-
and
I
was
like
it
was
very,
very
insightful
for
me.
I
was
like
that's
true,
like
he's
just
being
direct
to
me
and
honest,
and
I
was
feeling
insecure
because
he
was
being
direct
because
I
was
not
used
to
that.
B
And
it's
a
very
common
thing
in
families
as
well,
and
here
he
even
says
like
for
families,
the
toll
is
severe
when
members
are
unable
to
communicate.
Emotions
like
I
said
before
about
kids.
B
I've
seen
a
lot
of
parents
talking
to
their
kids
like
be
quiet,
shut
up,
go
to
your
room
and
like
trying
to
enable
the
kids
to
feel
emotions
and
when
the
kids
were
frustrated
or
sad
or
like
not
feeling
hurt,
somehow
the
family
kind
of
shut
down
those
emotions
and,
and
then
the
kid
get
kind
of
confused
about
it,
because
he
is
feeling
something.
But
no
one
is
really
listening
to
that.
B
B
B
B
So
here
he
says
that,
like
he
regular
regularly
hears
things
like,
I
wouldn't
want
you
to
get
to
the
wrong
idea.
I'm
married
to
a
wonderful
man,
but
I
never
know
what
he
is
feeling
and
another
example.
I
feel
like
I'm
married
to
a
wall,
so
it's
not
her
feelings.
It's
like
her
judgment
and
her
impression
about
how
her
husband
is
acting
like
in
a
relationship
with
her,
and
it
happens
a
lot
with
relationships
with
the
boss
as
well.
A
I
I
also
liked
a
lot
this
highlight
that
you
have
that
it
says
like
when
someone
is
hurt,
he's
discouraged
and
doesn't
respond
so
thereby
confirms
your
your
judgment
of
the
person
so
like.
A
If,
if,
if
someone
is
telling
you
like,
you
are
married,
you
you
are
a
wall
like
what
that
triggers
on,
you
is
is
to
maybe
not
say
anything
and
and
oh
and
and
that
then
like
confirms
what
the
initial
person
was
saying
and
it
doesn't
like
cut
the
the
unwanted
behavior,
and
this
is
something
that
it
happened
to
me
some
weeks
ago,
because
yeah,
I
I
I
was
having
some
arguments
around
house
chores
and
and
like
I,
I
I
was
feeling
that
there
were
some
like
wrong
communication
on
the
way
we
were
discussing
this
and
trying
to
apply
this
non-violent
communication.
A
I
tried
to
to
make
it
as
clear
as
possible
like
exactly
in
what
chores
do
you
want
more
help
with,
and
that
way
we
we
didn't
talk
generally
generally
about
things
that
we
don't
do,
but
we
started
like
going
into
the
grain
into
what
are
the
changes
that
we
can
have
in
our
behavior,
so
so
yeah,
it's
it's
it's.
A
What
I
think
that
it's
important
about
this
is
to
take
the
a
signal
and
some
noise
that
can
be
done
and
try
to
see
what
is
what
is
the
real
message
that
is
behind
it
and
a
good
tool
that
I
think
nbc
tells
us
is
to
be
like
to
to
try
to
only
talk
about
facts,
and
it's
not
like
hey.
You
don't
help
me
with
the
chores
of
the
house.
A
That's
that's
somehow
somehow
a
judgment
but
saying
like
hey,
can
you
please,
I
don't
know,
make
the
bed
after
after
you
you
wake
up,
that's
something
more
punctual
that
and
that
triggers
and
motivates,
and
an
action
that
that
actually
transform
the
initial
situation.
B
Yeah
agreed,
I
think
I
did
like
a
highlight
over
there
about
that
more
at
the
end,
but
it's
something
like
when
we
are
really
honest
with
ourselves
with
our
feelings
and
we
can
be
honest
to
the
other
person.
B
It
just
makes
the
communication
easier,
because
then
the
other
person
really
knows.
What's
your
expectations
are
and
like.
How
are
you
really
feeling-
and
it's
also
something
that's
very
hard
like
after
I
read
this
chapter
and
at
the
end
he
gave
us
some
words
and
we
can
use
when
we
want
to
express
our
feelings
and
I'm
trying
to
to
really
do
that
and
then
sometimes
I
even
caught
myself
trying
to
express
a
thought,
but
using
my
feelings,
words
and
it's,
it
is
hard
to
do
that,
because
we're
kind
of
used
to.
A
It
it's
hard
and
it's
an
everyday
practice
because,
like
we
get
mad
and
at
that
moment
our
mind
becomes
a
crazy
horse
and
we
start
like
saying
a
lot
of
things,
but
we
have
to
always
try
to
stay.
On
top
of
our
mind,.
B
And
here
like
after
she
said
that
she's
married
to
a
wall,
then
her
husband
starts
to
act
like
a
wall,
and
then
he
tries
to
help
her.
And
he
says
it
sounds
to
me
like
you're,
feeling,
lonely
and
wanting
more
emotion
and
emotional
contact
with
your
husband.
B
B
It's
it's
just
better.
I
mean
her
husband
didn't
know
exactly
what
she
was
feeling
and
then
now
that
he
tries
to
help
her
expressing
her
feelings.
Her
husband
understand
why
she
thought
she
was
married
to
a
wall
and
because,
like
it's,
it's
hard
to
understand
like
if,
when
you
just
say,
admire
to
a
wall
like
what
is
a
wall
really
so
now
he
understands
more
and
they
starts
to
connect
with
their
feeling
and.
B
The
husband,
for
example,
hears
himself
criticized
for
behaving
like
a
wall.
He
is
hurt
and
discouraged
and
doesn't
respond.
B
Encourage
so
here
he
says
about
like
a
cooperation
that
he
was
working
and
then
he
says
like
encourage
them
to
express
more
of
their
humanness
in
their
communication
with
co-workers.
B
So,
like
you
put
more
of
our
human
being
inside
when
we
express
our
feelings
in
a
right
way,
and
it
gets
better
results
at
the
end
in
here
he's
trying
to
to
say
another
example
that
workings
workers
of
the
admin
administrator.
B
B
The
administrators
of
the
hospital-
they
were
anxious
about
forthcoming
meeting
with
the
hospital's
physicians
because
they
were
kind
of
free
training
about
going
there
and
express
their
feelings
and
they
voted
no
to
a
project
that
the
administrators
wanted
to
put
in
practice
because
they
didn't
know
how
to
come
and
really
express
themselves.
B
So
he
tried
to
help
them
and
when
he
says
so,
then
they
do
like
a
role-playing
session.
And
he
says
I'm
feeling
frightened
to
be
bringing
up
this
issue.
B
And
then
they
don't
like
the
administrators,
don't
like
the
way
that
he
says
it,
because
they
think
it's
not
the
right
way
to
express
their
feelings
like
that.
Because
then
the
the
doctors
are
not
gonna
like
it,
but
then
they
get
they
kind
of
get
over
it
and
they
do
it
and
they
express
it.
A
I
I
I
want
to
comment
on
on
this
capsule
that
it
says
I'm
expressing
our
ability
can
help
us
resolve
conflict
yeah,
that
that's
something
that
I
have
seen
a
lot
and
I
think
it's
key
for
resolving
conflict,
sometimes
when
we
are
mad
to
the
other
person
or
when
a
conflict
arises.
A
What
like
initially
jumps
is
that
the
other
part
has
no
vulnerability
and
somehow
is
bull
narrating
your,
but
when
you
understand
sometimes
the
other
part
you
can,
and
you
can
understand
that.
Why
are
they
doing
that
and
yeah?
A
I
think
that
opening
the
space
to
be
vulnerable
also
promotes
an
authentic
self
and
and
and
not
an
image
of
a
false
persona
who
is
who
has
not
feelings
at
all,
but
like
expressing
our
vulnerabilities
makes
us
human
and
breaks
that
eyes
that
that
sometimes
yeah,
we
that
breaks
that
taboo.
That
says
that
that
present
feeling
is
not
good
and
and
yeah.
A
When,
when,
when
you
understand
the
vulnerability
of
the
other,
then
you
are
also
able
to
to
be
more
empathic
because
yeah,
when
when
when
we
choose,
chose
to
not
be
vulnerable,
it's
very
difficult
to
connect
with
the
other.
B
Oh
here's
what
I
said
before
that,
like
being
honest
with
others,
it's
good
and
also
being
honest
with
yourself
and
people
will
help
you
more
if
they
know
how
you
are
really
feeling,
because
they
don't
have
a
magical
powers.
To
read
your
mind,
that's
like
what
sometimes
we
expect
and
especially
romantic
relationships
that
we
are
sometimes
frustrated,
because
the
other
person
didn't
pick
up
what
we
want,
but
we
never
really
said
anything
so
like
no
one
has
magical
powers
to
know
how
you're
feeling.
B
So,
if
you
don't
go
and
open
yourself,
maybe
the
other
person
is
not
going
to
open
as
well,
and
it
doesn't
help
the
relationship
to
improve.
B
In
here
he
he
was
talking
about
another
example
that
he
went
to
to
a
school
to
talk
about
nvc,
and
then
he
was.
He
was
being
weird
during
his
presentation
because
he
wasn't
feeling
that
they
were
accepting
him
and
they
were
understanding
him.
So
then.
A
B
It
and
then
he
realized
how
he
was
contributed
to
the
student's
perception
by
trying
to
hide
his
discomfort.
So
no
one
at
like
was
paying
attention
on
him
really
when
he
was
being
discomfort
in
his
presentation
and
then
he
opened
himself
for
the
students
and
he
said
I'm
feeling
nervous,
not
because
you're
black.
My
feelings
have
to
do
with
my,
not
knowing
anyone
here
and
wanting
to
be
accepted.
B
When
I
came
to
the
room
and
this
expression
of
his
vulnerability
had
a
pronounced
effect
on
his
students,
they
started
to
ask
questions
about
him,
to
tell
him
things
about
themselves
and
to
express
curiosity
curiosity
about
nbc.
So
at
the
end
it
was.
B
It
was
good
that
he
expressed
his
real
feelings
and
and
told
them
that
he
was
also
vulnerable
and
at
the
end
they
were
having
a
good
relationship,
and
I
can
see
that
happening
a
lot
in
sq
environment
that
sometimes
the
teacher
doesn't
feel
comfortable
and
then
no
one
really
pays
attention
about
what
he's
talking
about,
and
here
he's
trying,
he
started
to
say
and
discuss
about
feelings
versus
non-feelings.
So
what
is
real
feeling?
B
What
is
not
like?
How
can
you
express
that
you're
feeling
something
and
how
to
understand
that?
It's
not
a
feeling-
and
he
says
a
common
confusion
generated
by
the
english
language
is
to.
Oh-
is
our
use
of
the
word
phil
without
actually
expressing
a
feeling.
A
I
I
have
actually
one
criticism
to
to
the
way
that
paragraph
is
written
is
because
I
think
not
only
in
english,
like
in
spanish,
you
can
make
the
same
mistake
and
I
think
like
in
most
languages,
we
we
can.
We
tend
to
make
those
mistakes
that
we
use
the
verb
like
feel,
and
that
in
spanish
would
be
like.
B
And
here
is
kind
of
like
a
way
that
you
can
trying
to
pick.
If
that's
a
real
feeling
or
it's
a
thought
so.
B
If
it
comes
with
words
like
that,
like,
as
with
you,
can
see,
that's
not
really
a
feeling
and
it's
a
thought
like,
I
feel
that
you
should
know
better.
So
it's
not
your
feeling.
Really
it's
your
thought
and
something
that
you
believe
in
kind
of
that
this
person
should
know
better.
B
I
feel
like
a
failure.
It's
not
like
a
feeling.
It's
it's
your
thought,
and
here
the
example
of
the
wife
I
feel
as
if
I'm
living
with
a
wall.
It's
your
thought.
It's
your
opinion.
It's
like
your
judgment.
B
B
B
It's
like
your
opinion,
and
it
comes
with
names
or
none
referring
to
people
as
well.
I
feel
my
boss
is
being
manipulative.
I'm
sorry,
my
dog
is
barking.
B
In
here
he
also
says
like
distinguish
between
what
we
feel
and
what
we
think
we
are.
So
I'm
just
a
moment.
I'm
sorry.
B
So
in
nvc
we
distinguish
words
that
express
actual
feelings
and
those
that
describe
what
we
think
we
are.
So
it's
like
some
ways
that
we
can
trying
to
understand.
It's
an
actual
feeling
or
not,
so
I
feel
inadequate
as
a
guitar
player
in
this
statement,
I'm
being
assessing
my
ability
as
a
guitar
player
rather
than
directly
my
feelings,
so
here
he
will
express
his
feelings.
B
I
feel
impatient,
I
feel,
frustrated
with
myself
as
a
guitar
player,
it's
very
interesting
how
we
can
learn,
how
to
name
our
feelings.
A
B
If
you
ignore
this
part
was
very
meaningful
for
me
to
understand
why
I
feel
ignored
it's
not
really
a
feeling.
B
A
A
But
also
you
can
say
like.
B
B
So
I
really
like
this
that
he
puts
like
words
that
we
can
kind
of
use
and
understand
better
our
own
feelings,
and
here
he
tries
to
help
us
build
vocabulary,
feelings-
and
this
is
interesting
words
such
as
good
and
bad,
prevent
the
listen
listener
from
connecting
easily
with
what
we
might
actually
be
feeling.
B
I
thought
that
was
interesting
because
good
and
bad
it's
very.
It
can
have
a
lot
of
interest
interpretations.
B
And
sometimes
it's
not
really
what
we
want.
B
B
B
I
think
it's
really
nice
that
he
gave
us
these
words,
because
it
is
hard
to
to
know
more
about
our
own
feelings
and
then,
after
we
read
the
chapter,
we
are
like,
oh
my
god
so
like.
How
can
I
really
express
that
so
he
kind
of
gave
us
a
list
and
here
is
like
when
our
needs
are
not
being
made,
so
I
can
feel
intense.
I
can
feel
afraid
I
can
feel
angry.
B
I
can
feel
mean
I
feel
exhausted.
B
And
at
the
end,
to
summarize,
I
think
this
was
really
interesting
as
well
by
developing
a
vocabulary
of
feelings
that
allow
us
to
clearly
and
specifically
name
or
identify
our
emotions.
B
A
Thanks
bianca,
it
was
a
great
facilitation
and
also
a
great
chapter.
What
what
I
get
from
from
this
chapter
is
how
hard
it
is
to
actually
practice
this
and
how
unconscious
we
make
mistakes
in
our
daily
communication.
B
Yeah-
and
I
think
also
when
we
understand
more
feelings,
we
can
help
other
people
to
understand
their
own
feelings
and
especially
when
we
listen
to
a
conflict
and
they're
just
talking
about
what
makes
bad
and
then,
when
we
name
their
feelings
for
them.
They
can
understand
better
why
the
conflict
is
happening.
A
Yeah,
and
also
now
that
we
are
reaching
to
the
top
of
the
hour.
I
also
want
to
say
that
I
will
be
taking
chapter
number
five
for
next
week
and
also
I
will
continue
inviting
more
people
to
come.
Maybe
I
think
that
today
people
was
a
little
bit
distracted
by
other
calls,
but
yeah.
I
will
continue
inviting
people
to
to
come
to
this,
because
I,
and
by
every
every
week
that
passes,
I
am
more
happy
to
have
started
this
this
book
club
and
how?
A
How
much
are
we
learning
about
communication.